215 days clean & sober...
painless
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: somerset
Posts: 138
215 days clean & sober...
Made it to 215 days CLEAN & SOBER and as I look back to my past the only real regrets I have are the Pain Ive caused others. I never had to steal to get my fix nor pawn anything ive ever owned. I always had a good paying job where money was not a problem... The LIES & DECIET were my problems... Its easy to say IM SORRY... You have to mean it and you have to do all you can to earn back what it is that you lost. Not everyone will be willing to forgive you at first and some may never. Some will feel strongly that your only going to relapse and be a junkie again and again so those are the people you need not worry too much about. You have to allow time and many good deeds to come to the surface first before even people that do like you will take notice. And this is by far not a game of GAINED GOODIE TWO SHOE POINTS!!! I see ex users all the time posting on Facebook just how good their doing and how great life is without using drugs and that others should follow their lead and BLAH BLAH BLAH... many of them are significant in what their letting pour outta their mouths but many also are total Hypocrites that I factually know were high while they were posting their clean... if your doing good and staying clean then you and only you know what the truth is. Keep doing all it is that works for you and dont let anyone drag you down... Me... Ill be totally honest with you guys n gals.. Theres not a day that passes by where I dont think about either using or what it used to be like to use.. When the urge comes for me to want to use I simply take a break from whatever it is that has my mind occupied and I take a deep breath and hold it till im dizzy... by doing that i get some type of head buzz that only lasts a few seconds and as it passes so does my urge to use. Im not cured in any form of the word. I will be an addict till the day I take my last breath. I just pray I wont be a user ever again because of how hard Ive worked to get back all that I allowed the needle to take from me. I AM COMPLETELY 110% DRUG FREE. I do not take any opiates or soboxin, methadone, etc... I dont even like taking baby aspirin... I eat good, I work out everyday and i work 10 hours a day tattooing. I save my money for a better future and I only spend the money my clients tip me for things I need. I used to waste $200.00 a day minimum buying dope and had nothing to show for it ever. Last time I used i was on a 4 to 5 month bender where if you do the math at minimum $200.00 a day youll see what I spent... Now I live my life how I want to live it. I dont wake up shaking and puking looking for a bag of dope or the cotton from my last shot. I dont spend hours daily trying to get better dope then the last hook up. I wake up every morning verses coming too... One thing I know is YOU HAVE TO WANT TO LIVE A TOTALLY CLEAN AND DRUG FREE LIFE in order for any type of success... My father told me many years ago when he kicked a 5 year heroin habit from Vietnam... FREE YOUR MIND SON AND YOUR ASS WILL SURLEY FOLLOW... so... Im freeing up this mind... praying good things will continue to happen... God bless us all... Painless
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