freetosmile

Almost two weeks sober. Thanksgiving was a success...the day after family leaves he decides to hate AA. Hate that no one will sponsor him....blah blah. So he drinks on Monday, calls in to work on Tuesday due to hangover. Why didn't you go to AA, I ask. Just wasn't feeling it, sick of their sob stories he says with a laugh. Blank stare from me. Lets not forget that its almost Christmas, we have 5 kids, I'm in school and not working...so that missed day is gonna hurt. So this morning he was pleasant and kind. I send a text saying have a good day, blah blah. The response I got was " I can't remember a time that you ever cared about how I felt".
F this! No wonder my stomach always aches and my body is so fatigued. I cannot keep up with this BS! I've kind of wondered if he is lying about the sponsor thing..i mean, is it really that hard to get one??

lillamy

Quack. Quack. Quack.

If you want sobriety and recovery badly enough, you'll find it.
If you want a sponsor badly enough, you'll find one.
If you want an excuse to drink -- yeah, you'll find that, too.

Are you doing anything to take care of you? (((hugs)))

AnvilheadII

turn down the volume so you can't hear what he SAYS...
now just look at what he DOES.

what do you see? what do his actions tell you about him?
can't stay off the booze for two weeks. drinking again.
calling off work.
displaying concern for exactly ONE person, and honey, it ain't you or any of your five kids.

what was your plan B again??

hopeful4

It's likely he was just sitting back waiting for someone to offer to sponsor him, which won't always happen. He can show how much he wants it by seeking a sponsor and working the program....or not.

I agree with Anvil, do you have a plan B?

freetosmile

I simply could not agree more with all of you. God is really lowering my tolerance to this behavior. I'm all about supporting sobriety and dealing with a relapse, but the constant degrading and accusations about me being unfaithful on top of that is getting old. Especially when I have never been unfaithful. My plan B? Quit being a victim and take control of MY life. Continue therapy and continue learning to love myself. And if he jumps on board, great. If not, then I will have to call it. I guess I just don't know when I will know.

AnvilheadII

Are YOU staying sober? i recall you had your own problems with substances....that is yet another reason to keep your focus on YOU, and worry less about him getting it together. he's not exactly the poster child for what having one's sh!t together looks like.

regardless you are going to need YOU strong healthy sane and sober. you have your own three kids welfare to worry about and they need at least one parent that is looking after them and moving their life in a continued forward healthy directly.

freetosmile

Yes, I have. I will be honest and say that I have drank every now and then. I have never had a problem with alcohol and I don't like getting drunk. that's not my vise. I used to take pills. The legal way, prescribed to me. I didn't take them by the directions on the bottle and used them when I didn't need them. I have two herniated disks in my neck, so I have good and bad days. But I'm off those now. So yeah, I'm pretty sober. Thank God.

LexieCat

He's just justifying his drinking by feeding his resentments. Resentments against AA, resentments against you. Typical (classic, really) alcoholic behavior. He isn't "feeling it" because he doesn't really want to be sober yet.