aztecprincess

So, I've been sober for the first time in 10 years. I've wasted a lot of time and money getting high everyday. My routine was wake up, score, get high, go to work, come home, reward myself for working by getting high, go to sleep. repeat. This has been my routine. Now on my 23rd day of sobriety with the help of a methadone program, but getting itchy. I busted my ass working today and want to use so so so badly. What do I reward myself with now? I'm bored. I thought I was over the hard part of feeling like s***, even with methadone, I still felt bad ( nausea, depression, loss of appetite, etc.). But now I'm in a slump, like a funk that I can't shake. I want to go to sleep, my body is tired, but have for some reason am suffering from insomnia now too. What gives? How long is this going to last?

Dee74

Hi and welcome aztecprincess

I think a lot of us become used to the instant gratification of active addiction - if there's not that huge chemical rush I think we can feel a little cheated?

I had to get used to simple pleasures again. There are some good starting ideas here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

we do adjust. we do change. we do find please in small things again.

Until then, there's nothing wrong with giving yourself a small, healthy, treat - a nice dinner, a movie, a bubble bath, a new CD - whatever that might be - if it helps

congrats on those 28 days

D

doggonecarl

Welcome to Sober Recovery.

Sitting in the waiting room of a doctors office for three hours is boredom. What an addict, 28 days clean, who's thinking of using calls boredom is usually their discontent with living clean and sober.

Early recovery is hard. You are going to have a lot more downs than ups in the coming days and weeks. But don't let your addiction justify using to "relieve boredom" because in the end, you are just going to be thrown back into the throes of addiction again.

I'd rather be bored.

Stay strong, you'll get there.

Steve123123

Hey, aztecprincess. I completely empathize with you've described. I'm in my 38th day of sobriety, and I continue to so often fight through thoughts that aggressively tell me that what I'm doing is much less interesting than my addiction.

I have no idea if this is a short-term type of feeling, but I imagine that I'll continue to train myself to rely upon other sources for entertainment, little by little. I also think that it's pretty realistic that I'll always have that "addictive voice" reminding me about this other path of entertainment, and I also imagine that the more I allow myself to dwell upon this other path the more my emotions will be crippled.

Anyway, all I can tell you is that I've simply tried to ignore this voice and have tried to find other sources of entertainment, such as video games, sports, television, etc. I wish I could give you more constructive support, but I hope it helps even a tiny bit to know that I'm right there with you.

Also, I think Dee and Carl posted awesome experienced-based advice. In addition, I've never experienced methadone, but it sounds like there are some rough elements to its use. I hope its positives are strong enough to keep you benefiting from it.

Congratulations on 28 days, by the way. That's totally awesome. I sincerely wish you the very best as you continue to be awesome.

Anna

Aztecprincess, you are becoming aware of the part of recovery that involves doing the work. It takes so much more than stopping using/drinking. It takes looking back and figuring out why we ended up where we did, and what we need to do to change it. You might think about trying new activities or getting back to old hobbies, reaching out to sober friends, whatever works for you.

Soberwolf

Good advice