StellaPolaris

Did you have a reward system when you quit drinking..?

I'm reading "I quit. Now what?", and it recommends a reward system. I like the thought of that.

Dee74

Like I said to someone else today we become used to immediate gratification as alcoholics and addicts....so yeah - in the beginning I had little rewards, something nice to eat or whatever, maybe a CD, but the process pretty quickly became it's own reward, if you know what I mean?

D

MIRecovery

I do not think it is as conscious as it use to be but I do good things for myself. I wonder though if this is just how normal people live

FeelingGreat

It sounds like a plan, but when I got to the point where I was mentally ready to quit I didn't really need a reward. As time went on, I just enjoyed the relaxing nature of sobriety.

Lots of people use some of the money they save to buy a treat or experience, but at the time I was more focussed on saving.

Marcher13

So do I MIR. And maybe we become normal.

StellaPolaris

Thank you for your responses. The book outlines a more rigid system, with a list of rewards after one week, one month and so on... Right now I mostly enjoy the extra money in my pocket and the fact that I can drive anywhere at any time. I've taken myself to the movies, out for coffee or anything else I've felt like doing in the spur of the moment. Sounds like as good a plan as any.

doggonecarl

Just be careful and don't reward your sobriety with a drink. Believe me, your addictive voice will try to float that one past you.

StellaPolaris

Ha ha... I'll try to avoid that one, Carl.

ThatHombre

I started a thread about my 1st reward.

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barefootjunker

Not a long timer but can say that since quitting money is not as tight. Being as such I am able to reward myself with things I do need, but when drinking were not purchased.

For one my clothes are all basically trashed from work. I needed something nice to go to court in so bought it, with out regret of not having the cash to carry on.

The first week I bought nice winter coveralls as my old ones were beyond the last leg of worn, next week bought a couple shirts that are not permanently stained with work grime, next some arbor wear pants as they last forever. This week it will be something else that I do need and have the money for. Being drunk i didn't care how I looked now I find I do. So rewarding myself with things I truly need and like is my reward.

StellaPolaris

I had a dream last night. Not a terrible nightmare, like every night these past few years, but a normal dream (well, honestly it was a pretty inappropriate dream about a coworker, but I'll take what I can get ATM ).

I could also face going to the mall to buy some tea and some other stuff I needed - haven't been able to do that for a while (haven't cared either, I can totally relate, barefootjunker).

Rewards in themselves I guess.

Anna

I didn't really, but I was careful to praise myself and allow my low self-esteem to slowly grow.

Xtreem

I guess I quality as an old-timer ;-)

When I got sober I had a list of things I wanted "rewards", so to speak. they were...

I wanted a job
I wanted a place to live
I wanted a car
I wanted a T.V.

I'm not kidding - that is want I wished for out of sobriety, I have 100 times that today.

I'm not sure that is really the rewards system that you were meaning, but yes, in way I did.

CAPTAINZING2000

I reward myself with nice vacations

LBrain

Jeeze, It sounds like dating a JAP (jewish american princess) except you actually are saving money and the rewards are far greater.

I don't know what qualifies as an old timer around here. I think if you are feeling good about something you accomplished, reward yourself on a milestone if you want. As long as it's not too extravagant or becomes more than the 'accomplishment' itself. However, over time it will become silly and meaningless. It also depends on the individual. My birthday is just another day of the week to me. To some people it is a day of celebration for all the world. So it really depends on the person. If you want to give your kids money for getting 'A's on their report card, good for you. What does it do to kids who cannot get 'As' no matter how hard they try?
I do understand that for many it is a proud and difficult accomplishment. But getting a reward for small milestones of sobriety is for all the wrong reasons in my opinion. My reward was the knowledge and self-satisfaction that accompanied it. We have become a society of rewards. I'm surprised hallmark hasn't come out with sobriety cards yet. The 30 day, 60 day, 90 day cards ... hmmmmm oh, there are coins or "chips" for that. Ah, but what of the people who aren't in that club. I'll put it on my list, along with "You're Welcome" cards.
As was already stated, sobriety itself is the reward. Try not to over think it.

StellaPolaris

Thanks, LBrain. I love birthdays, Valentine's, Christmas and any other day that calls for celebration (hallmark moments ). Don't really need a card or a chip or anything, but I love having something to look forward to.

Tomorrow I have 2 weeks, and I just bought myself a concert ticket and gave myself a big high five.

...oh, and I never payed my kids for grades.

Soberwolf

Im not an old timer but i totally agree with what D said

least

My only reward was being able to pay bills since the money wasn't going for wine anymore. My dogs' happiness was another reward, since I neglected them when I was drinking. But the best reward is just waking up sober and feeling good.

LBrain

congrats on 2 weeks stella, enjoy the concert!

fini

didn't occur to me

i was thrilled and excited at my new adventure. because i really felt it was different this time.
and it has been.
its own reward for sure.
the first few weeks i'd wake up in the morning with a "wow! x days! yippeee!" and that was plenty rewarding. i knew i was doing it.

StellaP, no doubt it's not all roses. so be good to yourself. be nice to yourself. and no reason why not spoil yourself a little.
but somewhere in my understanding of the word/concept of reward is some suggestion that i'm doing something rather distasteful and against my inclination...ach, i talk too much.

yes! enjoy the concert! enjoy the life that sobriety makes possible.