kellyt98

I am new here. I am trying to figure out if my husband is a true alcoholic? He drinks just about everyday and he drinks at least a 12 pack. Some weeks are better than others. He is not agressive...he does not hide it.... It is just excessive. He has had many health problems at this point expect a slight liver issue and high blood pressure. We have a 7 month old and I have addressed him about his drinking and he said he would work on it. At first he did, but it had gotten worse again. I am not sure what to do. I am trying to catch this before it gets really bad. I have also said that I would not let my child grow up and be exposed to his habits. But that hasn't really effected him. I don't know what he needs from me. I am starting counseling next week. I haven't told him yet. I am not sure he thinks I am that concerned. Last night we went to the store and he ask can he buy beer. Why does he want permission. I am not his mom. Why can he just say NO. I don't understand this addicition. Please help

Gabe

Hey Kelly,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. If your husband's drinking is affecting your life, it's a problem. That being said, nothing you say or do is going to make him stop. That's something he has to want to do for himself.
Come join us on the Naranon and Friends and Family boards. There are a lot of people there who understand what you're going through.
Gabe

Dan

Hi Kelly,
You ask a question that no one can answer but himself.
It sounds like you've been clear about what you will not tolerate.
If he wants to go deeper in the pit of alcoholism, there's nothing you can really do to stop him. I went as deep as I could. Nothing could have stopped me.
Please visit the Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum.
Much support there.
And hope.
Welcome.

David 1

This is an often-asked question... Alcoholism is a disease that is hereditary in nature. Does he have family members that have a drinking problem?

I would urge you to talk to your husband about getting a chemical dependency evaluation. It is common for companies to offer Employee Assistance Programs and if an EAP is available, he may be able to get an evaluation for little or no charge (it may also be covered by your medical insurance). At least you would get a professional diagnosis and treatment recommendations.

I was in the same boat - I am married and we have a nine year old, but I drank when our son was your child's age. Believe the other posters - he needs to want to get help, and I mean not just to try and stop on his own - it is next to impossible to stop drinking without some form of treatment and AA support (read the twelve steps).

One other piece of advice; abstain from drinking yourself if you are not already, and don't fall into the O' Douls/Sharps trap. An alcoholic cannot drink - period.

He is truly missing out on a miracle - the growth of your child. I have been sober for ten months and am more involved in my son's life than I could have imagined...

Good luck - I am sure others here will provide advice also; this is a great community with plenty of resources and kind-hearted members.

Dave