A return visit
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
A return visit
Hello all, I've been a member here on and off for some years now and my drinking history is an on and off one too. My most recent sober stint was close to a year with the help of AA. As AA took over I drifted away from here. But frankly I found AA increasingly unworkable for me as there was no dodging the fact that it offers a 'spiritual' path to recovery and I'm an out and out atheist. Not that I wish to bash AA. The local groups I went to helped a lot of people and I stayed sober, despite my reservations, for 11 months, benefiting from the fellowship element it offers.
A few months ago my dad died and the inevitable happened. It is a lousy excuse but I pressed the F it button. Life felt futile and pointless and the attraction of oblivion offered by alcohol was too much to resist.
Of course I have been feeling increasingly crap as a result and my nightly drinking has led to daily anxiety and hellishness.
Anyway I picked up the phone a couple of days ago and referred myself to a local drug and alcohol advisory counselling service I only discovered a couple of weeks ago. One AA member I admired very much suggested to me once that I would keep returning to alcohol if I didn't get to the root cause of why it is so 'attractive' to my mental make-up. I'm not sure about that but I am having a go anyway. I'm told I will be offered an appointment shortly after Christmas.
Hoping to get back to regular posting here too!
A few months ago my dad died and the inevitable happened. It is a lousy excuse but I pressed the F it button. Life felt futile and pointless and the attraction of oblivion offered by alcohol was too much to resist.
Of course I have been feeling increasingly crap as a result and my nightly drinking has led to daily anxiety and hellishness.
Anyway I picked up the phone a couple of days ago and referred myself to a local drug and alcohol advisory counselling service I only discovered a couple of weeks ago. One AA member I admired very much suggested to me once that I would keep returning to alcohol if I didn't get to the root cause of why it is so 'attractive' to my mental make-up. I'm not sure about that but I am having a go anyway. I'm told I will be offered an appointment shortly after Christmas.
Hoping to get back to regular posting here too!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome back Mentium 
If you can do nigh on a year, I think you must nearly have all the pieces of the puzzle - it's just making that permanent change?
My F it button was permanently disconnected several years back - it took a lot changes and a lot of commitment but if I can do it, anyone can
I'm sorry for your loss.
D
If you can do nigh on a year, I think you must nearly have all the pieces of the puzzle - it's just making that permanent change?
My F it button was permanently disconnected several years back - it took a lot changes and a lot of commitment but if I can do it, anyone can
I'm sorry for your loss.
D
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Hey Mentium
Like Dee said sounds like you have what it takes to get the "momentium' ball rolling, get rid of the f-it button and the idea of 'inevitability'. Nice to see you back around, I remember you from when I first got here.
wish you well and hope to see you around
Like Dee said sounds like you have what it takes to get the "momentium' ball rolling, get rid of the f-it button and the idea of 'inevitability'. Nice to see you back around, I remember you from when I first got here.
wish you well and hope to see you around
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Hi, Mention; very nice to see you.
I am very sorry to hear about your Dad; losing a parent is very painful.
Congratulations on your 11 months of sobriety. Inam sorry to hear that you were unable to sustain your sobriety after the death of your father - good to hear that you intend to take advantage of counseling services in your area.
Welcome back, Mention.
I am very sorry to hear about your Dad; losing a parent is very painful.
Congratulations on your 11 months of sobriety. Inam sorry to hear that you were unable to sustain your sobriety after the death of your father - good to hear that you intend to take advantage of counseling services in your area.
Welcome back, Mention.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
It's good to see you, Mentium.
I know you will be able to do this. And, I also believe that you do have to get to the root cause of your alcoholism in order to recover. I'm glad you have an appointment set up.
I know you will be able to do this. And, I also believe that you do have to get to the root cause of your alcoholism in order to recover. I'm glad you have an appointment set up.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,958
I think it would great to go back to AA for peer-support and work a program of your own choosing. For me CBT and DBT was my program and peer-support came from my sober friends. Some of those friends I met in AA and NA.
Here at SR I gained a lot of wisdom from other SR members/mods.
Great place to learn new behavior here.
Here at SR I gained a lot of wisdom from other SR members/mods.
Great place to learn new behavior here.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Welcome back Mentium
If you can do nigh on a year, I think you must nearly have all the pieces of the puzzle - it's just making that permanent change?
My F it button was permanently disconnected several years back - it took a lot changes and a lot of commitment but if I can do it, anyone can
I'm sorry for your loss.
D
If you can do nigh on a year, I think you must nearly have all the pieces of the puzzle - it's just making that permanent change?
My F it button was permanently disconnected several years back - it took a lot changes and a lot of commitment but if I can do it, anyone can
I'm sorry for your loss.
D
Welcome back, nice to meet you
Sorry for your loss Mentium
Glad you are okay and that you are back!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Good to see you back, Mentium.
Interesting, as I walked into AA many years ago as a staunch atheist who thought the idea of a higher power was a crutch for weak-minded sheep. The 12 Steps still worked for me, as they did for a number of my friends who started as atheists, as they did for about 1/2 the original atheist/agnostic AA membership at the time the book was written.
Originally Posted by Mentium
But frankly I found AA increasingly unworkable for me as there was no dodging the fact that it offers a 'spiritual' path to recovery and I'm an out and out atheist.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
good to see you back, Mentium.
i can't see the usefulness of calling a relapse "the inevitable". it isn't inevitable, and putting it that way just keeps setting it up for more of the same.
and yeah, AA is pretty up front about what's on offer, so no surprise it's a spiritual solution as the suggested road. atheism isn't incompatible with a spiritual practice, in my opinion and experience.
great to hear of the appointment you'll be getting soon, and i hope you find something of use to you in that new venue.
i can't see the usefulness of calling a relapse "the inevitable". it isn't inevitable, and putting it that way just keeps setting it up for more of the same.
and yeah, AA is pretty up front about what's on offer, so no surprise it's a spiritual solution as the suggested road. atheism isn't incompatible with a spiritual practice, in my opinion and experience.
great to hear of the appointment you'll be getting soon, and i hope you find something of use to you in that new venue.
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