Day 5 and just writing cause it helps me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 128
Day 5 and just writing cause it helps me
I am on Day 5 after a relapse and I am very grateful.
I have also been really sick with the flu and could not go to an AA meeting.
Here is what is crazy....I had 102 degree fever and I feel guilty for not "showing up and suiting up." But I could not get out of bed. Now I am doing the sick thinking of people pleasing...like it makes sense to show up and pass along the germs in the terrible flu season.
In addition, I have realized the extent to which addiction of all sorts has taken my family down. My 83-year old mother will have to sell her house because my siblings stole money from her. They haven't paid the property tax up and have not kept up with her prescription drug plan, which includes meds for breast cancer.
I have given everyone the best financial advice possible...sell house, invest the money and size down.
My daughter who is in recovery in Dallas called today and we are going to work out a plan for me to move back there.
It is so painful to have discovered the truth about my family that I can hardly bear it. My brother and sister/husband can not support themselves at all, so they will have to sell, move mom and themselves and use the money to continue to live off of her.
Please cheer me on in saving myself. I will have to live in a very cheap apartment but it is my only chance to stay sober and get out of this toxic environment. My daughter is in recovery too and wants me to live close to her.
I have gotten financial advice, ministerial advice and therapist advice. I am new to the AA group 20 miles from the town I live in and I know to go there to stay sober but not bring personal problems into the meeting.
I am again grateful for sobriety today and thank you again for letting me need you for being there
I have also been really sick with the flu and could not go to an AA meeting.
Here is what is crazy....I had 102 degree fever and I feel guilty for not "showing up and suiting up." But I could not get out of bed. Now I am doing the sick thinking of people pleasing...like it makes sense to show up and pass along the germs in the terrible flu season.
In addition, I have realized the extent to which addiction of all sorts has taken my family down. My 83-year old mother will have to sell her house because my siblings stole money from her. They haven't paid the property tax up and have not kept up with her prescription drug plan, which includes meds for breast cancer.
I have given everyone the best financial advice possible...sell house, invest the money and size down.
My daughter who is in recovery in Dallas called today and we are going to work out a plan for me to move back there.
It is so painful to have discovered the truth about my family that I can hardly bear it. My brother and sister/husband can not support themselves at all, so they will have to sell, move mom and themselves and use the money to continue to live off of her.
Please cheer me on in saving myself. I will have to live in a very cheap apartment but it is my only chance to stay sober and get out of this toxic environment. My daughter is in recovery too and wants me to live close to her.
I have gotten financial advice, ministerial advice and therapist advice. I am new to the AA group 20 miles from the town I live in and I know to go there to stay sober but not bring personal problems into the meeting.
I am again grateful for sobriety today and thank you again for letting me need you for being there
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
I'm sorry things have been so tough for you but well done on day 5!! I'm also a 'people pleaser' but there's a point at which you have to put yourself first or you won't have the reserves to be there for anyone else anyway.
I agree it helps to get things out on here. Do what you have to do to stay well and god luck x
I agree it helps to get things out on here. Do what you have to do to stay well and god luck x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
Beach. You're doing great! You need to save yourself right now because you really can't help others while your sick from this disease. Please take care of yourself right now and get yourself into a good supportive environment. Love yourself as you are so worth it.
Sending good mojo your way
Sending good mojo your way
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
I wouldn't give a second thought to pleasing people in your AA group at the moment. Take care of your flu.
Moving to be near your daughter, who is also in recovery and wants you to move nearby sounds like a very good idea. Yes, moving is challenging, but you can do it. I made a long-distance move in my first week of recovery and it was a really positive step and I know it helped my recovery.
Moving to be near your daughter, who is also in recovery and wants you to move nearby sounds like a very good idea. Yes, moving is challenging, but you can do it. I made a long-distance move in my first week of recovery and it was a really positive step and I know it helped my recovery.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Congrats on 5 days, beach, and hugs to you for your family situation.
A cheap apartment may not be your dream home but a clear conscience goes a long, long way to contentment, happiness and a good night's sleep.
Hope that you are over the flu soon. It seems that this has been a particularly bad flu year given the inadequacies of this year's vaccine.
A cheap apartment may not be your dream home but a clear conscience goes a long, long way to contentment, happiness and a good night's sleep.
Hope that you are over the flu soon. It seems that this has been a particularly bad flu year given the inadequacies of this year's vaccine.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
You have your daughter, she loves you and she wants her dad near her.
You could get to see her everyday.
I would love dearly to see my dad everyday. My daughter would love to see her granddad everyday.
I would love to live somewhere simple.
Thats worth more than any money or any big fancy house in my opinion.
You have a lot to be happy about and something positive to be excited about.
Fight the flu and get packing your bags.
I wish you the best xx
You could get to see her everyday.
I would love dearly to see my dad everyday. My daughter would love to see her granddad everyday.
I would love to live somewhere simple.
Thats worth more than any money or any big fancy house in my opinion.
You have a lot to be happy about and something positive to be excited about.
Fight the flu and get packing your bags.
I wish you the best xx
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