What Do You Know Now?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
What Do You Know Now?
I thought about this on a run this morning and thought others might find some value in it.
What do you know at this point in your sobriety that you wish you knew the day you began your journey?
My answer:
(1) Committing to being alcohol free was significantly easier than attempting to moderate- in its many and varied forms.
(2) Recognizing that being alcohol free is a 'choice' rather than a 'punishment' is powerful.
What do you know at this point in your sobriety that you wish you knew the day you began your journey?
My answer:
(1) Committing to being alcohol free was significantly easier than attempting to moderate- in its many and varied forms.
(2) Recognizing that being alcohol free is a 'choice' rather than a 'punishment' is powerful.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Nice thread ultramarathoner. I thought I'd share too.
1. Life without alcohol is much better. You don't have to be angry, depressed or feel gross about yourself after drinking any longer.
2. Make a plan to deal with the cravings, whether it is going for a walk, going to a store, posting on a thread, or to the movies. I found making a plan critical to my success, especially early on.
3. The SR chat meetings are an amazing resource. I have learned so much from going to those meetings. They're on Tuesdays and Fridays at 8p CST.
1. Life without alcohol is much better. You don't have to be angry, depressed or feel gross about yourself after drinking any longer.
2. Make a plan to deal with the cravings, whether it is going for a walk, going to a store, posting on a thread, or to the movies. I found making a plan critical to my success, especially early on.
3. The SR chat meetings are an amazing resource. I have learned so much from going to those meetings. They're on Tuesdays and Fridays at 8p CST.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
*There was never going to be the "perfect" time to quit. And I would only ever be able to quit "right now" in this moment.
*My brain was more messed up than I'd thought while messed up, lol. Uh, yeah. How could I have known?
*Nothing magical happens when you quit.
*The easier part was to quit. The harder part is grappling with creating a life.
*My brain was more messed up than I'd thought while messed up, lol. Uh, yeah. How could I have known?
*Nothing magical happens when you quit.
*The easier part was to quit. The harder part is grappling with creating a life.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
That it really is worth it
That although it is hard at times it does get easier
That life really would be 100x better than I ever imagined it could be and would change in so many ways for the better
That I would change so fundamentally and become a much better,stronger person
That my depression would cease and my anxiety would ease to very manageable levels
That there is nothing better than waking up sober
That although it is hard at times it does get easier
That life really would be 100x better than I ever imagined it could be and would change in so many ways for the better
That I would change so fundamentally and become a much better,stronger person
That my depression would cease and my anxiety would ease to very manageable levels
That there is nothing better than waking up sober
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
If I could go back and give myself a bit of info it would be this: Relax, this is going to be a long process and you don't have to figure it out all at once. Just keep working one little piece of the puzzle and don't try to figure out where this is going. Don't forget to laugh!
Mostly I am glad I didn't know just how traumatic this was going to be. Dealing with it little by little was doable. If I would have seen how invasive and huge this was all at once I probably would have freaked.
Mostly I am glad I didn't know just how traumatic this was going to be. Dealing with it little by little was doable. If I would have seen how invasive and huge this was all at once I probably would have freaked.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: northern AZ
Posts: 796
Well, two things I guess. First, only alcoholics have blackouts. I had one the first time I drank at 17 showing how hard I hit it. Second, the amount or frequency of my drinking was directly proportional to how much anger/fear I had buried somewhere inside.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Originally Posted by Ultramarathoner 
What do you know at this point in your sobriety that you wish you knew the day you began your journey?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,336
Life would not be perfect once sober, but my ability to look at problems clearly and not respond emotionally, would be vastly improved.
How uplifting it feels to let go of the guilt and shame, my drinking caused me.
How uplifting it feels to let go of the guilt and shame, my drinking caused me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
this is a subject i love. i dont really find it constructive to do the "if only i knew" exercise, but i reflect often on the flat-out surprises that sobriety has brought.
when i went clean, it was as result of an interventional type job loss. i went to rehab because it was the right thing to do, but i had my doubts.
* i doubted the wisdom of "going all the way" and immediately started bargaining. maybe i could quit the pills and drink in relative moderation. maybe i could just get drunk once a month. maybe i could get by if i ramped up my daily marijuana dosage. maybe i could quit drinking and get a substantial increase in my (legal) benzo script and escape as needed with that. etc... -well out of defeat, and with some advice from my counselor, i dropped everything in a "what the hell could it hurt" kind of gesture. i told myself after rehab (outpatient) i would "fix" myself up as i saw fit. then after about two months, i realized i didnt NEED any of it. i had never told anyone out loud, but thought i would always have to self-medicate because of my sensitive, nervous nature. WRONG. i was more alive than i had been in years. and becoming more resilient.
