Carpathia

I attended an AA meeting today. A fellow with scant months more sobriety than me chirped up about how great everything is going, his kids appreciate him, he couldn't be happier, etc., etc.

If he had said a goose laid a golden egg in his mailbox, or that he won the Nobel, it wouldn't have seemed off theme.

And it got me thinking....really?!?!

My early sobriety has been....not so easy, putting it mildly. I realize everybody comes to sobriety with their unique issues, but does this fellow's experience sound typical of those approaching one year sober?

If so, maybe I need to reconsider what I'm doing and how I'm doing it.

Of course, I could just let it go.

Or! Or I could speak up at meetings and offer an alternative perspective (which, admittedly, I haven't been doing at this particular meeting).

Soberwolf

Everybody is diffrent

FreeOwl

yep, everyone's different and also everyone goes through ups and downs. I have felt like that guy at times. I have also felt like utter crap at times.

but whatever the case for someone else - it doesn't mean you're better, lesser, behind them, not doing it right, or any other 'me versus them' comparison.

ayo

sometimes the person who is quick to insist that they are happy and everything is fine! just fine!-- those people are only trying to convince themselves by making the proclamation as loudly and as often as possible.

and sometimes the person in question is just..... joyous and is so taken with this feeling that they have to share it with the world.

heartcore

I think it is important to share that sobriety is difficult/challenging at meetings. If someone is early in sobriety & hearing only the narrative of happiness, they may think that their own struggles signify some sort of failure in sobriety.

We aren't just at meetings to receive support; a primary purpose of meetings is to be available to the newcomer. I believe we need to represent with a whole collective buffet of experience & emotion, so they can see their experience reflected.

The gift of sobriety is the ability to both deeply feel and to move through your actual experience in this lifetime - joy & sorrow, fear & triumph, despair & hope.

When certain folks only share the positive, I always wonder at how limited & limiting it would be to not dance through the whole fascinating universe of feeling.

Anna

My early recovery was not pink cloudish at all. I had so much guilt and shame that it was a struggle to stay positive and get through the day. In some ways, I think it was good though, because my recovery was a slow and steady road. I don't use AA, but I managed to find tools that kept me inching forward.

Tang

The outwardly happy are miserable souls. I know I was. Now I'm outwardly curmudgeonly and much happier internally.

MIRecovery

Early sobriety was not all rainbows and unicorns for me. Sobriety beat drinking but that is about as good as it got. Slowly very slowly the gifts of sobriety started to emerge. At first I didn't recognize them but as time went on they became more and more obvious.

Today I am happier than at any point in my life

Alynn

Ya not all sunshine and rainbows here either... The underlying issues are still issues but I'm dealing with them differently.....

I can do all things through he who strengthens me