Findingtheway

Hi All.

So here i go at yet ANOTHER attempt. I've had months of sobriety before. 2 months once..This last go ALMOST got me to 3.

So i know the good stuff comes. But after my latest setback...I'm 8 days sober again. But i'm finding it hard to focus on work tasks.

I work in IT/Computer support...So the boss expects alot from me. And usually i can handle it quite well.

Today is well..Off. I'm having trouble keeping my tasks in-line. I'm having MASSIVE ANXIETY that the boss will come by to check on me and ask how Task A, B, C are doing?

I find myself counting hours until i can leave. But it ONLY rebuilds the anxiety because i'll be back here tomorrow and i feel like the process will repeat.

I know this will pass. But this is a way for me to process the thoughts/feelings. I went to AA during the lunch hour and it helped to ground me a bit. But i'm back to work now and AGAIN it feels like i can't focus.

Bleh...This is tiresome. NOT going to drink today or tonight though.

I've made that commitment. I've talked to my sponsor about this too.

I'm doing daily AA attendance. That's what i was told to do.

So that's what i'm doing. Still freaked out by this.

I leave control of this problem to AA. Tell me what to do and i'll do it.

Freaked out...

jryan19982

just take it one at a time... you can also tell him/her that you are not feeling that well today, so you might be taking a little more time than usual to do this...

terribob

The mind does go all over the place in the early days...every time. Just focus as best as you can and it will get easier. Since you've been through this before you probably already know that.

SoberLeigh

Have you tried meditation, Finding?

If you start practicing it in your down time and get comfortable with it, you may be able to pull out a technique or two at work to help you focus.

Rooting for you, Finding.

keithj

I'm just guessing from your join date on here that in nearly 3 years of having some interest in being sober, you haven't been able to accumulate any significant time.

AA's program of recovery is the 12 Steps, plain and simple. It's a suggested program, but it is the only program AA has to offer. Simply going to meetings did not keep me sober. When I worked the 12 Steps with all the desperation I could muster, everything changed for me, and I haven't had to concern myself with the drink problem for a number of years.

Soberwolf

Hang in there Finding have you tried breathing exercises to help calm down here try this

A breathing exercise that calms panic attacks.

I hope you feel calmer shortly brother

Findingtheway

Hello Keithj.

In the 3 years I've been trying I've had...Various periods/attempts at sobriety....Just some are listed below.

2 Treatment center stays (Both 1 month. Completed both)

3 Months sober (With just attempting to stay sober on my own.)

2 months sober (With help of SR, and limited AA attendance)

3 months sober (With help of SR, and a more committed approach to AA, getting a sponsor, going to meetings...This was my FIRST real attempt at AA working the steps. I worked with him up to STEP EIGHT.

And then i drank over the most trivial things just before the end of the year.

There have been multiple scary incidents/falls etc mixed in...But i won't post them all here.

I'm only 33. But it feels like i have some resistance to allowing the AA program to be experienced to it's full extent. I am trying to work through this *block* with my sponsor. I'm clinging to AA now. I am listening finally.

I am TRYING. One day at a time.

8 days sober today. I DO not WANT to drink TODAY.

courage2

It's hard to work -- the first go around with attempting sobriety, I was supremely unproductive for a long, long time, like basically the whole year -- there was a lot of covering for myself and I was quite depressed.

The second time, right off the bat I admitted that I couldn't do it without more outside help than just AA and SR. I went to a clinical social worker and in the course of talking to him I realized that in the condition I was in, and facing another long period of possible unproductivity in early recovery, I was going to have to take a leave of absence or I'd end up hospitalized against my will or in rehab -- none of which I wanted. So I saw a shrink and the medication I was prescribed really helped me collect myself well enough to work productively in a relatively short time.

Work is very important to me. If work is important to you, and you've seriously accepted that drinking is no longer an option, then you need to address your work problem seriously. Have you talked to your sponsor? They don't talk about work much in AA, but it's a problem for a lot of us. Good luck and let us know how you're doing!

PurpleKnight

1 day at a time!! Day 8 is fantastic, but tomorrow keep doing what you're doing!!

When I got Sober I went to work the next week and needed to focus on plenty of fresh air, cut back on the coffee, eat regularly, have something sugary mid afternoon, try to get some sleep at night, more hot showers, try to relax, some exercise in the evening!!

You can do this!!