Resist To Exsist
Dopeless Hope Fiend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Albany, New York.
Posts: 76
Resist To Exsist
My disease shows up univited all the time. Sometimes its easy to handle and other times its not. I live in one of the hardest places to stay clean..The streets!! I ended up here because of my addiction.My disease wants me here.My disease wants me to feel pain so it can creep up and say (in my own voice): " I can make it all go away, just give me one chance!" " You know Judy with the booty will let you chill at her house till you get back on your feet. Cheap too, for a couple things." Its this kind of thinking that leads me back to the shame,guilt, selfpity. The things my disease needs to live. Today I'm homeless. I had to get away from the people in my life who are using and find a new way to live..its really taking its toll today! I've been living the "mission life" for about a month now. People are seeing me around and are getting way to comfortable!! I don't even talk to anyone. I wake up and I'm gone as far away as I can until its time to go back lol. But ppl are starting to use infront of me. ask I need something.I just walk away but it kicks my disease up. Another day ..Another struggle. But I got thru it by talking to another person in recovery. What the we can do together , the I could never do alone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
diysherman,
I had a family member who was at a mission in albany for a while.. it was a tough time, but he met some awesome people who were in recovery, and he worked hard to stay clean. He too, made choices which led to him being homeless/mission life. He worked and began to help others there.
stay strong. people do care.
hugs,
chicory
I had a family member who was at a mission in albany for a while.. it was a tough time, but he met some awesome people who were in recovery, and he worked hard to stay clean. He too, made choices which led to him being homeless/mission life. He worked and began to help others there.
stay strong. people do care.
hugs,
chicory
DIYSherman
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Hang in there. I was never on the street so can only imagine how hard this must be.
I don't recall reading your story, but if you have family, I would try to ask for help. Unless they are bad people.
Do you have someone you could go live with?
I don't recall reading your story, but if you have family, I would try to ask for help. Unless they are bad people.
Do you have someone you could go live with?
Dopeless Hope Fiend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Albany, New York.
Posts: 76
Most of the people that were/are around actively use. My boss is supportive he offers his shower. Stuff like that but he lives out of the city.I'm doing the things that I need too. Its all in the matter of time. Just got to hope the matter is worth the wait. Im guessing that is what hope is for. When you've done everything you can, its something to pass the time.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
I'm so proud of you for walking away...taking care of yourself by ignoring the voice that wants to ultimately kill you.
You know how strong I think you are...determined, too.
And yeah, hope has a way of helping us move forward. A week ago I didn't have any hope, and being hopeless isn't pretty.....might as well be dead.
So glad you posted about this, my friend.
Keep the faith and ignore the voice.
You know how strong I think you are...determined, too.
And yeah, hope has a way of helping us move forward. A week ago I didn't have any hope, and being hopeless isn't pretty.....might as well be dead.
So glad you posted about this, my friend.
Keep the faith and ignore the voice.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I admire you. Courage dwells from within, and you are an example of it.
It's never too late, and nobody can make us tap down if we don't want to.
Keep fighting this head on, without fear, and at the end you will be standing.
Addiction can never beat the human spirit.
Keep us posted and I look forward to reading your progress and victories.
Rock on!
It's never too late, and nobody can make us tap down if we don't want to.
Keep fighting this head on, without fear, and at the end you will be standing.
Addiction can never beat the human spirit.
Keep us posted and I look forward to reading your progress and victories.
Rock on!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
We are here to talk at any time, DIY. I'm really proud of you for doing the right things to get your life back on track. I've been homeless, I know how hard it is.
Do you go to meetings? That would be a great place to spend time indoors and to maybe meet someone in recovery looking for a roommate.
Prayers go out to you. You'll be okay!
Do you go to meetings? That would be a great place to spend time indoors and to maybe meet someone in recovery looking for a roommate.
Prayers go out to you. You'll be okay!
Dopeless Hope Fiend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Albany, New York.
Posts: 76
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
We are here to talk at any time, DIY. I'm really proud of you for doing the right things to get your life back on track. I've been homeless, I know how hard it is.
Do you go to meetings? That would be a great place to spend time indoors and to maybe meet someone in recovery looking for a roommate.
Prayers go out to you. You'll be okay!
Do you go to meetings? That would be a great place to spend time indoors and to maybe meet someone in recovery looking for a roommate.
Prayers go out to you. You'll be okay!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by Diysherman
Yes I go to meetings. They are pretty much the only thing that keeps sane. I'm hoping this will be my last weekend living like this.
You will too. Next right thing. You are a survivor! Well done.
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