Sidney14

I have not posted for a while nor sought advise on this forum..... I have not relapsed probably because I am just so busy with keeping up with my full time job where yet again within less than a year I am getting a new direct boss...... and yes trying to hold it together as best as I can as a single mum to three girls. Sometimes it feels like things that only happened a week ago in my head have occurred one year ago ..... I think that means I am juggling too many balls at once and I just don't know how to stop it. At times I feel like my life is passing me by without me living it but only existing in it. I know all the right advise to give but when it comes to applying it to myself I am just all over the place neither here nor there. When I finally get time to myself there are just so many things I want to do only to find that I am too exhausted to do them. So I end up doing nothing which is going from 100 straight down to 0 and I find myself getting upset and frustrated because yet again all the things I wanted to do did not get done. It is just so frustrating. I know I am not the only one who feels this way but I am just sick and tired to live another day like this. I have emotional support but no one can change my life or the way I live it but myself. This might sound horrible but at least when I was on something I was able to access that part of me that was and felt alive that felt passionate ...... Is there anyone else out there feeling this way or is it just me?

Dee74

Hi Sydney - good to see you again

you sound really overworked and maybe a little depressed. I think balance is so important.

Can you delegate a little at work?
Maybe have someone else watch the kids one weekend and get a little you time?
Can the kids help out more at home?

It sounds like you're romancing the past a little.
Go back and re-read your old posts Sydney - it's simply not true you felt this way.

do you still see your counsellor/therapist?

D

four812

Wow thanks for the wonderful post. Such an honest and authentic share. I can't imagine the difficulties you face as a single parent. You do have a lot on your plate. And you are doing great doing what you do. You have a lit and it must be almost unbearable at times. So great job.

Sounds like things will smooth out over time. All you do and staying sober is incredible! And if you can do that you can do anything.

:-)

HonestlyTrying

For me it never lightens my spirit to be doing things out of a sense of obligation. I know how it feels when the world just seems colorless and drab. I am going through feelings just like that. I totally get your statement that the using life seemed alive and passionate. I know that life is made up of hills and valleys, and it sucks being in the valley! (I used to medicate to avoid the valleys)
I accept that life is ups and downs. That doesn't mean I give up when I am down, I just accept it as part of normal life. I have been dragging along all week. I still have chosen to remain bogged down...only I can change how I feel by taking action on my own behalf. Ugh. Feelings follow actions...I know it.

doggonecarl

Exactly. And change is not as insurmountable as you think.