* i thought that the fun was over, and maybe i would have to be sneaky to indulge in the enjoyment i got from drinking, etc. -wrong again! now i enjoy things just as much and notice all the details. and remember! i had medicated myself just long enough to forget all about this. and, god, the subtleties of just being able to pay attention!
* i worried that i would become a party-pooping bore. -it really took some courage to admit that this is what i had become WHILE getting ripped all the time. i still dont like to think about it, but i was running out of inspiration and sounded like a broken record most of the time when i fancied myself "witty". now my conversations get interesting and intimate for real. not just because my personal chemistry experiment is peaking.
* i thought i would live in a perpetual state of "missing out". no magic for me anymore! i would be bound by a desire i could not fulfill again. -this one threw me for a loop. i realized that the state of "missing out" was what i was leaving! while indulging in my chemicals, the last ten years had just flew right by me. (i know time seems to speed up for all of us, but my last decade was a string of hangovers with occasional glimmers of enjoyment interpersed between) once i really grasped the fact that life is better (like really.) for me this way, cravings and desire became an occasional fleeting nuisance.
* the most recent surprise (im at about 10 months sober) is that im pretty much ok with myself and the self-improvements i feel i need to make are totally doable! -yes i have regrets. but i am still intact. i am capable of contributing. i am capable of deep love. i have gratitude an appreciation of the moments ive been granted. (this is opinion, so if your program tells you i am spiritually broken, or a deviant schemer by nature, we just have to disagree. i am a whole man who dug a hole).
anyways...not alot of negatives to report. yes, there is effort and difficulty. those are not negative things though. this is an endeavor im proud of. something was broke and i (with help) am repairing it! PARTY!
if i could go back in time and tell the old me these things, i probably couldnt make the sale. so i consider myself lucky.
when i went clean, it was as result of an interventional type job loss. i went to rehab because it was the right thing to do, but i had my doubts.
* i doubted the wisdom of "going all the way" and immediately started bargaining. maybe i could quit the pills and drink in relative moderation. maybe i could just get drunk once a month. maybe i could get by if i ramped up my daily marijuana dosage. maybe i could quit drinking and get a substantial increase in my (legal) benzo script and escape as needed with that. etc... -well out of defeat, and with some advice from my counselor, i dropped everything in a "what the hell could it hurt" kind of gesture. i told myself after rehab (outpatient) i would "fix" myself up as i saw fit. then after about two months, i realized i didnt NEED any of it. i had never told anyone out loud, but thought i would always have to self-medicate because of my sensitive, nervous nature. WRONG. i was more alive than i had been in years. and becoming more resilient.
* i thought that the fun was over, and maybe i would have to be sneaky to indulge in the enjoyment i got from drinking, etc. -wrong again! now i enjoy things just as much and notice all the details. and remember! i had medicated myself just long enough to forget all about this. and, god, the subtleties of just being able to pay attention!
* i worried that i would become a party-pooping bore. -it really took some courage to admit that this is what i had become WHILE getting ripped all the time. i still dont like to think about it, but i was running out of inspiration and sounded like a broken record most of the time when i fancied myself "witty". now my conversations get interesting and intimate for real. not just because my personal chemistry experiment is peaking.
* i thought i would live in a perpetual state of "missing out". no magic for me anymore! i would be bound by a desire i could not fulfill again. -this one threw me for a loop. i realized that the state of "missing out" was what i was leaving! while indulging in my chemicals, the last ten years had just flew right by me. (i know time seems to speed up for all of us, but my last decade was a string of hangovers with occasional glimmers of enjoyment interpersed between) once i really grasped the fact that life is better (like really.) for me this way, cravings and desire became an occasional fleeting nuisance.
* the most recent surprise (im at about 10 months sober) is that im pretty much ok with myself and the self-improvements i feel i need to make are totally doable! -yes i have regrets. but i am still intact. i am capable of contributing. i am capable of deep love. i have gratitude an appreciation of the moments ive been granted. (this is opinion, so if your program tells you i am spiritually broken, or a deviant schemer by nature, we just have to disagree. i am a whole man who dug a hole).
anyways...not alot of negatives to report. yes, there is effort and difficulty. those are not negative things though. this is an endeavor im proud of. something was broke and i (with help) am repairing it! PARTY!
if i could go back in time and tell the old me these things, i probably couldnt make the sale. so i consider myself lucky.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
I failed so many times cause I just couldn't stand the anxiety of early sobriety. I wish I had known that it DOES get better, the longer you're sober. I failed so many times and was beginning to think I was doomed to fail. I wasn't.
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