Finding Yourself
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Finding Yourself
I think the weirdest thing for me as I got sober was finding out who I am. It tool a while for the alcoholic thoughts and the part of me that shared negative thoughts with the alcoholic to leave. And then I started understanding what thoughts were my true thoughts outside of alcohol. And I started to see that I actually was a decent person with a somewhat funny sense of humor and a lot of dreams and plans that I feared before.
What have you learned about yourself?
Beth
What have you learned about yourself?
Beth
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Alcohol for me, I released was a quick fix for everything, but within Sobriety I learnt that actually I am able to deal with life in other ways, I was wrapped up in the fear of not having my quick fix, but a lot of it was unfounded when I eventually put it to the test.
The other thing was that I'd always have put myself in the introvert category of personality type, and that is still true, but I rekindled my social skills that I had a long time ago, before I needed alcohol to be social, having humour and making conversation naturally is something that I had merely suppressed through my reliance on alcohol!!
I used to dislike myself a lot, that was the root of a lot of my drinking, numbing away all of the feelings I had about myself was appealing, but now I can look in the mirror and see things that I like, I've made peace with myself and can be content with some of who I am, I still have some way to go, but I'm getting to a much happier place!!
The other thing was that I'd always have put myself in the introvert category of personality type, and that is still true, but I rekindled my social skills that I had a long time ago, before I needed alcohol to be social, having humour and making conversation naturally is something that I had merely suppressed through my reliance on alcohol!!
I used to dislike myself a lot, that was the root of a lot of my drinking, numbing away all of the feelings I had about myself was appealing, but now I can look in the mirror and see things that I like, I've made peace with myself and can be content with some of who I am, I still have some way to go, but I'm getting to a much happier place!!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
The first time I got sober last year, I realised that I actually like myself! It sounds rather trivial and cliched, but there was a great sense of liberation in that realisation for me, along with a sense of gratitude. If I don't like myself, then it is always going to be a conflicted existence , especially regarding relationships with others, so yeah, I was stoked to find out I was kinda cool underneath it all.
Sorry if that was a ramble! I'm day 2 clean & sober here and my thinking is out of whack.
Sorry if that was a ramble! I'm day 2 clean & sober here and my thinking is out of whack.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Gnarlyboots, similar here. I couldn't stand my own presence when I was drinking. These days I feel pretty awesome about myself. Self esteem grows little by little everyday.
About the thread's question. Let's see. That I am mortal, that my body is fragile if I don't treat it well, I will wind up 6 feet under before my time. Yikes!
About the thread's question. Let's see. That I am mortal, that my body is fragile if I don't treat it well, I will wind up 6 feet under before my time. Yikes!
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
I think I am learning how to become an adult and that it is only me that is responsible for my happiness. I think I am learning how to look at the world from a completely different perspective then before. And what soberwolf said-anything is possible!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Posts: 119
I love these!!!! Thank you so much!
After a few years being sober, I figured out some things too that I had always blamed myself for and which weren't my fault. I began to see a lot of things more clearly and I began to own what was mine and let go of what was not. As most of us do, I have a dysfunctional family, and that has been a hard process. I am not yet fully accepting of some aspects of that, but I do know that I deal a lot better with it when I am sober. I also know that the weak parts of me (and the alcoholic brain) likes to use that as an excuse for the bottle.
Again - thanks for all the awesome stories and ideas
Beth
After a few years being sober, I figured out some things too that I had always blamed myself for and which weren't my fault. I began to see a lot of things more clearly and I began to own what was mine and let go of what was not. As most of us do, I have a dysfunctional family, and that has been a hard process. I am not yet fully accepting of some aspects of that, but I do know that I deal a lot better with it when I am sober. I also know that the weak parts of me (and the alcoholic brain) likes to use that as an excuse for the bottle.
Again - thanks for all the awesome stories and ideas
Beth
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 371
Much of this is so relevant to me. Thanks to you all for sharing!
I am also learning to let go of guilt, especially for the things I could never control...but imagined I could, or should.
I am learning not to think too hard about things.
I am learning here that I am not alone.:-)
I am learning...through brief moments of exhilaration...that one day I will feel again.
Thank you for your posts, Gratitude.
I am also learning to let go of guilt, especially for the things I could never control...but imagined I could, or should.
I am learning not to think too hard about things.
I am learning here that I am not alone.:-)
I am learning...through brief moments of exhilaration...that one day I will feel again.
Thank you for your posts, Gratitude.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Great topic....
Many times over the years, I've begun to just scratch the surface of this feeling that underlies my being; "who am I? what do I want? what is my purpose?".
Sometimes I've even gone to purposeful lengths to find the answers.... yet throughout all that time, I've done so from a vantage point that included alcohol in my life.
Lately, I feel really powerfully lost about WHAT DO I WANT TO DO? WHAT IS MY PURPOSE? WHO AM I!?!?!?
Though a know that I am a father, a person who values joy and nature and creativity and helping others and health and fitness and positivity and love....
I also find myself confused and conflicted and somewhat directionless.
Maybe it's because for the first time these questions are able to fully surface and be given my attention without the cloud of booze.
These are probably all questions I could have worked through when I was in my late teens or early twenties - were it not for my having been buzzed much of that time, married, in the military, etc.
Anyway - I suppose the short answer is I'm still learning what I'm learning, but I think I'm much more aware and capable of LEARNING about me, now that I'm sober.
Many times over the years, I've begun to just scratch the surface of this feeling that underlies my being; "who am I? what do I want? what is my purpose?".
Sometimes I've even gone to purposeful lengths to find the answers.... yet throughout all that time, I've done so from a vantage point that included alcohol in my life.
Lately, I feel really powerfully lost about WHAT DO I WANT TO DO? WHAT IS MY PURPOSE? WHO AM I!?!?!?
Though a know that I am a father, a person who values joy and nature and creativity and helping others and health and fitness and positivity and love....
I also find myself confused and conflicted and somewhat directionless.
Maybe it's because for the first time these questions are able to fully surface and be given my attention without the cloud of booze.
These are probably all questions I could have worked through when I was in my late teens or early twenties - were it not for my having been buzzed much of that time, married, in the military, etc.
Anyway - I suppose the short answer is I'm still learning what I'm learning, but I think I'm much more aware and capable of LEARNING about me, now that I'm sober.
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