Serper2014

I'm so lonely tonight... I guess I never realized how much drinking was a coping strategy for being lonely...I feel like I'm feeling lonliness for the first time since I was a kid... I'm single and I live alone... I know I can always work on joining a group or scheduling stuff for evenings so I keep busy but what do I do right now??? I just wanna drink a six pack and smoke 6 cigs and start again tomorrow...

Tonks

Hit up that chatroom, there's peeps in there. I'll pop in as well in a few.

Drinking won't cure the loneliness. Pretty sure we all tried that before.

ScottFromWI

Chatroom would be a great idea. Or do some reading and posting here. You could hit a meeting locally too, I found being around other in the same boat as me was very helpful.

Serper2014

I'm in the chatroom

mecanix

Responding to loneliness by drinking isn't how most people deal with loneliness .

I made a study of norms and they go to sports meetings , running , cycling , evening classes , cookery , painting , drawing , outward bounds , geo-cacheing , sing in choirs , hiking , camping , charity work with animals or humans ?

From why i understand from AA members here they can have quite an active sober scene so getting involved with that ?

Lots to do , lots to try ,

Take care , m

MelindaFlowers

Hey Serper,

I sure can relate to those feelings of loneliness and boredom. I always used to drink through those nights to "check out." But how will tomorrow really be any different? Or next Tuesday? Or two months from now? We will always have these nights but we can't always run to the drinking.

There is never going to be a perfect or easy time to quit. I used to always live in "tomorrow" but tomorrow ended up being the same and I would drink the next night as well.

Because there is never going to be an easy or perfect time to quit, why not now? It's get easier, even just a tiny bit, each day we don't drink. If you drink tonight you will regret it in the morning and then those feelings of self-loathing will make you want to drink tomorrow night and the next and the next. That was the case with me. Make tonight your night to stop.

The "tomorrow" thinking was insanity for me. I thought I would quit "tomorrow" for years.

Callmesteve

It can be a big coping mechanism. I wish I had words of advice, but I'm new to recovery. Hang in there.

IOAA2

Hi.

For me and many others there are many advantages of AA meetings. A big one is being among people who understand each other and help us stay sober. In my country side setting there are meetings to keep us busy 4 times a day within 6 miles. Getting active also helps getting involved with others and going out for a snack after a meeting is another way.

BE WELL

FreeOwl

Hang in there. I remember those feelings.....

With more sober time, I began to find the reason for 'loneliness' was mostly in my own inability to be with and love myself.

As that has evolved, what used to be 'lonely' is now more 'pleasant solitude'.

If you dig into sobriety and work a program, get to know yourself, come to let go of shame and hurt, develop empathy for yourself and move beyond the things about you that unsettle you - you will find that alone isn't lonely.... It is healthy.

Soberwolf

Hope your feeling better Serper

Drinking is the not the answer you can pm me anytime bud

SoberLeigh

Great post, mecanix. As alcoholics, we need to change the way we think, the way we react, and to some extent the way we live our lives. It is so important to get out OF ourselves and broaden our interests.

So much of my drinking was a reaction to a feeling:

Sad - okay, wine
Angry - okay, wine.
Happy - oh boy, wine.
Lonely - definitely, wine.

I had to turn around my responses:

Sad - take a walk.
Angry - take a warm bath.
Happy - turn on some music and dance like a fool.
Lonely - read.

Who would have thought that recovery would involve such a personal overhaul.

countrygirl2014

I filled my extra time with AA meetings. I strongly suggest getting involved with AA or something similar. And when they hand you a list of phone numbers of other people, use it! Those people with some sober time really know how to get you out of your own head...trust me. In a little over three months I went from having no friends to a handful of people I genuinely love and talk to them at least once a day.

Jennifer

usetobeabrave

I feel the same exact way, im 46 days in on sobriety and im feeling bored as hell. The loneliness you are feeling is not from being away from people. Its the drink! And your broken mind thats tricking you. Fight this, we are in transition right now. Be selfish in taking care of yourself. Remember, you are not alone