retiredusaf

My wife and I both decided to quit and we have been sober 6 days. I know I have a problem and am going to AA. She hates AA and is doing an online thing. She keeps saying I am an alcoholic because I am going to AA and she is just a drunk. She has already decided she will start drinking in 6 months to a year. I fear with it in the house I will relapse. Any thoughts?

least

Your wife seems to have some strange beliefs. Have you talked to her about this? Does she know how important this is to you?

Dee74

I think you're best to focus on today for now, to be honest

Your wife may change her mind about drinking again...but even if she doesn't, lots of people here have drinking spouses. It's challenging, certainly, but not impossible to maintain your recovery

D

retiredusaf

I told her I understand she does not like AA and that is ok. I told her I think it is important that we do not drink. One of us almost went to jail last time we got drunk.

earlyriser

My husband and I were both heavy drinkers, and we live in a total party atmosphere on a small lake with tons of drinking friends. However, he seems to be able to cut back or cut out drinking without a lot of effort or fanfare on many occasions, while my drinking was of a different caliber.

I will have 50 days tomorrow, despite numerous parties, including 2 wine tastings, a clam bake, a Buffalo Bills game, and an election night celebration. I can't recall which of these my husband drank at, because my sobriety is about and for me. He is supportive, although I know if I were to start drinking again, he'd have no reaction one way or the other.

As long as your wife isn't actually undermining your recovery, I'd say keep building your sober time for yourself and experience all the amazing benefits it brings. Perhaps this will encourage your wife to stay along for the journey, perhaps not. Either way, if you want it for yourself bad enough, it won't matter whether your wife drinks or not.

Many SR members have drinking, if not alcoholic, spouses.

Good luck to you. Hope you find the same clarity about it all that the successful members here have found.

Earlyriser

Jwalker

Both you and your wife are sober today, and that's an accomplishment! Congratulations!

Today, there is no alcohol in your house, so you need not worry. Who knows what will happen in 6 months? Stay in today and focus on your own recovery.

Jwalker

anattaboy

My wife and I quit. I do SR--she doesn't. We are doing much better than when drunk. Actually had someone to talk to about wanting a drink and talking through it this weekend and I've done the same for her. We both know drinking is out of the question so we share that-so far so good at almost 5 months here.

liv1ce

I find it difficult to watch my wife and friends drink although my problem has been opiates for quite some time. I quit drinking and had a problem with it quite some time ago. I don't even remember it's been so long. Opiates, however, that's another thing.

I like getting high and have a few months clean of those as well but it is still hard to watch others drink for two reasons. One I can sense or feel the buzz they are enjoying and find it really attractive. The second is that the allure of the buzz disappears as the conversations get stupid but then I feel alone in a group as I can no longer participate in drunken, inane coversations.

I also spend summers on a small lake and that is where the drinking is frequent but limited to 'happy hour".

Hawks

That's like trying to predict the weather a year from now.

"just for today" and don't forget the banner on the left hand side isn't just there to cover up cracks in the wall

Notimetoloose

Some people like AA some don't, some people like a particular forum, some don't.
Some like SMART, some like one on one counselling or AVRT...some like their own council and some like a hybrid of several...There is a lot of different types of support out there but ultimately it will come back to us....Do what feels right for you and keeps you sober.

6 months is a long time in early sobriety. We also change and stuff changes around us...

There is alcohol here at home, ..in the early days it had my attention, now not so much....wait and see what happens and you might be surprised at how little a temptation it is if at all for the most part.

thekl0wn

As many others have said, it's a daily process. If you're like me, you'll get tired of hearing the phrase "One day at a time" in AA. However, if you're like me, one day it makes perfect sense.

Being honest and being supportive are the two key things. It goes both ways. As my sponsor told me in the beginning, "Today, you focus on you."