230 days clean & sober...
painless
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: somerset
Posts: 138
230 days clean & sober...
Today is day 230... My first visitor of the day at my tattoo studio was my old Heroin dealer who just got out of jail... He had HOLIDAY HEROIN SPECIALS... lol... There was a time when i thought this man was my friend because he would come rushing to my every need and made sure i was never sick... Thats not a friend... A friend would never push poison on another friend... He said I looked great and that he was happy for me. Then with his second sentence he offered me a double bundle deal... Go figure... There was a time in my past where i would be clean for a good amount of time and the junkie in me would start thinking... IF I USE TODAY I CAN GET HIGH AND NOT USE TOMORROW SO I WONT CATCH A HABIT... I CAN CONTROL IT THIS TIME... YUP... THIS TIME ILL USE AND NOT LET IT CONTROL ME... ILL ONLY USE TODAY AND NOT TOMORROW... THEN THE DOPE WOULD NOT BE GOOD SO ID BUY MORE BECAUSE IM ONLY USING TODAY SO WHY NOT GET NICE AND HIGH... 3 DAYS LATER IM SICK AND BACK TO BUYING 2 TO 3 BUNDLES A DAY... People... it dont work like that and it never will... This is the first time in my recovery where im not even entertaining the thought of trying to use for just one day... my past has shown me IT NEVER WORKS AND THAT ADDICTION IS ONLY A BLINK AWAY... Ill keep my 230 clean days and not trade them for a day of being high... the only thing I truly miss from my entire lifes past has 2 initials... T.T. I JUST CANT LET MYSELF DOWN... I WORKED TOO HARD FOR THIS AND I EARNED IT THE HARD PAINFUL WAY... NOT A DAY CAN PASS WITHOUT MY THINKING OF WHAT MY LIFE COULD HAVE BEEN LIKE WITH A CERTAIN SOMEONE... I THINK NO MATTER WHAT THAT ILL ALWAYS FEEL LOST WITHOUT THOSE 2 INITIALS... Life can be funny cause ya never know what can happen... things from your past that you swore would never be good again can one day be even more beautiful then ever before... only time can tell... THANK YOU GOD FOR BEING THERE TODAY AND FOR GIVING ME EVEN MORE STRENGTH THEN I ALREADY HAD... 
God bless us all....
God bless us all....
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey PAINLESS66, congrats of the 230 days. You should feel very proud of your accomplishment!
~Nice job indeed~
This is the first time in my recovery where im not even entertaining the thought of trying to use for just one day...
~Nice job indeed~
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 174
Hey!
I'm right behind you, at 219 days.
I'm happy for you!
You entered in the stage when the rational voice is stronger than your AV. You're in charge and AV has less and less power over you.
Keep up with that strong mindset and congrats again!
I'm right behind you, at 219 days.
I'm happy for you!
You entered in the stage when the rational voice is stronger than your AV. You're in charge and AV has less and less power over you.
Keep up with that strong mindset and congrats again!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
That is great!!! You should be so proud of yourself, you have worked so hard for this.
Can I add a little levity? I just about spit my coffee out all over my computer when I read HOLIDAY HEROIN SPECIALS. Black Friday on the black market!
Anyway, back to the serious stuff, way to go, you are amazingly strong and proved it today.
Can I add a little levity? I just about spit my coffee out all over my computer when I read HOLIDAY HEROIN SPECIALS. Black Friday on the black market!
Anyway, back to the serious stuff, way to go, you are amazingly strong and proved it today.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
