HeresHoping

Not sure if I am doing this right but here it goes. Its has been nearly 12yrs since her accident. She is now 30. She sustained a head injury. If you met her you would not know she had a head injury. I have noticed however she uses poor judgement and sometimes has no filter. She was in the hospital for 2 months. They told me that there would be a 50/50 chance she would become a drug addict. Not sure why they told me that but anyway she has been using drugs off and on for years. I have noticed as years go by she seems to get "better" for a lack of a better word. When I mean better there seems to be less and less drama and getting into trouble with the police/law. She will gain weight and become a lovely person. Then she will drop weight and become distant. This is when I know she is using drugs. Drug of choice is cocaine or crack. Not sure what she dabbling in now. She has her own apartment but recently has been evicted because of the company she keeps. She has had her door smashed in and a window broken in her apartment. Her furniture slashed. Do you think she has learned from this ? No. She is moving out the end of March. She has however agreed to move into the area where her brother lives. That is 5 hours from me. I just hope she is not a burden on her brother. Anyway, I have summed this up far too quickly but I needed to get the ball rolling. I would very much like to believe what comes out of her mouth but I know addicts are "Master Manipulators" She is good!! Most recent incident , I woke up to a authoritative knock on my door at 4:45am to a police man looking for my daughter as she placed a 911 call. Apparently she didn't get to finish that call as they came to me wondering if I knew where she was. It just so happened I did. Her so called "Friend" hurt her. She has a couple of bruises. Again, it's the company she keeps. We have warned her many times but she keeps going back for more it seems.
I don't know, its her life. She is 30. I do however see a psychologist to help me deal with the fact she does drugs.. Looking out there for advice and even to talk with people that have lived this rocky road.
Thanks.

Ann

Welcome, you will find a lot of parents of addicts here, I am one of them. My son has been missing for over a decade, lost in his addiction somewhere, and before he disappeared we went through years and years of hell, trying to save him.

The sad truth is, only they can help themselves. If a mama's love could save our children, there would be no mamas here.

What helped me find my balance again was to go to meetings of Al-anon, Nar-anon and/or CoDA. I found support from people who had been where I was and a new way of living that I follow even today, long after my son has been gone.

You are not alone, take a read around and know that we care and we are here to support you. Therapy is also a good idea and I am glad you are getting that.

It's a long road we walk, but we walk it togther here. I am glad you have joined us and hope you will feel the support and comfort we all feel here.

Hugs

chicory

HeresHoping, Welcome! You are not alone, in hoping for your adult child.

As Ann said, its a long road, but we don't have to be alone as we travel it. I am glad to hear that you are getting therapy for yourself.

I hope your daughter finds recovery, in every way.

stick around, others will be along to share with you, and to support you.
hugs
chicory

Whitewingeddove

Just piping in as another "mama" here. Sorry for your pain but glad you found SR. I'm fairly new to this forum myself, but just wanted to say "hello" and let you know you are not alone.

irisgardens

welcome--you are truly not alone--from one mama to another.

HeresHoping

So sorry to hear that your son is missing. It has to be very hard on you. Yes you are correct in saying "only they can help themselves" I spent some time yesterday with my daughter. We had lunch and a little shopping. I do believe she is in a cycle now where she has backed off the drugs. She was pleasant, thankful, and just plain nice to me. I love it when she is like this. I tell her how much I love her and proud that she is trying. She has a couple of friends now that are supporting each other. Recipe for disaster? Perhaps. Time will tell. I have always told her that her actions speak louder than words.
Oh wishful thinking on my part but in time I will know for sure.

Thanks for all the support. Yes we all need that. Again, I hope for the best where your son is concerned.
Hugs

Amysad

Here's hoping......I also am a Mother of an AD - her DOC is heroin and crack. Ann just posted a wonderful thread which was a great pick me up - I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers but for me, when I followed the 10 items on the thread Ann just posted, my life changed. I have spoken with my daughter 2x in 9 months - she is starting to take ownership oh her addiction. I can't say she is in recovery for sure because I've heard that before. But I can say that she is definitely changing and changing for the better. This happened because I stopped enabling PERIOD. I know that now. And I feel better and stronger and more able to help my Quality of life. I pray you'll find this too.

Twofish

Dear HeresHoping,
Welcome to SR! A safe supportive place you have found!!
I have two recovering daughters, one daughter has some
brain damage (brain bleeds) from a recent car/moped accident.
We know your pain and helplessness you feel. Ann is right, only
the addict can find their way out. We can beg, plead, bribe till
we are out of air, but, if your daughter isn't ready or willing to
be sober, to want it to admit she is an addict..there's nothing
more you can do, except...now listen
"Take care of yourself" get enough rest, eat well, get out of the house,
go for a short walk try not to fall
into that codependency trap(like I did) and get that support for YOU! Face
to face support..maybe a therapist to help you sort your feelings
and emotions out and meetings, Alanon etc to help you realize that you're NOT
alone. Don't be alone in this, it's too hard.
Be good to yourself.
I'll say a prayer for you and your daughter. We care and lean on
SR!
TF

TheWho

Hi HeresHoping, welcome to SR where you can find so many story about addiction.
Well I know how it is hard to have a family member that addicted to drugs. Just like the problem of our family about my brother. Here’s the story. I have a brother that addicted to drugs and he doesn't want to take any treatment maybe because of the influence of his friends. The thing is, we cannot find any rehab program here on our home town that could help him recover. Then a family member who is living in California suggested that there a lot of drug rehab centers to choose from and my brother should consider moving out. This way, my brother can avoid any temptations and the people that had contributed to his addiction.
So I have done some research if rehabs in California could really offer the best treatment. Thankfully, we found a rehab that can help him recover. As of now he’s on treatment and hopefully he can get clean soon.

Freedom1990

Mother of a 37-year-old AD here. She's been at it since age 15. Lost custody of her kids, been incarcerated numerous times, and the list goes on and on.

You most definitely are not alone. Gentle hugs to you.

TheWho

So I'm back again here wanting to update others regarding my brother's condition. Today we received a news that his drug/Alcohol treatment in Rehabilitation Center will be finish next week. His battle from addiction is over and finally, he can live a sober life again. This is a good start..

Martynez

@TheWho that's a good news for your brother and to your family. The better services an Addiction Rehab give, the higher possibility they can help someone recover. A little more step for him and he'll be there, advance congratulation to your brother's achievement.