Gal220

Well the title pretty much says it all. I've been researching for what to speak about and am totally confused.

I know I'm supposed to talk about "what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now." I've heard and read several different opinions about how to split up the time, from 10%, 20%, 70% to 33%, 33%, 33%. I've also heard that you should only talk about alcoholism and then of course the exact opposite - that all elements of life and recovery should be discussed since it all can help people relate and see that recovery is possible for anyone. So that's no help.

And then of course, how much background information should I give? I haven't been to many speaker meetings, but in all of them that I have been to, the speaker talks about their childhood and how they grew up and what led to their drinking. Is that appropriate?

I guess my biggest question is whether or not I should discuss my depression and self-injury. I struggled with both of these before I ever took a drink, and have struggled with them in sobriety. In fact, I spent almost two months last year in a mental hospital after being suicidal.

I know it's not alcohol related, but it is recovery related. I feel like if I don't include it, it will seem like I'm sober now and everything is dandy. I want to give people hope, but I also want to be honest. Just because I'm sober doesn't mean life is going to be awesome all the time.

Oh, I don't know! Anyone have any ideas? Thanks for reading!

Coldfusion

I'm sure you'll do fine, Gal, and I think discussing the depression and self-injury is relevant.

CousinA

What my sponsor told me before my first time still holds today - "just tell the truth". You'll be fine.

-allan

sugarbear1

and maybe ask your higher power to give you the words someone in the meeting needs to hear

Recover12Step

Thanks gal220 + good luck

there is no right/wrong about what you share at meetings, speaker or otherwise,
you can never know what someone else needs to hear -

the most important thing is just to be you (also sometimes the most difficult!) and share your understanding of what your alcoholism means to you, at that point in time, whatever that includes or not !

skg

I can only share my experience, strength, and hope. What it was like when I was 'in my cups,' what happened to put me in AA, and what it is like now, having worked the steps and 'having had a spiritual awakening as THE RESULT of working' those steps.
When I did my first Speaker Meeting, I was preparing version 7.2 of my story (gotta have a good presentation, you know) and my sponsor got hold of me and asked, "Are you having trouble with the truth?" Made sense then and still rings true today. The foundation is Rigorous Honesty that I built sobriety upon, and it is there that I will remain true.
I still get wrapped up in myself future-tripping and 'whaddiffing' prior to sharing in front of a bunch of alcoholics, but I am there because God wants me there, not because I am auditioning. I've already got the part...
Stay out of the head by working with others, be thankful for the opportunity, and let God handle the rest. Position yourself in humble gratitude and start by saying something like:
"Hello, and thank you. My name is _____ and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is ___________, my homegroup is __________, my sponsor is ________. It is by the grace of God alone that I am here to tell you what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now...."

Or whatever. You're there to stay sober and carry the message.

aasharon90

I went to many many AA meetings or
you could call them classes just like
in school, to learn about my addiction
and it's affects on me and others
around me.

In the beginning, I was scared just like
countless others in recovery. Fears of
the unknown. Fears that paralyzed me.

However, I continued to go to learn
what I was suppose to do in recovery
and my life without drinking.

My sponsor often told me that they
needed listeners as well as speakers
in meetings and that when it was time
for me to speak that I would surely
know it.

I was one of those that sat quietly
for a long time, listening, absorbing,
learning before applying knowledge
to my everyday life.

I wasn't in any hurry to learn it all
and thus took me a long time to get
many of those important messages
in recovery.

I was never told what to do. It was
always suggested to me what would
be helpful in getting past many of those
obstacles in life holding me back. I did
listen to all those many suggestions and
applied them as best to my ability.

If I wasn't ready to do something, then
I wasn't. Just as a simple as that. I just
needed more learning. And so in order to
learn how others were speaking so eloquently
in meetings, I found out that they were
speaking from the heart and from honesty
and Faith.

I listened to many many Speaker Tapes,
cassette tapes back in the day that I had
ordered thru the mail and delivered every
2 weeks. I was soooo excited when a new
tape arrived so that I could listen and learn
for those many members who remained
sober for as long as they had.

