upquark

So in the wake of my latest marriage failure and all the junk that has attended that, this last week I broke down and now I am in the middle of a relapse. I'm still going to work etc., so I'm not going to say it's a blowout or anything, I suppose I am at the point where I am toying with fire and having a lot of mental debates about getting rid of what I have now and my next moves. On the positive side I could walk away from this now more or less consequence free still, maybe having a reality check about what I need to do to stay clean in my changing circumstances. On the negative side it does show how weak I still am and this could still go badly quickly. Last night and today I am starting to have increasing clarity again about all this, and I figure putting this out there in a 'public' way may start to help me get out of this hole I am digging for myself.

Opivotal

((upquark)) I know you're hurting but you've traveled this road before with some dire consequences.

Please use the real life tools you have in place, you know what they are.

Tonks

I'm sorry to hear about your relapse quark but it doesn't have to continue. All of us, yourself included, already know whats going to happen if you keep going down this path.

Hope to see you making healthy decisions again soon my friend.

upquark

Thanks very much opi and tonks. I am getting a grip... and you are right opi, I am incredibly fortunate that I have a lot of excellent resources I can use. I made the first move today.

brynn

Quark....I really hope you use those resources...but the bottom line is that you have to decide if sobriety is really what you want. And if it is, you have to stop using or all the resources in the world aren't going to help. I hope you choose to walk away now before any more harm is done. You deserve more out of life than this.

upquark

Thanks all. THings are going a lot better. I have been given a large list of assignments and challenges I am working on today, including attending an outpatient recovery group. I think I have reason to be optimistic.

DrakeCKC

Quark.. stay close and know you have friends here!

Venecia

Quark, my friend, with you in spirit.

You can do this. (But you knew that already.)

Hugs,
V.

Opivotal

Good for you Quark!

SoberLife90

You've done it before you can do it again. I believe in you!

upquark

Thanks Venecia, opi, drake, but not Soberlife... just in general.

Thanks guys. I feel as though I have a grip, seeing the light again.