jkirk

I've made it 8 months and I can't believe how much better I feel. I now am convinced I can never drink again & can't believe how I used to live my life. With that, two items are driving me crazy. One, I have several friends that continue to say, "when you come to your senses and start drinking again." Second, any party after 11p.m. just weighs on me as I'm the only sober person there. It doesn't tempt me, but I don't really enjoy being there. This is sad as my friend group is there. Yes, my entire friend group drinks but me. No, I'm not cracking, but looking for coping ideas.. Thanks in advance.. jk

Thepatman

Hanging around people that drink is simply impossible for me.

They are loud, annoying, and remind me of how I used to be.

LBrain

Captain! Long time no see. Congrats on 8 months.
Aside from what you already do to 'cope' with drinkers, one thing you should always have and that is an escape plan. If those around you start getting too drunk or you find yourself being tempted, find a way to leave. Or at least get away from that environment for a time to reset your thinking. Aside from many of the other good suggestions that will be offered, being able to remove yourself from a situation is paramount.
Don't rely on others for transportation. Drive yourself and be a designated driver with as few passengers as reasonable.

Here's my analogy for the day.

If you are in a burning building, would you run through the fire looking for a fire extinguisher or head for the nearest exit? Something to think about.

Nowsthetime

I hear you. I'm in the same boat. I'm the only non drinker... We are also the only ones that won't feel crappy the next day and that is cool. Stay strong. Your friends will get it eventually. Plus you are doing this for you. Not them.

I'm with you darling!!!

doggonecarl

Then why go?

There are a lot of things I have to do for various obligations--self-imposed or otherwise. But one of the things I don't do is go to parties where I know I won't enjoy myself.

Next holiday, maybe you'll find it easier to say no.

jkirk

LBrain, good to hear from you! I do use Uber quite a bit to escape!!!!! Doggonecarl, I like going to the parties, just find them boring around 11p.m..... While I can't always leave early, there is nothing better than waking up 100% sober! I'm not tempted, just a little bummed that every event has to have a bar!!

JT0626

My husband & I used to be drinking buddies. Now I am the sober one & he is the drunk/tipsy one. I hate it. I feel a disconnect with us as we speak. I look around and now wonder if this is the life I want to live (with an alcoholic husband). If he doesn't quit drinking & build a new life with me sans alcohol, this marriage won't last forever.

Soooo....what I am trying to say is that you may have to find new friends.

tomsteve

Doesn't seem to me friends would say, " when you come to your senses and start drinking again."
You may want to reevaluate your friends.
And why go somewhere with so many temptations AND not enjoy it?

jryan19982

I really hope for your sake, he comes to and realizes what he would be missing if he continues to drink.

I feel you on the holiday part sans the drink... and drunk people are pretty obnoxious... I'm not sure what concrete advise there is, besides maybe getting some sober friends so at least you can go to a party and be sober with other people... I mean sober people go to parties too right? Sober people like to have fun, and talk, and eat some interesting food, and play games etc...

SoberD

Jkirk, if you "don't enjoy them after 11:00 pm," why not just leave at 11:00 pm...

JT0626

I truly hope my husband stops drinking too. I am not optimistic about that though, he doesn't see how he is powerless over alcohol.

I simply continue doing what I do: not drinking & trying to enjoy life sober.

If he stops drinking...great! If not, I will be forced to make some quality of life decisions.

jryan19982

Ugh I feel ya... hey I grew up right outside of Balty... I miss home.

Dee74

I stopped voluntarily putting myself in situations I don't enjoy a long time ago jkirk
Have you considered the possibility of making some sober friends?

D

Soberwolf

Well done on 8 months

Some great advice above

Buggirl

I am dreading my works do Thursday tbh. I have an exit plan though and just laughed when I heard of the tales of embarrassment and misery at the one they all had Friday that I couldn't attend! Loved not being a part of it anymore!

bunnezjp

I didn't even like partying while I was still drinking!

Bunnez

Anna

Absolutely I stopped doing things I didn't want to do. I don't hang out with people who are drinking anymore. That's not to say I don't have dinner out with people who drink, but I choose to avoid parties with the 11pm issue. There are so many things to do, places to go and people to be with, that don't leave me feeling like that.

hope22

Congratulations on 8 months! Holiday parties can be tough. I had to go to a work party tonight, as soon as people started slurring their words and getting drunk I left. As others have said why not just leave at 11?

matilda123

Congratulations on eight months. That is inspiring!

Personally, I've said no to a lot of parties, but I'm only a little under three months in. But, I'm not being a hermit either. Meeting lots of folks for brunch, manicures, coffees and holiday shopping excursion and keeping the boozey events to a minimum. Just makes me feel better, I guess.

strategery

Have you thought of suggesting other activities such as going out for breakfast, going on a hike, going for donuts and coffee, or something that doesn't involve drinking to your friends?