Big thanks for all the support last night
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Big thanks for all the support last night
You guys got me through, and tonight was easier. I'm learning a lot right now. I realized that my cravings start in the afternoon when I start thinking about leaving work and picking up my daughter, driving home, putting stuff away, cooking dinner, packing lunches, cleaning, laundry, dishes, all the things I have to remember, and battling a three year old. Coming home in the evening really stresses me out, and that's when I want to drink. Once I'm done and my daughter's in bed, the cravings stop. I feel like a jerk for not enjoying time with my family, but I just don't. It's overwhelming. My husband doesn't usually get home until late and is too tired to help. He does help on the weekends though. So the time I want to drink is when I am stressing about having to deal with all the domestic stuff alone. This gives me some direction as to what I should be working on in therapy. I feel like I am learning new things every day right now. It hurts something fierce, but I guess that's how we grow.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 267
The comedian Louis CK has a bit where he talks about how you can look at your kids and have two equal thoughts simultaneously (paraphrasing): "I love you beyond words, I love OTHER people more because of how much I love you, the very fact of your existence has made me a better, more worthwhile person, and I regret every decision that led to your birth." That sounds so terrible but it makes me laugh anyway because I understand it :-) Hang in there, Briar. It sounds like you're making some hugely useful connections this week. It can't help but help. . . .
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Briar 
It hurts something fierce, but I guess that's how we grow.
Somehow ..we need to accept and allow what is..without the resistance..the fighting against it.
I think the answer is in there somewhere...as I sit and struggle against my own "what is" this very moment.
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Haha pupkin, it's so true! I love my daughter more than anything, but sometimes I'm like "what was I thinking?!" Parenthood is ridiculous. 
Nuudawn I know what you mean. It's hard to give up the control and let things be what they are. That's scary. I was raised by an alcoholic parent, and everything had to be carefully balanced and controlled to keep him okay. I think that's probably where I got it. Then I go and start the same stuff in my own family, you'd think I'd know better.
Nuudawn I know what you mean. It's hard to give up the control and let things be what they are. That's scary. I was raised by an alcoholic parent, and everything had to be carefully balanced and controlled to keep him okay. I think that's probably where I got it. Then I go and start the same stuff in my own family, you'd think I'd know better.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
