IWantFree

Hi All,

End of day 3... Tough one but we got there. I've got an important day tomorrow, so I'm feeling anxious, but I've not drank.

I had a conversation with my partner this evening. We're going to visit his parents for Christmas and I've been thinking about finally telling them I'm an alcoholic because it would be so much easier if they just know exactly why I'm not drinking. I know they'll be very supportive. His Mum doesn't drink, but his Dad enjoys a sociable drop - usually with my partner and me. I can't face having to hide my excessive drinking from them or have to go through another detox when we get back, and I'm at work again.

The thing as we were talking he was asking why it would be different this time? We've been here before, so many times. And he's right! For years I've been a serial relapser. Every time, I know I say the same sorts of things. And every time I drink again. So why should this time be any different?

I was trying to explain that i didn't know why, but I'm trying to make it different. Coming here, trying to accept the difference between stopping drinking and starting my recovery from addiction. And that part of doing something different was to tell people - at least those close to me - that I have a problem. He didn't seem to get it.

I was sad, because his method of understanding has become acceptance of my alcoholism. He loves me so much, helps me through every detox, never getting angry, listens to me say the same stuff, and watches it happen all over again.

I tried to tell him that I don't want that for my life, or his. I don't want to just accept that this will be my life because if I do, it won't be a very long one.

I don't know, I thought partners were supposed to throw us out! I'm just confused I guess. Coming here is a big change for me. I'm getting so much out of reading your posts. I always find that someone else has been thinking about something that has crossed my mind... Just a few posts down is Chilli with planning for being sober.... Just what I needed tonight... If only I read it before I spoke to my partner.

He ho... I'm guess I'm just confused.

Goodnight all... keep well. A (sober) bed calls

Soberwolf

Sounds like you got a loving caring partner

Well done on day 3

If your partner supports this & its important to your recovery then tell them

keep on keepin on

Live2Run25

I found that laying it out there for everyone to hear really helped me. By saying "I no longer drink anymore" it closed all open doors to alcohol. No one would offer anything, and no one acted like it was a big deal. I got an "okay.." and conversation moved along. It was so freeing to not worry about hiding things.

Sounds like you've got a very supportive partner.

Dee74

Hi Iwantfree

I understand your concern - it may not so much be acceptance as codependency.

The thing is - your husbands thoughts and reactions should not really be your priority now. They're beyond your control.

Try to get someone to understand something they haven;t experienced is a big ask.

But..as long as you understand why you're doing this and are committed, I think everything else has a way of falling in to place

Anna

I think that you have to dig deep and find a way to do this for yourself. It sounds like your partner is willing to accept the status quo, but you aren't. So, do whatever you need to do to stay sober.

Ellay

No real words of advice, just great job on day 3 !!!

IWantFree

Thanks D... You're right of course.

He is a very loving and caring partner and I want to get, and stay sober so I can enjoy living my life again. And an important part of that life is my life with him.

Thanks everyone. I'm grateful for this place, and for you guys, and for another sober day.

Iwf

Soberwolf

Keep going i want free you can do this