just lost one for the gipper
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 3
just lost one for the gipper
Oooops, in my haste to post quickly, I did it on the wrong board. I just posted on the general recovery board. I hope I didn't offend anyone.
At any rate, I found this board a few days ago while trying to find local listings for al-anon meetings. I have been to a few AA meetings with my BF alcoholic, and found that I needed help myself. I could not find local listings, but found a site that is going to send them to me.
Well, I am not sure I will even make it to one now, as my BF just called to say that not only was he not coming for dinner that I had planned, but he was ending the relationship as I am too good for him, and he cannot continue to hurt me while he continues to use.
He cannot seem to put more than 48 hours together before he looses control. He does not reach out before he drinks, he just does. So now I sit here, without him, and should feel some relief that he cares as much as he does, but instead I feel HORRIBLE. He is such a wonderful person, and this is such a horrible disease/condition, whatever you choose to call it.
This really STINKS, I want to use stronger language, but will refrain. I mean my god, I didn't even get to my FIRST meeting!
Anyone?...
Marie
At any rate, I found this board a few days ago while trying to find local listings for al-anon meetings. I have been to a few AA meetings with my BF alcoholic, and found that I needed help myself. I could not find local listings, but found a site that is going to send them to me.
Well, I am not sure I will even make it to one now, as my BF just called to say that not only was he not coming for dinner that I had planned, but he was ending the relationship as I am too good for him, and he cannot continue to hurt me while he continues to use.
He cannot seem to put more than 48 hours together before he looses control. He does not reach out before he drinks, he just does. So now I sit here, without him, and should feel some relief that he cares as much as he does, but instead I feel HORRIBLE. He is such a wonderful person, and this is such a horrible disease/condition, whatever you choose to call it.
This really STINKS, I want to use stronger language, but will refrain. I mean my god, I didn't even get to my FIRST meeting!
Anyone?...
Marie
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Hello Marie!
Welcome to the recovery forum. Just because the alcoholic in your life chooses not to be in your life at present is no reason to stay away from your alanon meeting. This IS affecting you. You might not even realize how much until you listen to some other people talking about it awhile. Anyway, you will certainly be welcome, and you don't need any excuse to be there. Just as we're very happy to have you here!
Hugs,
Smoke
Welcome to the recovery forum. Just because the alcoholic in your life chooses not to be in your life at present is no reason to stay away from your alanon meeting. This IS affecting you. You might not even realize how much until you listen to some other people talking about it awhile. Anyway, you will certainly be welcome, and you don't need any excuse to be there. Just as we're very happy to have you here!
Hugs,
Smoke
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 175
Originally posted by ducky:
Oooops, in my haste to post quickly, I did it on the wrong board. I just posted on the general recovery board. I hope I didn't offend anyone.
At any rate, I found this board a few days ago while trying to find local listings for al-anon meetings. I have been to a few AA meetings with my BF alcoholic, and found that I needed help myself. I could not find local listings, but found a site that is going to send them to me.
Well, I am not sure I will even make it to one now, as my BF just called to say that not only was he not coming for dinner that I had planned, but he was ending the relationship as I am too good for him, and he cannot continue to hurt me while he continues to use.
He cannot seem to put more than 48 hours together before he looses control. He does not reach out before he drinks, he just does. So now I sit here, without him, and should feel some relief that he cares as much as he does, but instead I feel HORRIBLE. He is such a wonderful person, and this is such a horrible disease/condition, whatever you choose to call it.
This really STINKS, I want to use stronger language, but will refrain. I mean my god, I didn't even get to my FIRST meeting!
Anyone?...
Marie
Oooops, in my haste to post quickly, I did it on the wrong board. I just posted on the general recovery board. I hope I didn't offend anyone.
At any rate, I found this board a few days ago while trying to find local listings for al-anon meetings. I have been to a few AA meetings with my BF alcoholic, and found that I needed help myself. I could not find local listings, but found a site that is going to send them to me.
Well, I am not sure I will even make it to one now, as my BF just called to say that not only was he not coming for dinner that I had planned, but he was ending the relationship as I am too good for him, and he cannot continue to hurt me while he continues to use.
He cannot seem to put more than 48 hours together before he looses control. He does not reach out before he drinks, he just does. So now I sit here, without him, and should feel some relief that he cares as much as he does, but instead I feel HORRIBLE. He is such a wonderful person, and this is such a horrible disease/condition, whatever you choose to call it.
This really STINKS, I want to use stronger language, but will refrain. I mean my god, I didn't even get to my FIRST meeting!
Anyone?...
