walkinganewpath

So today I'm struggling with this one too. I am working on recovering from drinking myself - although I think my issue is more related to AH and my own codie issues.

He relapsed. Our friends and family are in the loop on his having just returned from rehab. I think we both need to talk about anything other than recovery with these individuals. I am going to al-anon, lurking and sporadically posting here and seeing a therapist.

He is ...well I'm not sure - so far he has been to one meeting in the 7 days since he got home.

I want to respect his privacy and recovery process and am also tired about talking about this with people in my 'real life' so to speak. I feel that I can find what I need that way at my meetings, here, therapy and etc.

I know there are people concerned about us and who genuinely care but I can't share all all the time with everyone.

How do you handle deciding what to share and with whom?

MissFixit

There are no real rules about telling people things, but as I have improved over the years with my boundaries, I tell people much less and do not rely on others to validate me. As you grow in alanon and therapy you will probably create more and more boundaries (at least firmer ones) about what is your business and what is others' business.

Addiction thrives in secrecy, so I would not keep things secret per se. Your journey is yours and your husband's journey is his. Keeping on your side of the street is important.

I would probably talk with your husband about what you tell others regarding him (if these are his friends).

Bernadette777

Congrats Sir. All the best in your new employment. Big hug & high five to you
Bernadette777

Bamawife

Personally, I have only shared with my family, one employee and one friend who lives in another state. These are people I trust to listen but they do not meddle in it. For me, it is a private matter. Good luck!