rock solid bottom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 18
rock solid bottom
drank all week long. Got into a huge fight with my husband and had a lovely anxiety attack at three this morning.
I hate drinking, I hate feeling that l need that next drink. I hate the look my husband gives me if I have anything alcohol wise in my hand. I hate that I know people in this small town talk bout how I am a huge alkie. Today is day one and I need it more than ever.
I wanted to run, run faster than ever last night from my family and husband. It would of crushed them it would of crushed me. The AV is such a strong voice in my head most days and I need to tell it to shut up! My heart hurts with so much discontent. I am not hungover and I don't want to pick up that next glass. I want to be free of these chains forever. so like I said before day 1! I have to stop crying and worrying of what I have done. Please let me stay strong.
I hate drinking, I hate feeling that l need that next drink. I hate the look my husband gives me if I have anything alcohol wise in my hand. I hate that I know people in this small town talk bout how I am a huge alkie. Today is day one and I need it more than ever.
I wanted to run, run faster than ever last night from my family and husband. It would of crushed them it would of crushed me. The AV is such a strong voice in my head most days and I need to tell it to shut up! My heart hurts with so much discontent. I am not hungover and I don't want to pick up that next glass. I want to be free of these chains forever. so like I said before day 1! I have to stop crying and worrying of what I have done. Please let me stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
I had a similar thing happen last week. Huge drunken fight with a man I love very much.
The anxiety, shame, depression and self loathing were almost too much to take.
I felt so bad. I went to AA that same day.
I've been sober 5 days and feel so so much better, happy I can even say. You'll feel better too, gotta stay away from the drink.
You can do it, you really can. Any of us can, as long as we mean it and try.
The anxiety, shame, depression and self loathing were almost too much to take.
I felt so bad. I went to AA that same day.
I've been sober 5 days and feel so so much better, happy I can even say. You'll feel better too, gotta stay away from the drink.
You can do it, you really can. Any of us can, as long as we mean it and try.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Hey I'm the small town girl who is always drunk! Didn't know I had a twin 
You can be happy again. The beginning is rough, I'm not going to sugar coat it. My final day 1 was hot baths, sr, one trusted friend to talk to, lots of food and a nap. Be a friend to yourself. A trip to the doctor (I think) is extremely necessary.
You can do this!
You can be happy again. The beginning is rough, I'm not going to sugar coat it. My final day 1 was hot baths, sr, one trusted friend to talk to, lots of food and a nap. Be a friend to yourself. A trip to the doctor (I think) is extremely necessary.
You can do this!
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey lunachild- Sorry to hear about your slip.
Day-1 is always a positive thing. We all have slip ups in some areas of our lives, but it's the ones who learn from them and continue with their goals, that seem to make it. There's no reason why you can't reach your goals too.
I think that it really helps to keep the mindset that alcohol is no longer an option- period. In-other-words, regardless of the circumstance, alcohol should not play a part. For me, once I adopted this idea, things seemed to move forward a little easier.
There's no doubt that you can do it, as long as you're willing to give it your all. I do wish you the best in your efforts.
Lusher
Day-1 is always a positive thing. We all have slip ups in some areas of our lives, but it's the ones who learn from them and continue with their goals, that seem to make it. There's no reason why you can't reach your goals too.
I think that it really helps to keep the mindset that alcohol is no longer an option- period. In-other-words, regardless of the circumstance, alcohol should not play a part. For me, once I adopted this idea, things seemed to move forward a little easier.
There's no doubt that you can do it, as long as you're willing to give it your all. I do wish you the best in your efforts.
Lusher
Sober
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 80
I know how you feel. It's so recognizable. I have a couple of days sober so far and failed a couple of times at first. But I came to the point that I realized that I really needed to quit. Otherwise it would kill me.
The two smartest things I did was post here and go to my doctor asap. Those two pillars of support really helped me get through my barrier, that one moment where you either drink or you get through it sober and it gets easier. At least that's how I experienced it.
You will need to do anything you can to get through that initial barrier. That moment where it's drink or struggle through it. Just know that after the struggle, there's a better life waiting. And it doesn't take that long.
Post here and make an appointment with your doctor. If you do only one thing. Even if you can't quit. If you really, really can't do it, that one thing is to get into your doctors office. Even if you show up drunk or hungover. Get there. You can always tell him or her right away that you're drunk or hungover, that you want to quit but just can't.
Drag yourself into that doctor's office. That's the bare minimum and you can do that. But maybe it'll be easier and you can get through the barrier. But, and I can't stress this enough, go see your doctor, now matter what.
Good luck!
The two smartest things I did was post here and go to my doctor asap. Those two pillars of support really helped me get through my barrier, that one moment where you either drink or you get through it sober and it gets easier. At least that's how I experienced it.
You will need to do anything you can to get through that initial barrier. That moment where it's drink or struggle through it. Just know that after the struggle, there's a better life waiting. And it doesn't take that long.
Post here and make an appointment with your doctor. If you do only one thing. Even if you can't quit. If you really, really can't do it, that one thing is to get into your doctors office. Even if you show up drunk or hungover. Get there. You can always tell him or her right away that you're drunk or hungover, that you want to quit but just can't.
Drag yourself into that doctor's office. That's the bare minimum and you can do that. But maybe it'll be easier and you can get through the barrier. But, and I can't stress this enough, go see your doctor, now matter what.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 128
self loathing...
always makes me want to drink. I have had many relapses in my life and I finally realized that continually beating myself up....and that whole vicious cycle, was contributing to my inability to stay sober. I know you can pick yourself up! 
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