Marie
After being narried to two A's I would go to any lenghth to find out why I am drawn to them...It is a disease...but I can tell you it has only brought me pain...and more pain over the years. Find a counselor, do anything you have to save you from being drawn in. I would have to say maybe you are lucky that he has said he is moving on...
Kitty
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 3
Thanks to all who replied so far. I am glad I did this. It was only moments after he called that I did. I felt a terrible need to talk with some folks who were like "me".
I am, in some ways, thankful that he has taken the burden off my shoulders, but it still hurts. He is such a wonderful person sober. I have great friends, and just spoke with one for a couple of hours actually. She had no idea what had been going on in my life as he had escalated so quickly it was horrifying. In the matter of months he became so out of control and we (I) began to deline invitations out with friends, etc. I started to feel isolated. Babysitting him, and making sure he didn't drink.
What prompted him finally to seek help is my conviction not to allow him to bring me down. Well, that and the OUI he got. God, this is so painful. I have known addicts of one sort or another all my life, and never associated with them,... that was their problem... why don't they just stop. How did this happen to me?
Going to the AA meetings with him was the best thing that I could have done. I have a better understanding of how this "thing" "attacks" people now. He has worked the program before and was sober for 6 years, so I had (perhaps still have) hope for his recovery.
I am thankful to all of you, and for this board. It has helped me through a rough night. I am also thankful that he love(s) or lov(ed) me enough not to put me through anymore. Is this the thinking of a rational person?
My girlfriend also suggested that I still go to a meeting when I get the information. I just wish I had it tonight... or earlier for that matter. Perhaps I do still need it.
Thank you all, and god bless. You've really helped. Keep 'em coming if you feel so inspired.
Marie
I am, in some ways, thankful that he has taken the burden off my shoulders, but it still hurts. He is such a wonderful person sober. I have great friends, and just spoke with one for a couple of hours actually. She had no idea what had been going on in my life as he had escalated so quickly it was horrifying. In the matter of months he became so out of control and we (I) began to deline invitations out with friends, etc. I started to feel isolated. Babysitting him, and making sure he didn't drink.
What prompted him finally to seek help is my conviction not to allow him to bring me down. Well, that and the OUI he got. God, this is so painful. I have known addicts of one sort or another all my life, and never associated with them,... that was their problem... why don't they just stop. How did this happen to me?
Going to the AA meetings with him was the best thing that I could have done. I have a better understanding of how this "thing" "attacks" people now. He has worked the program before and was sober for 6 years, so I had (perhaps still have) hope for his recovery.
I am thankful to all of you, and for this board. It has helped me through a rough night. I am also thankful that he love(s) or lov(ed) me enough not to put me through anymore. Is this the thinking of a rational person?
My girlfriend also suggested that I still go to a meeting when I get the information. I just wish I had it tonight... or earlier for that matter. Perhaps I do still need it.
Thank you all, and god bless. You've really helped. Keep 'em coming if you feel so inspired.
Marie
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: North America
Posts: 362
Marie,
First of all Welcome! I am new in this as well, except for my BF/A, and I have been together 8 years. We also have a child together. He drinks daily and smokes pot and sometimes crack. Coming here and finding this site, as well as going to meetings has helped sooo much. There is a ton of useful information, just reading through the old posts is insightful as well, if you have the time.
We are affected by the using/drinking. It is a fact that for every 1 person drinking or using it effects 4 other people near to them. Spouses/Family Members. It is difficult, but important you get all the information you need. You can come here as much as you like, it really helps. We care.
Take care of yourself.
Love,
bonbon
First of all Welcome! I am new in this as well, except for my BF/A, and I have been together 8 years. We also have a child together. He drinks daily and smokes pot and sometimes crack. Coming here and finding this site, as well as going to meetings has helped sooo much. There is a ton of useful information, just reading through the old posts is insightful as well, if you have the time.
We are affected by the using/drinking. It is a fact that for every 1 person drinking or using it effects 4 other people near to them. Spouses/Family Members. It is difficult, but important you get all the information you need. You can come here as much as you like, it really helps. We care.
Take care of yourself.
Love,
bonbon
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Peoria, IL USA
Posts: 105
Ducky-Welcome. Just consider the General Forum as an open meeting where anyone is welcome. If you want to discuss feelings from the anon side you found the place. If you want to discuss ducks go to the naranon page. (inside LOL) These boards are all good folks just looking for the key to serenity in our lifes. Feel free to post your thoughts and feelings. Don't ever feel they are wrong because they are YOUR thoughts and feelings and you are legit in having them.
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