Insights on first day of sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 387
Insights on first day of sobriety
Hello SR Community! I must say, it is difficult to write about my issues even in such a safe environment, so please bear with me if I ramble.
I'm looking for help or insights on my first step: one day sober.
Why: Briefly, I drink far more than I want to, i.e. daily. It has not harmed me professionally or socially (yet) but I don't like it because it dulls the spirit and kills my joy and optimism.
What: I've considered AA, but I have massive issues opening up to people, especially ones I do not know well. I once read Carr's book which actually worked for me. Silly me, against all advice, I used it to take a six month break to get a 'handle' on things and then went back in a more 'moderate' manner. Did not work for me. I have recently started seeing a councilor who has encouraged me to connect with others. She suggested online communities given my anxieties. So here I am.
Request: I've read a bit on the forums and there is some great information, even more empathy and a wonderful sense of community. I've read a lot of stories of courageous people getting sober after what I would call a bad incident. What I am looking for are ideas and insights on actually how people may have reached the first day or two sober without such a trigger. Any ideas welcome!
Thanks!
KP
I'm looking for help or insights on my first step: one day sober.
Why: Briefly, I drink far more than I want to, i.e. daily. It has not harmed me professionally or socially (yet) but I don't like it because it dulls the spirit and kills my joy and optimism.
What: I've considered AA, but I have massive issues opening up to people, especially ones I do not know well. I once read Carr's book which actually worked for me. Silly me, against all advice, I used it to take a six month break to get a 'handle' on things and then went back in a more 'moderate' manner. Did not work for me. I have recently started seeing a councilor who has encouraged me to connect with others. She suggested online communities given my anxieties. So here I am.
Request: I've read a bit on the forums and there is some great information, even more empathy and a wonderful sense of community. I've read a lot of stories of courageous people getting sober after what I would call a bad incident. What I am looking for are ideas and insights on actually how people may have reached the first day or two sober without such a trigger. Any ideas welcome!
Thanks!
KP
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Welcome to SR!
Your username is partially the answer. For the first few days, when you stop you have to push trough and endure the discomfort.
Many of us posted here like crazy not avoid going insane and keep our resolve. Support is key, and we are here to help you.
Post away!
Your username is partially the answer. For the first few days, when you stop you have to push trough and endure the discomfort.
Many of us posted here like crazy not avoid going insane and keep our resolve. Support is key, and we are here to help you.
Post away!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: CO, USA
Posts: 145
It might help to plan out alternate activities for a few days-- things that are gratifying but in a different way that you're used to. Maybe the gym, a long walk, go to the movies or even a museum or concert. See if you can find things to keep yourself busy that will leave you feeling relaxed and like you accomplished something.
I finally sealed the deal and stopped drinking at a time when I was starting a new job in a new country. It definitely has helped me to be away from locations and people that act as triggers!
I finally sealed the deal and stopped drinking at a time when I was starting a new job in a new country. It definitely has helped me to be away from locations and people that act as triggers!
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
I was desparate and breaking down. I had various aches and pains, hangovers, unstable moods- my 'high functioning' status wasn't looking too good- even i didn't believe it anymore.
I had tried moderating, drug substitution, fitness programs, some counselling, setting goals, rules etc, meditating blah blah nothing worked for any length of time
It was just another terrible monday- totally non productive- had run out of steam, waiting for my stomach to explode. I stopped fighting and decided to take whatever came- and within a day even though i was in withdrawal- i felt different about 'my situation' than i had ever before. By then i had started reading the Big Book and decided i would embrace sobriety rather than give up drinking- it worked.
I joined SR shortly afterwards.
I had tried moderating, drug substitution, fitness programs, some counselling, setting goals, rules etc, meditating blah blah nothing worked for any length of time
It was just another terrible monday- totally non productive- had run out of steam, waiting for my stomach to explode. I stopped fighting and decided to take whatever came- and within a day even though i was in withdrawal- i felt different about 'my situation' than i had ever before. By then i had started reading the Big Book and decided i would embrace sobriety rather than give up drinking- it worked.
I joined SR shortly afterwards.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: FPO
Posts: 119
Hi Keep!
