Katchie

Some of this stuff I wouldn't know if it hit me between the eyes..my AH got another $$ card in the mail and he said he had been waiting on that bonus from his company. Now, those of u who read my last thread saw that he received one and gave it inappropriately to one of our sons. So I asked what he was talking about because he already got a card from his bosses with money and he didn't remember it so I had to fill him in o. All of those events. He said nothing. Is that what a blackout is?

hopeful4

When my X would blackout he would do that, talk and jabber then have no idea what went on. It's quite scary. He also has a really terrible memory about just general things. I now text only w/him b/c he will say we did not discuss something and really not remember that we did.

lillamy

Could be a blackout. Could also be a blatant lie.

AnvilheadII

blackouts occur during drinking...well actually after. it's when you get blindass drunk and then when trying to recollect the events, draw a blank. periods of time that have no recall, or only very fuzzy bits.

if he was sober, then no, not a blackout. could be a case of CRS (Can't Remember Sh1t) OR could be a very convenient excuse. What are you talking about, i don't remember THAT!

from what you have shared, your AH is shifty, sly and sneaky....so my vote is on he knows EXACTLY what he is doing and is pulling one over on you. I'd start to get concerned on where these gift cards are coming from......

Katchie

Im wondering that because the night he gave the $$ card to my son I thought he had been drinking, but like always I second guess myself. I don't know why I do that to myself. Now he doesn't seem to remember the goings on of that evening.

FlippedRHalo

At the ripe old age of 30 years old, my ex seemed to truly suffer from real memory loss. We'd have a conversations about things and he'd bring it up again and again like we'd never had the conversation. It made me extremely worried for him. I think long term drinking affects the memory in a pretty significant way. It could be about anything - he'd be genuinely clueless that we'd ever discussed it. Important or not important. Scary stuff.

marie1960

sound like a typical day with XA to me, " yes, no, maybe, that never happened, I never said that, I never did that." and my favorite, "you never told me"............

and I thought I was the crazy one.....

bird13

yeah pretty much. They remember stuff when they do it, six months later they think back and forgot the whole month. so weird.

honeypig

My A doesn't remember things either, has been this way for years. When I would finally get my fill of repeating myself and say "we talked about that last night" or "I told you about this last week", I was generally told "well, I guess that just wasn't important enough for me to commit to memory"

And I accepted that. For years. I don't any more. Thanks, SR and Alanon.

Missus

Alternatively they remember *one* incident from years ago and keep bringing it up. Although that might be because its the *only* thing they remember...

redatlanta

it doesn't sound like a blackout to me. He could have memory problems nonetheless. Or he could be playing you. Who knows either way I'd keep an eye on finances.

FeelingGreat

That sort of memory lapse is quite common for a habitual drinker, and I've certainly come across it with my relatives. Blackouts may not be as obvious as you'd think; I wasn't really aware of them with myself, but began to realise parts of the evening were missing. It was one of the reasons I finally quit.