tate9685

My 19 year old daughter who has a 10 month old with an incarcerated man who has 5 kids by different women has just told me that she is pregnant by another man who is married and has 4 kids and his wife is pregnant with number 5. Oh, he was put in jail today also...see the pattern? You can't make this up. I think sobriety is not in the cards for me. I really must have screwed her up as a parent and now.....this is too much for me.

Soberwolf

Hang in there Tate the best way to be there for her is to stay sober & support her

try this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

Sorry this must be very stressful

ScottFromWI

Drinking won't solve anything Tate, in fact it will most likely just make your life more miserable. And it definitely won't help your daughter, her choices are her own and beyond your control.

tate9685

I want to run away. Move. This is crazy. I grew up in instability but it didn't look like this. We were civilized upper middle class crazy. One mom and dad married 3 children all equally screwed up by the same mom and dad. This is insane and so wrong. What
has happened to our society?

ScottFromWI

Society always has its problems, sorry you are going through so much. Try and remember that you need to take care of yourself first before you can help others. Coming here and asking for help rather than drinking is a great way to do just that.

tate9685

I'm drinking now

tate9685

Ok. So how do I take care of myself? How? By raising 2 illegitimate kids? While working full time and being 50? Because my daughter is obviously not concerned with raising them just producing them.

Nonsensical

How you doing today Tate?

doggonecarl

By not drinking and stopping the cycle of craziness right now.

SoberLeigh

(((Tate)))); I am so sorry that you are experiencing this turmoil.

I hope that you can stop drinking so that you can deal with all of this with a clear mind.

We are here for you.

Nofearnobeer

Tate!

#1 , quit blaming yourself... 19 year olds have a mind of their own...Trust me , I've been there..I think we all have...

#2 , Hurting yourself further will not help anyone , especially the 2 new arrivals..Which are children , nonetheless , regardless of who the father is..

#3 , Turn it around and make a seemingly insane situation a positive moment ..

You have the power to do this...Alcohol will not help the outcome for you , your daughter , or your new grandchildren...

You can do this!

Nofearnobeer

//

On a side note , this is the time you throw your hands up and Thank God for 2 beautiful grandchildren , regardless of how they came to be...There's a whole world you can show them... Lift yer head up..

Gonnachange

Hope you're in a better frame of mind today. Drinking is not going to help you, your daughter, your grandchild, or grandchild to be.

Do what's necessary to right your ship and you'll be in a much better position to make good decisions about your daughter and her situation.

Not downplaying any of this, but before you can truly help others you need to help yourself.

SoberLeigh

Tate, you are hope for those babies. Someday they may say, "Well, my Mom was 19 when I was born; my Dad was in prison; but there was Tate - there was Tate . . "

Nonsensical

Your daughter seems to have an obsession for doing things that feel good in the short term even though they are bad for her in the long term.

I did the same thing for many years, although my obsession came in a bottle.

Perhaps you can work on that together.

CAPTAINZING2000

Would your daughter consider putting the baby up for adoption?

FreeOwl

I can promise you one thing for sure in all of this;

getting drunk won't change any of it.

I'm sure if feels overwhelming. That's a lot to take on and I'll bet it full-on sucks.

You'll be far more capable of being the best you can for yourself, your daughter and your life if you stay sober.