Universe i cant take it anymore!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 399
What the **** I'm Having a complete melt down I just saw the ex husbands girlfriend at the doctors and she's hot... I'm So upset .. She has a bad head but insane body and style ..all I could do was stop And stare at her figure and imagine them Having sex. . I'm so angry what the **** is going on here... She wanted to get up in my face and tell me off I think but because she knows I don't know her directly I ignored her and pretended I didn't I know who she was ... ******* son of a bitch he is for cheating and making a mess of our lives I hope they both have bigger problems than we did .. I'm devastated like seriously what is going on here!!! New level ..: the biggest devil ever ... And I went to the gp this morning to speak to my gp About my anxiety surrounding all this nonsense. Universe I can't take it anymore!!!!! What to I need to tell myself to not get depressed about him having sex with a hot woman and a great life together
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello KI, I'm just so sorry you are in such pain!
I'm happy to hear that you went to your GP to talk about what you are going through and to try to get some help. I'm sorry but I have forgotten if you are seeing a counselor as well--it is what made the biggest difference when my ex-husband had an affair and divorced me. I was also on an anti-depressant for a while, too.
Please don't compare yourself to your ex's new girlfriend. You are a unique and worthwhile woman as you are. I hope that you will soon come to believe that. Perhaps try to distract yourself and hug your kiddos tight this evening.
Please take good care!
I'm happy to hear that you went to your GP to talk about what you are going through and to try to get some help. I'm sorry but I have forgotten if you are seeing a counselor as well--it is what made the biggest difference when my ex-husband had an affair and divorced me. I was also on an anti-depressant for a while, too.
Please don't compare yourself to your ex's new girlfriend. You are a unique and worthwhile woman as you are. I hope that you will soon come to believe that. Perhaps try to distract yourself and hug your kiddos tight this evening.
Please take good care!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: My mind wanders a lot, but I try to stay in the present.
Posts: 1,007
Remember Hon, 99.9% of what you're hearing is what you're telling yourself.
You are your own worst enemy here.
I had a long talk with one of my STBXAH's girlfriends once. She was younger than me, more accomplished, had a better body. The whole package. She was a lovely woman, and she....was....miserable! He was making her life a living hell.
You are better off without him. He's her problem now. Fake it 'til you make it. Keep telling yourself whatever you need to tell yourself until you believe it, because it's true. You are better off without him, and you are worth so much more. She is just another sad woman who has bought herself a load of trouble. I doesn't matter what she looks like. She's just the poor sad woman who's taken on the troubles that you no longer have to deal with.
You are your own worst enemy here.
I had a long talk with one of my STBXAH's girlfriends once. She was younger than me, more accomplished, had a better body. The whole package. She was a lovely woman, and she....was....miserable! He was making her life a living hell.
You are better off without him. He's her problem now. Fake it 'til you make it. Keep telling yourself whatever you need to tell yourself until you believe it, because it's true. You are better off without him, and you are worth so much more. She is just another sad woman who has bought herself a load of trouble. I doesn't matter what she looks like. She's just the poor sad woman who's taken on the troubles that you no longer have to deal with.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
oh killerinstinct, i am so sorry you are hurting.
Nowhere on these boards, or any other articles I have read about alcoholism, and addiction have I ever read If you are hot and have a great body, you will be exempt from the all the bullsh*t that comes with living with this horrible disease.
Before you know it she will be living the same hell you did. Either it's the "birds of a feather flock together" relationship they are sharing , or she will wise up and dump his sorry Azz.
What controls your thoughts, controls you. Time to be practice some mindful awareness. If need be, force yourself to do something fun with friends, family. co-workers, gotta get over this one little hump, my friend.
Nowhere on these boards, or any other articles I have read about alcoholism, and addiction have I ever read If you are hot and have a great body, you will be exempt from the all the bullsh*t that comes with living with this horrible disease.
Before you know it she will be living the same hell you did. Either it's the "birds of a feather flock together" relationship they are sharing , or she will wise up and dump his sorry Azz.
What controls your thoughts, controls you. Time to be practice some mindful awareness. If need be, force yourself to do something fun with friends, family. co-workers, gotta get over this one little hump, my friend.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
You left him for a very valid reason. Chances are, he hasn't changed. Hot body or not, she gets to deal with the same person you left.
I get it. My XAB#1 got married to someone he was seeing when we were still together. Haven't seen him in about a decade, but mutual friends say he hasn't changed.
I went through the whole "what was wrong with ME?!?! Why didn't he marry ME?!?!" Thanks to the great people here, I wrote a list of his pros and cons when we were together.
Guess what? The cons was a WAY longer list. In the long run, though it took time, I realized she can HAVE HIM!!! He couldn't deal with the person I am, now, because I wouldn't put up with his BS.
I'm better than that, and so are you. Grieve, pitch a fit, then remember why you left him.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I get it. My XAB#1 got married to someone he was seeing when we were still together. Haven't seen him in about a decade, but mutual friends say he hasn't changed.
I went through the whole "what was wrong with ME?!?! Why didn't he marry ME?!?!" Thanks to the great people here, I wrote a list of his pros and cons when we were together.
Guess what? The cons was a WAY longer list. In the long run, though it took time, I realized she can HAVE HIM!!! He couldn't deal with the person I am, now, because I wouldn't put up with his BS.
I'm better than that, and so are you. Grieve, pitch a fit, then remember why you left him.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
My X's girlfriend has a much better body than I do. That being said, she is stuck with him now, not me. So, I will take my body, my mind, and my life and be glad I am not in that mess anymore.
Tight hugs. Don't compare yourself.
Tight hugs. Don't compare yourself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
KI....he's your EX, you two have been separated for how long now? it's time to LET GO. quit holding on to what HE is doing with HIS life and get busy with your own. he's allowed to life his life as he sees fit, to be with whomever he chooses....and it's none of your business. anymore than what you do in your life is HIS business.
you're obsessing. and that is hard to stop. but that is your key to freedom. the universe isn't doing anything to you. you're doing this to yourself.
I think continued counseling and anti-anxiety meds MIGHT be a goodway to help you move forward and keep working at letting go.
you're obsessing. and that is hard to stop. but that is your key to freedom. the universe isn't doing anything to you. you're doing this to yourself.
I think continued counseling and anti-anxiety meds MIGHT be a goodway to help you move forward and keep working at letting go.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
I do really feel your pain in this regard. My XABF used to LOVE to make sure I knew when he was seeing someone else. Man it really pissed me off. BUT what I'm learning is that anger is one of the first "cover up" emotions. Covers the true emotion that we are feeling, which in my case, I was feeling hurt and rejected. That sucked. But in the end, I'm so glad that no matter how hot that chick is or how much you are hurting- YOU aren't the one having to deal with his BS anymore- SHE is. So maybe look at her with some compassion because she probably has NO IDEA what she is getting herself into.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Originally Posted by killerinstinct 
What to I need to tell myself to not get depressed about him having sex with a hot woman and a great life together
Nowhere ever in the history of the world has Hotness imbued SuperPowers. She has to abide by the three C's just as much as anyone else living with an alcoholic.
More importantly, that this has you so upset is nothing more than a blaring neon signal that you have to find a way to get your focus OFF of him and ON to YOU. He has so much power over you right now. Sending you hugs and strength and COURAGE to reach out for some kind of help you haven't tried before.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
