Inpatient rehab
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 3
Inpatient rehab
My boyfriend admitted himself to an inpatient rehab 2 days ago. It took me doing a lot of convincing and a lot of self-realization for him to realize it was the best thing. The hardest thing i've ever witnessed in my life of only 20 years, was watching someone i love so much realizing they're in no control of their addiction because it's taken over. We haven't been together long, but it feels like forever...one of those instant connections, ya know? We instantly hit it off and I have stood by him through things I never thought even existed, let alone anything I ever thought I'd witness.
My boyfriend suffers from bipolar depression and anxiety, and having a bipolar-depressive father who was also alcoholic...I know the affects the disease of both bipolar and addiction. But I also know, to an extent they have no control over these things once they take over so much...they're diseases they take time to heal and get control over. Knowing this I've only ever held him accountable for his drug addiction...not towards anything else.
In the first few weeks we were together, I realized there was a problem whenever I saw him for about a week straight and he always smelt like weed. Now, we are in college so I'm not completely naive...I know boys smoke weed occasionally. But, the fact that he was incapable of being sober was a concern of mine...I knew he had drug problems prior to us meeting and getting set up but I was told it was no longer a problem and he was straightening back up. So I confronted him and told him things have to change or i'm leaving...I want someone whose here mentally and is sober (majority of the time...again we're in college) so he stopped...or so I thought. Then I saw him do a bunch of different drugs one night and it scared me but behind it all I knew there were problems and causes to why he was doing what he was doing...it was his way of coping with something. Later on that month, I worked late one night and got a call from the friends that had set us up telling me he was being sketchy and was going to NOLA...well considering I was supposed to be going see him after work I called him concerned and he assured me nothing was happening and he wasn't doing any drugs or anything like that he was just going to NOLA. The next day, my same friends that called me and told me he was being sketchy, told me they walked downstairs that morning to see him passed out on the couch and told me we needed to have an intervention with him. So later that day we all went to the apartment and talked to him telling him we were concerned and he needed to change things or something bad would end up happening. (He drove to and from NOLA (1 hour drive) drugged up, and denied being on any drug.) You could look at him and tell he was on something...you could just tell he had no idea what was going on, it was heartbreaking. But we continued on with our intervention and it seemed to work, until his therapist put him in out-patient. He went to a music festival 3 weeks into the outpatient workshop and did molly, ecstasy, weed, and bars. Needless to say, this sparked his addiction once more. It made him remember what it was like to forget all his problems...but it also made him forget when he comes back from being in drugged up land all the problems are worse. We'll that leads to 3 days ago...when his therapist, his mom, his friends, and I decided it was time for inpatient. We realized he's probably been lying and continued using bars and weed and just never let anyone know. Looking back over the past two weeks I notice a weight loss that he claimed was from running...but when he runs he brags to me about his times because he knows I only dream of ever running his 3 mile times...and he never once bragged.
I just don't know how to cope with my best friend and someone I love so much not being around for 30 days...or how to help him once he gets out...or even how to be when I can visit or he calls. Does anyone have any advice?
My boyfriend suffers from bipolar depression and anxiety, and having a bipolar-depressive father who was also alcoholic...I know the affects the disease of both bipolar and addiction. But I also know, to an extent they have no control over these things once they take over so much...they're diseases they take time to heal and get control over. Knowing this I've only ever held him accountable for his drug addiction...not towards anything else.
In the first few weeks we were together, I realized there was a problem whenever I saw him for about a week straight and he always smelt like weed. Now, we are in college so I'm not completely naive...I know boys smoke weed occasionally. But, the fact that he was incapable of being sober was a concern of mine...I knew he had drug problems prior to us meeting and getting set up but I was told it was no longer a problem and he was straightening back up. So I confronted him and told him things have to change or i'm leaving...I want someone whose here mentally and is sober (majority of the time...again we're in college) so he stopped...or so I thought. Then I saw him do a bunch of different drugs one night and it scared me but behind it all I knew there were problems and causes to why he was doing what he was doing...it was his way of coping with something. Later on that month, I worked late one night and got a call from the friends that had set us up telling me he was being sketchy and was going to NOLA...well considering I was supposed to be going see him after work I called him concerned and he assured me nothing was happening and he wasn't doing any drugs or anything like that he was just going to NOLA. The next day, my same friends that called me and told me he was being sketchy, told me they walked downstairs that morning to see him passed out on the couch and told me we needed to have an intervention with him. So later that day we all went to the apartment and talked to him telling him we were concerned and he needed to change things or something bad would end up happening. (He drove to and from NOLA (1 hour drive) drugged up, and denied being on any drug.) You could look at him and tell he was on something...you could just tell he had no idea what was going on, it was heartbreaking. But we continued on with our intervention and it seemed to work, until his therapist put him in out-patient. He went to a music festival 3 weeks into the outpatient workshop and did molly, ecstasy, weed, and bars. Needless to say, this sparked his addiction once more. It made him remember what it was like to forget all his problems...but it also made him forget when he comes back from being in drugged up land all the problems are worse. We'll that leads to 3 days ago...when his therapist, his mom, his friends, and I decided it was time for inpatient. We realized he's probably been lying and continued using bars and weed and just never let anyone know. Looking back over the past two weeks I notice a weight loss that he claimed was from running...but when he runs he brags to me about his times because he knows I only dream of ever running his 3 mile times...and he never once bragged.
I just don't know how to cope with my best friend and someone I love so much not being around for 30 days...or how to help him once he gets out...or even how to be when I can visit or he calls. Does anyone have any advice?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome baa - I have no personal experience to share with this but I know you'll find tons of support here 
If it was me, I guess I'd try and remember he's where he is to get better. 30 days may seen like an eternity but it's really not.
Stick around, read, post as much as you like. Visit our Family and Friends forums too...
you're not alone
D
If it was me, I guess I'd try and remember he's where he is to get better. 30 days may seen like an eternity but it's really not.
Stick around, read, post as much as you like. Visit our Family and Friends forums too...
you're not alone
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 3
Thanks so much for your feedback, I really hope he realizes all the great opportunities he has in his life. He used to once be such a headstrong anti-drugs/alcohol person but then college changed him from what I've been told!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
Welcome. Be yourself. Listen if he wants to talk about it. Talk about normal stuff otherwise. Make an effort to get to any family time scheduled if invited. Realize that he may wish to avoid situations or events or people or places for a while after getting out, respect that as much as you can. Understand that he may be just plain uncomfortable in his skin for a bit. Otherwise, it's his deal, not yours. And yes, highly suggest reading and talking to the Friends and Family in their subforum here.
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