Jeremiah2911

It's truth day. I haven't started a thread in a very long time. I've been "lurking"-reading posts and commenting on threads that I felt a connection to and telling myself that I'm doing well just because I keep coming back here.

The truth is I HAVE made a major change. Not a drop of wine since September 12 and that's huge because I was drinking anywhere from 1-3 bottles a night. So proud of myself...except that I've started drinking beer and the amount is just increasing.

I have told myself that it's much less alcohol content (and it is). I don't get drunk (just a buzz) so it's SO MUCH BETTER. I have been lying to myself and last night, I bit the dust bad. My husband is gone overnight and I couldn't join him. I had an absolutely horrendous day at work that ended up with me walking out 15 minutes early, crying and I cried all the way home. i drank a six-pack, went to bed and woke up about 3 hours later. I started crying so hard that I almost couldn't breathe. Felt so alone and so angry at myself and it was so clear to me that this is of my own doing. AND THAT I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP IT.

I have major surgery in less than a month and I need to be as healthy as I can be. I need to NOT drink anything with alcohol.

I apologize to all of you that I offered advice to while hiding the fact that I was still drinking. It's so easy to hide behind a facade on the internet.

My plan is to go with a friend today to the tea store. I am going to buy fresh tea leaves in various wonderful flavors and stock up on them. I need to keep things in the house that are good for me to drink. I am going to spend some time with friends today and then I am going to join my husband and see my precious daughter and grandkids.

I am humbly asking for your prayers, your support and your understanding. You have all come to mean a lot to me over the last couple of months and I want to be REAL with you.

Thanks for listening

ArtFriend

Thanks for coming clean. That was probably very hard to do. Now be honest with yourself. Take care

Gilmer

Thanks for your honesty, lady! Consider this a new beginning.

razor15

It's okay by me, Jeremiah. The important thing is it sounds like you have your own path forward. We are all fallible here. :-)
Let's us know any great teas you'd recommend!

Soberwolf

Hi Jeremiah i thought that post was very heartfelt you have realised you are having problems no matter what when it comes to alcohol Time to stop its not the way

i send all my thoughts and prayers

goodluck jeremiah and please continue to post your being very brave

dcrr

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Don't be too hard on yourself - just pick up and look forward. Thanks for such open honesty!

IOAA2

Hi.
I felt a large relief when I started to get honest with myself about my drinking. The next thing I needed to do was ACCEPT the fact I cannot drink ANY alcohol in safety.
Then the work started to not drink on a day at a time basis AND make changes in my way of doing things that triggered my drinking. It all takes time but has been done by millions so keep trying and keep coming as life does get much better IF we let it.

BE WELL

MIRecovery

I found AA to be the only long term solution for me. Will power is important but it was never enough. I just couldn't do it on my own.

Welcome to sobriety!

Dee74

The fact you were drinking doesn't necessarily negate your advice.

I was always able to see someone else's situation with a clarity I could somehow never bring to my own....:

I'm just glad you're back - and yeah beer is just as bad as anything else, Jeremiah. I nearly killed myself on beer.

D

Jeremiah2911

Wow...thank you, all of you. I am still crying and can't seem to stop but I don't feel alone anymore. You are all blessings to me and I thank God for bringing me to SR.

Meraviglioso

I went through the same thing. I too chose wine as my drink of choice and also was drinking between 1-3 bottles a day. I tried switching to beer but ended up exactly where you are now. We just cannot drink alcohol in any form.
Tea is a great idea. I have found that having another drink and holding it in the same high esteem that I held alcohol provides a similar satisfaction that alcohol once did. I do enjoy soda water with lime, it is a good replacement. But tea, you go and select from a variety of flavors, qualities and price ranges. It takes time and effort to acquire and prepare. It is relaxing or stimulating depending on your mood and if you choose herbal or caffeinated. Enjoy!

Alynn

You will feel so much better after leaving the beer behind also!

I can do all things through he who strengthens me

CristinaN

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I love this verse. Praying for you.

Wastinglife

During the worst of my drinking, I was putting back a fifth of vodka daily minimum. Alcohol-induced Hepatitis (inflammed liver) and a trip to the hospital raised some issues and in my alcoholic mind the solution was to switch to beer. Well, that really made no difference. I just drank a heck of a lot of beer to get the equivalent buzz and nothing changed.

Doesn't matter what you drink. Its all the same poison and has the same ending. Complete abstinence is the only thing that works.

Anna

Jeremiah, you are not alone. I'm really glad that you posted and that you are honest with yourself about what's been happening. I hope things work out at your job.

airwick

Like it is said, so many times. YOU have to want to do this for YOU. I

appreciate that you are sorry for being dishonest.

This dishonesty didn't harm any of us . It just hurts you

I'm glad to hear that you are back on track!!

HeadLump

You are with people who understand, Jeremiah, and who will be rooting for you all the way

fridgey

kick the beer to the kerb, you should realise by reducing to beer you lessened your detox and that was a good thing but now you want more so put it out there. That is celebration of your self to be more part of life and I salute you Jerramiah.

FeelingGreat

I'm so glad you've had this crisis to make you realise what's happening. Tea is a good substitute for wine. I used to sit down with a glass of wine, same spot, turn the telly on. I kept the relaxing habit, but substituted tea for wine, and it was just as relaxing.

Hawks

Well said Jeremiah.

God does have plans for you

He brought you here & thats a good start