dax

Well it is 26 years ago today that my husband took a desire chip at a chapter 9 meeting and never took another drink. In that way he is a sucess story. However for the past 5 years August has been a horrible month of stress and worry for me. The woman he had the affair with has her AA birthday tomarrow -her 20th. He used to go to meetings all day on his birthday- many with her. I always feel fear that he will contact her to congradulate her. That would be a deal breaker for me. However this year I am going to try to think more positive thoughts. He stayed with me=good I guess[rolling eyes here]. We would not even be together if he had continued to drink. I was getting ready to seperate. Everyone pray for me to stop all the triggers and pictures that go though my head as I drive by all their AA meetings places as I do my pet sits. My life is good and going to be a grand mother for the first time in about a month. My children had a stable upbringing. They were 7 and 4 when he got sober. dax

cwohio

wow - it's great to hear a few success stories! don't take any steps backward by reliving past events. you have come far - keep going forward!

congrats on becoming a grandma soon

cwohio

bjmt

cwohio is right. Wow..26 years. You have a success story to tell. Your kids had a stable upbring! You have accomplished a great deal. Don't let your imagination run away with you..keep busy on things you enjoy..like being a Grandmother. I am so jealous. Would love to have Grandkids.

givingup

Don't blame you for the anxiety. My AH celebrated 20 years of sobriety only to start drinking again 2 years ago. I will never feel safe or secure in this relationship again. I wonder if anyone ever does after all the betrayal of one kind or another.

cwohio

givingup - sorry to here about the situation - you are probably right, even after all that there is probably a little something somewhere that never quite goes away.

hope things get better for you!

many hugs cwohio

Rose56

Great News Dax! I agree with the gang here, movng forward...........

CrazyRed

Dax-
move forward! congrats on the anniversary and becoming a grandma.

You already know you can't control his choices, only your own; so quit torturing yourself already! Easy does it.

dax

Givingup- Had your husband been going to meetings all along? Anything special happen to cause the slip. That is really awlful. I guess we are all just one drink from disaster. dax

givingup

Dax - to answer your question, no he had not been going to meetings. He pretty much got scared sober in his early 20s after landing in a state mental institution for his second detox. But really he just became a dry drunk, ragealcholic, control freak for the next 20 years. He then pretty much talked himself into thinking he had never really been an alcoholic that it was just a 70s thing. Well, I guess we know the answer to that now.