pattyspaw

i had 2 days and gave into the wrong voice in my head; my sick thinking keeps telling me i can drink like normal people; if i only buy a small bottle every 3rd day i don't really have a problem and i am in control; the next day i always know better;

Thepatman

Perhaps you need a new plan? You appear to have joined SR in 2005, maybe it's time to increase your arsenal against this addiction?

I have no doubt you can do this, tweak your plan and keep posting!

JayEl

Start again. That's all we can do. Maybe read back on some older posts (what I'm doing) to really see the madness. Anyone that has any control with alcohol NEVER thinks about controlling alcohol. I can certainly relate, I've been 'controlling' it for a while now just to look in the mirror and realize I'm hiding bottles, drinking and driving, dealing with withdrawal symptoms and trying to pretend it's normal. You can do this!

ScottFromWI

Do you participate in any kind of formal Sobriety plan or group Patty? It might be helpful to get you started down a sober path.

I told myself literally every story in the book and tried every moderation plan that is out there - I even made some up myself. I tried the official "Moderation Managment" plan. I tried only drinking a certain amount at each session. I tried only drinking during certain hours of the day. I tried drinking only certain days of the week. I tried drinking only certain types of beer. I tried alternating between alcoholic and non-alcoholic beer.

Bottom line, every single one of them failed. Why? Because each one is an attempt to control my drinking, and I'm an Alcoholic. Alcoholics cannot, and will never be able to control their drinking.

For me acceptance was the first step. I had to absolutely and unquestionably accept that i can NEVER drink alcohol without consequences. Once I got that down everything got a heck of a lot easier. There are many ways to go about that - some chose AA, others choose a more personal and self paced method. But the bottom line is you have to make that commitment/acceptance happen first. I wish you the best of luck in doing so.

Soberwolf

^^^^^^^^^

Nonsensical

People who can control their drinking don't have a voice in their head telling them they can.

OklaBH

Im sorry you are struggling. Have you gone to the doctor?

PaulinaPolitely

I told myself literally every story in the book and tried every moderation plan that is out there - I even made some up myself. I tried the official "Moderation Managment" plan. I tried only drinking a certain amount at each session. I tried only drinking during certain hours of the day. I tried drinking only certain days of the week. I tried drinking only certain types of beer. I tried alternating between alcoholic and non-alcoholic beer.

Bottom line, every single one of them failed. Why? Because each one is an attempt to control my drinking, and I'm an Alcoholic. Alcoholics cannot, and will never be able to control their drinking.


Still not sure how the quote thing works. Love this quote though, pretty much sums up ALL manner of trying different things. I remember a great quote when I too tried Moderation Management, and it was from a disgruntled drinker, "and to think I am trying to control my drinking by drinking."

JanieJ

Pattyspaw, hun, if your join date is correct, then you have been trying to quit for a while now, just like I did .

In the end, I just got tired of the struggle and the stress of trying to control things all the time, because non of it brought me happiness or peace.

It is such a relief to accept that I can't drink any more, it's a huge weight from my shoulders.

As others have said, perhaps it 's time to get a plan together that works for you.

You have the experience of what doesn't work, maybe time to try something new x

Dee74

I think the Patman nailed it Patty - you need a new plan.
whatever you've been doing, it's not enough.

Have you given any thought to what else you could be doing for your recovery?

D