livingnow

Since Sept 21 2014 I have drank only 3 times. once night a week. Before that it was absolutely nightly...so thats a start....but not where I need to be.
I feel soooo much better since I dont drink each night...its a motivator to stop.
ok...
That said, Ive been mentally wrestling this morning with posting this.(pride)
"what will they thinK??- I mean "I was doing so well...etc"

SO I log on here this morning read a few posts .....wrestling.....
I come across Dee's signature which might as well said" ATTENTION LIVINGNOW drop your pride and post your "failure" this morning.

The signature reads:

"The only real failure, is the failure to try, the measure of success is how we deal with failure "

So Im choosing to post this- admitting to myself 1st, then you all that I choose to deal with this failure (btw it IS a failure because I know better) by posting this and no longer drinking.
BTW mild hangover this morning.... wont miss this crappy feeling.
Thank you for listening my fellow SR people!

luvmygirls

I am right there with you, livingnow. I was doing well with 16 days and then BAM, made the choice to drink a week ago, and now it all sucks again. I can't seem to get my head right to start back on Day 1. Thank you for posting, it definitely made me feel less alone. We can do this. It might take a few stumbles, but I do believe it will happen...we just have to keep recalibrating with a new approach. Hang in there, and take care.

ScottFromWI

Honesty, especially with ourselves, is the cornerstone of sobriety I believe, Congrats on being honest. What do you think you can do differently this time so you can achieve you real goal of total sobriety?

Soberwolf

well done good luck

Mark1014

Good morning guys, although having to start over again can be a disappointment, I believe that at some point the accumulation of efforts will be enough to somehow 'flip the switch' and the sobriety sticks. What's so tough is whether that will be after the 10th attempt or the 117th. But the fact is that if you we don't keep trying, we'll never reach our goal. Today is 11th day of I don't know how many tries....but I'm gonna give it my all. Don't give up guys.

Dee74

Hi Livingnow...

while I can't take credit for the signature (The Most Exotic Hotel Marigold is a wonderful movie though) I picked it out because it spoke to me... and I'm glad it spoke to you too.

There is just one thing...the last part of the quote is 'disappointment' not failure...

I've no doubt you're disappointed, but don't dwell too much on 'failure' ...I learned a heck of a lot from my many many many mistakes

welcome back!

D

Anna

I'm glad you posted this.

Is there something you can do to stop from drinking one night a week? I'm glad you\re committed to sobriety.

Change4good

Good for you. Accountability helps.

livingnow

Yes. I "reward" myself on Friday nights....for not drinking all week, for working hard all week. Plus , thats the one night Im here alone (boredom).
I simply need to say no to the thought pattern of waiting, looking forward to - Friday night and alcohol as the reward.

Mark1014

If I 'rewarded' myself in that way I know my thoughts would be dominated by alcohol. I'm trying so hard this time to have sweet sobriety at center of my thoughts. I'm rooting for you. Hang in there and don't give up.

livingnow

thank you 1 and all.
I needed to come clean.
now I can stay here on SR with a clean conscience.

Briar

You are right to be vigilant. I blew 7 months sober last year on one tiny drink, and very slowly built up to my worst ever. It creeps in slowly, don't let it slip by you like I did.