I wanted what they had more than anything.
I wanted that freedom and happiness that
spoke volumns in their stories shared.

Today there are many speaker tapes
available for you to listen to online
and many of the answers of recovery
in the Big Book Of AA along with the
12 X 12 Step Book. It's all there for
you to listen, learn, absorb and apply
to your own recovery to build a strong
solid foundation to live upon for yrs to
come.

Take your time as you remain willing,
openminded and honest in ur life and
recovery. The promises are waiting for
you to achieve.

24hrsAday

i guess i was wondering why you have to do this "speaker meeting" thing? did your sponsor say you HAD to?

bbthumper

Just know that it is waaaaayyyy harder to to think about doing then it is actually doing it. It's your story. Don't be concerned with how others will react. Each of us has a story that has the ability to touch people. Our higher power will take care of who it touches. You just do your part. You'll do fine!

Tommyh

remember,they won`t get mad at you if you stop on time

tomsteve

First I'd suggest throwing out them percentages. That there is just crazy to break it down like that.
Do you want to do a drunkalogue to a bunch of people that know how to drink?
Or would you rather share the underlying problems?
Best speakers I hear are the ones that share what was going on inside. They share experiences of their life and how it effected them internally.
and it can help someone new( or maybe even with years) see there are others that have experienced what they have and that there is a solution.

WMJ1012

I think you just did it.

All they want is for you to be honest.
Tell them how you felt and feel and how far God has brought you.
You're still here and you're still willing.

I try to be in the recovery part halfway through.

Jfanagle

Over the years I have had the privilege to share my experiences as a grateful member of AA as a speaker, and when I have had a "conversation" with the other alcoholics in the room it has been pretty good. I have even had a few folks thank me after the meeting.

One time several years ago I was visiting Salt Lake City where my son and his family live and as he is in the program and has been a few years I was asked by some local AA folks if I would speak at a meeting he attends regularly. I accepted and proceeded to plan the best talk of my life to impress all my son's friends and of course my boy just what a wise alcoholic I am.

Worst "speech" I have ever heard, even I couldn't wait for me to be done and sit down.

Moral of the story, talk to the folks not at them and you will be just fine.

Good luck,
Jon

Gal220

Thanks everyone for the advice! I'm still so nervous and still don't really know what I'll say. The reason I'm doing it is because I was asked. It didn't seem like an unreasonable request, so I said yes because I was told not to say no to AA unless I had a really good reason. So we'll see how it goes tomorrow!

48heath

I wish you well for tomorrow Gal220.

skg

You'll do fine--seems you've already learned a great deal, Grasshoppah...
Have courage (fear that's said its prayers). Stay sober and hand it over.

courage2

You never can tell what someone needs to hear. Just be honest and say what feels right to you. I try to remember "experience strength & hope" or "what it was like, what happened, and how it is now," but sometimes something else comes out, and that's ok.

Good job doing service for other alcoholics!

dsmaxis10

I'm sure you'll do a good job it's your recovery story I did one before and did a bad job still embaresed about it hope all went well!!!

markz

Talk about What its like, How it was, what you did, what its like now.
And for petes sake, slap some steps in there, perferably in order.
Stories are good for people to relate and get to know you, but all stories are the same in the end, so step talk is always good.

Reminds me of a guy who I got sober with, he was giving his sponsee a card who had 39 yrs sobriety. He was the last one because we go youngest to oldest sobriety. He had about 25 minutes to kill, so the chair person said just that, you got 25 minutes. So he said "Well I was born in 1950 on a wednesday, it was hot and humid out in Southern Alabama, on a cloudy day........" (I dread those type of speaker meetings) he was being sarcastic, everyone laughed because this group is a Big Book and Step oriented group. He then went straight into how his sponsee had come into the rooms and was having DT's. He explained how he took his new sponsee through the steps. There were about 10 newcomers there so he spent a good 5 minutes on step 1, then 5 minutes on step 2. It was a kind hearted moment.

skg

Well? Did you stay sober and carry the message?