Dojang

It has been just over 2 months since my break up. He relapsed and cheated. I was completely devastated and felt like I was falling into a deep depression. I isolated myself from friends & family and pretty much spent all of my free time laying on my couch, crying. The only time I was functioning was when my daughter was home (she spends 1/2 her time at her dad's, who is not an A). I was, and still am, in counseling with a therapist that deals with substance abuse. The counseling, and the work I am doing on my own, has really helped. Two months later & I am feeling MUCH better. I have been taking care of myself, working on myself and starting to heal. He and I still have contact, I know NC would be best, but that is impossible as we work in the same building, and occasionally together, live in the same neighborhood & our children are friends. I am no longer thinking about him all the time. I know he is still drinking, but that is not my issue. I know I will still have bad days & good days, but I am so glad I removed myself from the chaos. I do miss him, or at least who he used to be, but I'm happier alone than I was while with him. My life is much calmer now. I have always been an exercise nut, but began smoking again a couple of years ago. I have even managed to quit smoking in the last month. I cannot thank all of you enough for your support. I will continue to post on here and lean on you for support, and help others along the way. To all of you struggling, keep working on yourself. YOU are the only one you can change.

dandylion

Thanks, Dojang, for this very positive update! I am sure that it is very encouraging to others who are a few steps behind you.....

I know it must be more complicated by the fact that you are located so close together.

I think the future looks very good for you....especially, since you are working o n yourself so hard.
It is often said that we make the greatest strides in the time of crisis. It looks like you are an example of this.

do hang around...LOL! And...keep doing what you are doing....

dandylion

Dojang

Thank you Dandylion!!
I would like to add that he and I were together for just over 1 1/2 years. We were not married & do not have children together. There were a lot LESS issues to deal with than those of you that are married, have been together longer & have children together.

dandylion

DoJang....it IS so true that children add a whole new level of complication.

However...all break-ups are painful when one has invested themselves into the relationship...

Did you ever notice how m any song address the pain of a relationship that has gone south.....? (Taylor Swift)......(Hank Williams).......

dandylion

BrokenInPieces

Sounds like you're kickin' some butt with that black belt! Thank you for the positive update! You sound strong and like you're on a good path. Keep on keeping on! I'm a few months ahead, but maybe a couple steps behind. It really helps to hear words of encouragement.

FeliciaM

Thanks for your encouraging update! I'm about a month out and yesterday was the first day I did not obsess about my xabf.

Intellectually I know this is best but my heart and trust in him was crushed.

My best to you DoJang.

mischa1

Thank you for some light at the end of the tunnel. I still feel completely in darkness. Sad incredibly sad actually. I want the man I married back but I know it won't happen. I still have hope for some stupid reason but it fades a little everyday. I hope to post this for myself one day. Seeing it happen for someone else gives me hope that in 6 months I will be actually living again. Thank you. Please keep updating as it gives us that are in the dark a nightlight or even a match. It's enough for a me for now.