I'm like you - a "yet" or a high bottom (Oh, how I wish that described my rear end). I never got in trouble really, I know I disgusted a few people. I was dumb and irresponsible and I am very thankful I never got caught or called out on it.
I did go to AA. I was terrified to do so - I was even terrified to call! Looking back, I can't imagine why. What's worse - being drunk all the time (and I bet plenty of people knew it) or getting help? I wish I could have seen that then
Oh and the people at AA are a mixed bag, but overall wonderful and helpful people and I share a bond with them I share with no one else.
I can guarantee you this - if you do not get help, you will hit a bottom. It may be just something unacceptable to you, or if you let things go, it could be something that would really hurt you or someone else. Alcoholism takes any chance to grow as a force within you - I am sure you have seen how it has progressed for you so far.
Big hugs. Hope to hear more from you and how you are doing.
Beth
I'm like you - a "yet" or a high bottom (Oh, how I wish that described my rear end). I never got in trouble really, I know I disgusted a few people. I was dumb and irresponsible and I am very thankful I never got caught or called out on it.
I did go to AA. I was terrified to do so - I was even terrified to call! Looking back, I can't imagine why. What's worse - being drunk all the time (and I bet plenty of people knew it) or getting help? I wish I could have seen that then
Oh and the people at AA are a mixed bag, but overall wonderful and helpful people and I share a bond with them I share with no one else.I can guarantee you this - if you do not get help, you will hit a bottom. It may be just something unacceptable to you, or if you let things go, it could be something that would really hurt you or someone else. Alcoholism takes any chance to grow as a force within you - I am sure you have seen how it has progressed for you so far.
Big hugs. Hope to hear more from you and how you are doing.
Beth
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Welcome! I always drank in secret and was as high-functioning as it gets, especially the first time I tried to quit. The only person who ever suggested I stop drinking...even to this day...is my husband, because he was the one who found the bottles all over the house. While I was actively drinking, I was promoted several times at work, earned a masters with a 4.0 average (paid for, in full, by my employer), received outstanding performance awards, ran marathons, etc. You get the picture. Meanwhile, I was a mess (I still am, but now I am not drinking, ha!) I can now see the progressive nature of the disease, and even though I may remain outwardly functional, I'm convinced that I will continue to spiral down into despair and lose everything if I continue drinking.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
If you have the opportunity to quit drinking before things get out of control, I hope you take it. I wish I had, but I continued to spiral down.
And, I'm glad you like the sense of community here. We are a family and we really do understand.
And, I'm glad you like the sense of community here. We are a family and we really do understand.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
welcome keeppushing
I think most people tend to think of hitting bottom as an event - but it can be a simple decision not to live that way of life anymore.
The two things I always recommend for success are finding support (and using it); and making the necessary changes in your life to back up your decision to get and stay sober.
Look at your lifestyle, look at your social circle, look at the way you deal with crises or stress or boredon, anxiety or anger, look at your ideas of celebration and fun...
Change is not always easy but it is possible
Request: I've read a bit on the forums and there is some great information, even more empathy and a wonderful sense of community. I've read a lot of stories of courageous people getting sober after what I would call a bad incident. What I am looking for are ideas and insights on actually how people may have reached the first day or two sober without such a trigger. Any ideas welcome!
The two things I always recommend for success are finding support (and using it); and making the necessary changes in your life to back up your decision to get and stay sober.
Look at your lifestyle, look at your social circle, look at the way you deal with crises or stress or boredon, anxiety or anger, look at your ideas of celebration and fun...
Change is not always easy but it is possible
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,572
Welcome to SR KP.
I think reading & posting here will really help. I'm glad you want to make this big change in your life. Thankfully, you see where this is headed if you don't stop. There was a time when I had some control, but over the years I became completely dependent on it. This won't happen to you.
I think reading & posting here will really help. I'm glad you want to make this big change in your life. Thankfully, you see where this is headed if you don't stop. There was a time when I had some control, but over the years I became completely dependent on it. This won't happen to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 387
Originally Posted by Thomasthetank 
Welcome, how's your withdrawal going?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 387
Originally Posted by Hevyn
Welcome to SR KP.
I think reading & posting here will really help. I'm glad you want to make this big change in your life.
I think reading & posting here will really help. I'm glad you want to make this big change in your life.
Thanks all!
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