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Considering trying AGAIN with sobriety :-(

Old 10-14-2014, 06:14 PM
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Considering trying AGAIN with sobriety :-(

Hi everyone! I've had an account with Sober Recovery for almost a year now and stopped using it after relapsing back to drinking. I'm in my 20s and have had a drinking problem for a long time. After failing horribly at my first attempt to get sober, a year later, I'm considering quitting drinking....again.... I know I'm going to have to start all over with the withdrawal symptoms and I'll probably be so irritable that I'll be biting people's heads off if they even look at me the wrong way lol!! But I was sober for 96 days last time, and I would like to say that it felt great being sober, but dealing with life without alcohol was horrendous, but I'm sure it would have gotten better if I hadn't given up. But here I am, willing to try again.. Any thoughts on motivation for trying again to get sober? Thank you! 😊
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Old 10-14-2014, 06:19 PM
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Welcome back!

You can do it again, and you can make it last this time.

You said dealing with life without alcohol was horrendous, and I wonder if you were able to make any changes in your life besides stopping drinking? Did you take up any new activities, spend time with people without alcohol being around, anything to help you to deal with daily life more easily?
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Old 10-14-2014, 06:28 PM
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Good for you for trying again.

One day at a time.

You can do it!!!!
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Old 10-14-2014, 06:28 PM
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Hi Anna! Well, to be honest I didn't do much differently when I wasn't drinking except I ate a lot more and drank more coffee! As far as my day to day life, I really didn't change things a whole lot and felt really bored and always on edge because I was terrified I was going to go buy a drink. I always had the urge and felt like I couldn't even go out or I would drink. I even avoided going to the store a lot of times!
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Old 10-14-2014, 06:38 PM
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Welcome back! A lot of great support and encouragement here. Keep reading and posting, especially when you feel that little devil on your shoulder trying to convince you "just one"!! Every journey begins with a single step.
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Old 10-14-2014, 06:51 PM
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Hey jmbrandon87,

I just wanted to wish you well, if you do in fact decide to stop. 96 days is a good amount of time and one you should be proud of. Just because you slipped for a bit, that does not mean things will be the same this time. You're a little older and wiser. Wise enough to realize that there's a problem that needs some attention, and at an early age. Another thing to be proud of.

It's tough and it does tend to suck for a while, but it's so worth it.
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Old 10-14-2014, 06:56 PM
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Welcome back jmbrandon,

You say that dealing with life without alcohol was horrendous but wouldn't you agree that dealing with life with alcohol is way, way worse? Sure, it acted as a crutch for a while but man, I just couldn't continue on with a killer hangover every day of the week.

I'll bet that those 96 days weren't so bad if you really think about it. I do know you didn't have any hangovers during that time. Alcohol worked for me for a long time. I used to love nothing more than getting home and pouring that first drink. Up until a few years ago I felt great while drinking: happy, jovial, relaxed but that stopped working. Is alcohol still working for you? Probably not if you're on here reaching out for support.

I'm just a handful of years older than you at 32. Maybe I'm what you'd be if you kept drinking three or four more years. It doesn't get any better. My tolerance kept inching up and so my intake kept inching up and the hangovers kept inching up. There was no turning the ship around unless I just cut it out of my life completely. I've found sobriety to be kinda beige and fine. I'm not one of those people that does cartwheels around the room with how wonderful life without alcohol but it's a quiet and calm peace. I feel much better at work, that's for sure. I'm also not as angry at the world anymore.

