blessed4x

My AH has at times denied doing things, or "forgotten" things, but in the past week things seem different. Today I went to get some tea out of the fridge and noticed there were 2 pitchers. I asked him if he had made the second one and if it was a different kind (we have peach and raspberry), and he said he didn't make it. He said the pitcher was sitting on the counter already made and he put it in the fridge. I know I didn't make it, and no one else was here that would've. He also went across the street to talk with the neighbors and came back and asked what the football score was. I told him same as when he left and he said the game wasn't on when he left. We had an entire conversation about a questionable penalty.

Anyway....not that it matters for me. I'm working my own program, getting counseling, and doing the best I can while living with an active AH. Just wondering if that's what a blackout is like. While I'm sure he was drinking, because he does daily, he did not sound or appear drunk....so not sure if I should be worried about other possible medical issues.

MissFixit

If he has noticeable memory loss, he should get checked out by a neurologist. His pcp can refer him.

blessed4x

The problem is he doesn't think he has memory loss, and getting him to go to a doctor for anything until it is a major emergency is next to impossible. I have told him I'm concerned and he just blows it off like its nothing. I guess if he isn't worried about it I shouldn't be....

ShootingStar1

I think there is a distinction in there somewhere. He can refuse to admit that anything is wrong and can choose to do nothing. AND, you don't have to believe him that it is nothing if you see that it IS something. You can trust your own perceptions. What is it they say in that country song: "Don't trust your lying eyes"... or something like that?

That's what led me down the garden path of not believing what I saw, then not believing what I knew to be true, then not believing that I knew much of anything at all...

ShootingStar1

Ixi

When XABF was withdrawing, he had terrible short-term memory loss. He once walked down the block to check the mail three or four times in one day-and I know he hadn't drank anything that day.

Alcohol effs with your brain. In every way.

Stevie1

Strictly speaking, a blackout is not memory loss.

It is actually a failure to record memories. The memories cannot be lost, because they were never remembered in the first place.

blessed4x

Thank you Stevie1....yes, he had absolutely no recollection, and it has been happening with increased frequency recently. It's as if he hasn't a clue what I'm talking about. Isn't angry or defensive, just very matter-of-factly dismisses it as if I'm the one confused. Sad.

maia1234

I call it brain fog. My stbxah has had to take in a lot of financial stuff because of the divorce. He remembers nothing. Then tells me that I don't explain it right.

He even got the house closing date wrong and asked why I changed it. I faxed him a copy of the form with his signature on it with the dates on it. I figure his brain is like swiss cheese. Lots of holes and he is not grasping anything. This disease sucks!!!