Jack16

Hi, I'm meeting friends in a bit and my AV has gone nuts. Just need someone to tell me to hang in there. Thanks!

Ellay

Hang in there !!! Where are you meeting them?

Jack16

Thanks! Unfortunately in a bar.

Lusher

Hey Jack16-

You've got this. Just stay the course and don't give in at all!!!

Ellay

Ok, what are you going to order ? Practice saying it to us. Do you have to go though?

Jack16

Ok, I have to go there unfortunately.

I'm gonna order coke. I'm gonna have a pizza and gorge on sugary drinks. Feeling good about it already. First time I've used this app. A life saver! My phone is almost out of battery so apologies if I go silent.

THANK YOU ALL!! Sincerely!

Ellay

Good luck and come back and tell us all about the pizza and pop....mmmm.....now I want that ! You can do this !

sunrise88

Good luck, I know Fridays are rough. You'll do great! Check back later. Ps. Now I want pizza

Jack16

Yes! Will check back later. Good to be accountable. THANKS EVERYONE

doggonecarl

Hope you are well. I hate to see those have-to-meet-friends-at-the bar posts, especially from those in early recovery. And the dreaded, "I have to go there..." as if there was no choice.

There's always a choice. Just like there is a choice to drink or not. Hope you can choose not.

Nuudawn

Okay...you are eating..cool. I have had no issue in a pub if I have some purpose for being there. I can sip my soda and await my food and chit chat...I can eat and chit chat...but then...later...when it's just sitting round making small talk ..it can get a little more anxiety inducing.

Just have an exit plan. Have your car keys handy or whatever. LEAVE...bolt...if it gets hard. Remember..exiting the situation is the answer...NOT drinking.

FreeOwl

don't let that AV trick ya, Jack.... sneaky bugger, that one. But remember that you're stonger, more clever, and WE HAVE GOT YOUR BACK.

So check back in and bail the scenario if you have to.

A simple "Hey, listen guys I'm sorry but I'm suddenly not feeling all that well. I'm gonna call it a night" is always a good backup plan if things are getting a little too hairy in your head.

Jack16

All good tonight. Had cokes and ate. Focussed on the music and the conversation for once!

Couldn't have done it without you all so thanks!

I know I should avoid bars but I don't want to stay in alone and I want to see my friends and that's where they generally go.

How'd other people deal with that?

Try18

A saying that in my experience has proved correct .... "You sit in the barbers chair long enough, you'll get a haircut."

If they are real friends they will happily meet you elsewhere. An alcoholic in a bar is just asking to pick up a drink. Maybe not today, but eventually. In my experience.

Stevie1

I'm past the age where my peers go to bars/drinking venues as a matter of course, but I remember it being an issue for me in previous periods of sobriety.

Two things helped: Making it very public that I was not drinking, and being the official designated driver. Which meant I had to stay until the bitter end and then drive stupid boring drunks home when the bars closed LOL but it was a pretty good strategy overall.

Proud of you for not drinking, Jack.

Ellay

Way to go, Jack ! Very proud of you.

Nuudawn

When I decided on sobriety...I knew I had to make it doable which meant I had to connect with other sober folks who were doing other things than sitting in pubs and bars. For me that answer was getting involved with a recovery group..but there are also other ways to meet folks making other, healthier lifestyle choices...sports, book groups etc.

Because you are right..you can't sit at home alone. You have to connect with others and build a life. I'm not saying dump your drinking friends but I would make a concerted effort to EXPAND your world...make it bigger. Don't try to do the same old things with the same old people ..sober. Go build new directions and solutions.

MavisTheFairy13

Well done jack I'm so pleased