We have to stop drinking sometime unless we want serious health problems, career disasters, and loss of meaningful relationships. I know some people can drink alcoholically for twenty or thirty years but you don't meet many people who drank alcoholically longer than that because they're dead. There is a powerful post on here this evening about a 24 year old teacher who died from drinking two bottles of wine a night for only four years.
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Old 10-14-2014, 06:59 PM
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Nice to meet you
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Old 10-14-2014, 07:04 PM
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Welcome back, jmbrandon87! Why the frowny face in the title? Trying for sobriety sure sounds like good news to me! Stick around and I'm sure you'll find lots of help and support.
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Old 10-14-2014, 07:18 PM
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I'm really happy to see you back jm. You said you felt great sober but had difficulty adjusting to your new life. I do think it takes longer than 96 days to change our way of doing things. You're right, it does get better once we begin to heal. You can do it this time. Keep posting. We're with you.
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Old 10-14-2014, 07:45 PM
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Its a lie, straight up. I continue to deal with relapses and sure it feels good, smooths the edges for a while and I have a few good nights.. thats it. After the second or third night its all about pushing back the hangovers and maintenance drinking, its no longer fun. And the wallet keeps turning out twenties and fifties and hundreds and pretty soon Im broke bumming beers from my friends, not having any fun at all just obsessing over the next drink and im always the last guy standing, chain smoking and out of alcohol trying to figure out how I got into this mess..

From there, the psychosis sets in. I can't sleep. I hear voices and am suspicious of everybody. Normally at this point life at work becomes almost unbearable because of the withdrawal, I isolate myself from my friends and obsess over all the negative in my life and the world almost to the brink of insanity. In fact I'm sure at that point I am either schizophrenic or clinically insane..

Only to dry out for a week or so, with a strong resolve to quit for good, and the first beer that's offered to me I say "yes" and repeat the horrendous process over and over again. For years..

That's not an ideal way to deal with life issues, and even though you may or may not be in the advanced stages yet, it will happen, so quit while you can this disease plays for blood and our lives are far too precious to play Russian roulette with alcohol.

Put the drink down and put it down for good!

Last edited by sectownkid; 10-14-2014 at 07:49 PM. Reason: tpyo
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Old 10-14-2014, 10:51 PM
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Hi

Good for you. Better alive and sober than drunk and dead.
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Old 10-14-2014, 11:45 PM
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Originally Posted by sectownkid View Post

From there, the psychosis sets in. I can't sleep. I hear voices and am suspicious of everybody. Normally at this point life at work becomes almost unbearable because of the withdrawal, I isolate myself from my friends and obsess over all the negative in my life and the world almost to the brink of insanity. In fact I'm sure at that point I am either schizophrenic or clinically insane..
After lots of research, I had also diagnosed myself as either bipolar or schizophrenic when I was drinking heavily every night. I was a complete and utter mess. I would cry suddenly, have maniacal thoughts, racing thoughts, bouts of uncontrollable anger. My behavior was increasingly erratic. My heart would race and I could not calm down without drinking.

After almost four months of sobriety I am now pretty calm and present in a normal, boring way and I like it. When you are an active, daily alcoholic you feel like your head might explode. Or will your liver give out first? No, it's definitely the mental terror that's going send you over the edge. At what point? Who knows.....I was very mentally ill when I was drinking.

Alcoholism makes you feel like you're going insane.
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Old 10-15-2014, 01:47 AM
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Hi! What things did you find hard to deal with last time when you were sober? Are those things still around? I'm finding it easier to deal with things sober as when I was drinking I would just not deal with them lol. Do you really feel that life is worse without alcohol? What are your reasons for wanting to stop? Do you really want to stop? Or do you think you should stop? I've tried in the past and failed and to be honest I didn't really want to stop drinking. I felt I should stop as I knew it was bad for my health. But if someone had told me I could carry on drinking forever and never suffer any health problems because of it then I would have carried on. In the end I just realised that I can be happy without it, I can deal with stress without it (I'm not saying it's easy) and I feel mentally and physically healthier without it. I am on day 7 and finally have some energy. And the money I'm saving, around £200 a month, can be put to much better use!
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Old 10-15-2014, 09:35 AM
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Welcome back!!

I like to keep in mind that before I knew what alcohol was I didn't need it to get through the day, there are many people who don't need it and so we also need to learn once again how to do, other mechanisms, other tools to deal with life, as there will be ups and downs even in Sobriety!!

You can do this!!
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