jarp

Seriously this has been one horrible year.

My AH finished his 6.5 week stint in rehab...and seems to have done really well. The DAY he finishes as he is walking out of the hospital he gets a call the - his dad (who has been terribly unwell, Jan this year was given 12-18 months to live) has taken a real turn for the worse and that he'd better get to him. He's 3.5 hours away. AH drove straight there, spent the night in hospital with his dad. He had a feeling all was not good, but was due to start outpatient today, so he drove all the way back....did his 4 hours of OP and as he walks out the door of that gets the call to drive back again as it looks like his dad has had a brain bleed in the hospital. Obviously it's not looking good.

I feel so bad for him....and his dad and his family. His other siblings are on their way home from overseas. He's estranged from them....seeing them now is going to cause him the most massive distress (he's also got BPD and won't cope with this)....of course they need to come home...I'm just acknowledging that a lot of AH's borderline tendencies focus on his siblings....and it's going to be hard for him.

This year has really sucked.

My dad died this year from Alzheimer's. He was not a nice man, he physically abused my mum and I, and for a year before he died got terribly aggressive to my mum, who is a good codie herself, and took it all, becaus he was 'sick'. This brought back trauma for me...then he died a horrible death. My relationship with my mum has been awfully strained.

My son was diagnosed with severe learning disabilities to go with the other SN's he has as a result of being premature.

My SN daughter has a congenital digestive disorder which was being controlled with medication, which is now no longer controlling her symptoms, and it causes her to vomit in her sleep multiple times a night. Until she finishes growing there's not much else we can do (she can have surgery later).

AH alocholism progressed during the year which caused our family terrible trauma. He lost his job.

I had to change jobs, new job is bloody awful most of the time.

We risk losing our home and everything else.

I can't wait for this year to be over. I really can't.

AH's dad was a funny old bugger....if BPD has a familial connection I can see where it's come from....but I was closer to him than my own dad. AH wouldn't let me go with him tonight. He has logical reasoning (kids are asleep in bed...would have had to find someone to come over in the night to baby sit). But I feel totally shut out. I know this time is not about me obviously...but I would have liked to have been there for him...and I'm reminded again that I have to stay at arms length.

This is a pity party post....I know I have a lot in life to be grateful for. I'm just tired...and hope 2015 brings a bit more of an even keeled life.

CodeJob

Jarp, hugs to you!

I will pray your H manages to keep his sobriety. I'll pray for you too!

SoberLeigh

((((jarp))))). I simply cannot imagine the strength it would take to meet the challenges you have met this year - and daily.

dandylion

jarp.....maybe look to the new year like this: Your hula hoop only contains you and your two children. Detach from everything that is not inside your own hula hoop. Focus only on your self and your babes. That is what will bring you through next year---everything else is just so much wasted energy.

Do I sound like a cold, mean old dandylion ?.....LOL! Probably so, to you. And, I do realize that such advice is easy to give, but, not so easy to do. On the other hand...you haven't seen "easy" in a very long time!

Seriously, jarp...think about what I just said.....

dandylion

hopeful4

(((Jarp)))

lizatola

I'm sorry, I've had years like that in the recent past. Huge hugs to you!!! ((Jarp))

Hawkeye13

(((Jarp)))

FeelingGreat

Jarp you have indeed had a rough year and you have all my admiration for your courage and fortitude. I'm sorry about your FIL. I hope that the feelings that surround death and funerals and the fact that your AH is sober will lead to a reconciliation of sorts with his siblings.

I hope next year will be more positive.

Calmwater

I'm so sorry. I've had years very similar to that, and I have children with LDs and health problems too. It's really tough! Some days it's just one foot in front of the other... We did get through, and learned how to manage things. My son with the autistic spectrum disorder and autoimmune issues is getting ready to start college this summer and is an awesome guy with a great sense of humor. My middle son, the one with asthma and dyslexia, is also doing well, and keeps us grounded with his thoughtfulness. My youngest struggled with breathing difficulties for his first four years, is now really healthy and amazes me with his determination and humor. Things aren't always easy, but they are so worth it! Best of luck to you. Hope the next year is an easier one.

redatlanta

My dear ((((lots 'o hugs)))). Had plenty of sh1t years. Keep the faith. Will say prayers for you and your family.

herradura

Jarp,

I am sorry for the struggles you are experiencing. I had a year like that in 2010. I mean it started off horrible, and then got worse. It got to a point I wanted to sell everything I had for 5 cents on the dollar and take my family with me and live in a cave on the Oregon coast. Not even a big cave, but somewhere where nothing else bad could happen. I remember not even drinking on New Years Eve, I just wanted a new year.

2011 Came in and almost magically things got better. A lot better. In retrospect 2010 was one of the best years in my life, because after I dealt with all the crap, I got so damn strong nothing could hurt me. I hope the same thing happens to you, the strength you gain. I honestly remember in 2010 after losing four people I just wanted people I loved to stop dying for a few months!! That's all I asked for!! The financial stuff, the business problems, the family stuff, I could handle it; but the people dying got old really quick.

It will get better, it has to!!!

Good luck.