I need your support!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 10
I need your support!
Hello Everyone,
I have been lurking on the forum for 1+ years but have only signed up today.
I have a growing problem with the misuse of alcohol and cocaine and I'm starting to realise how out of control this has become for me.
I never saw myself as being an alcoholic because I don't drink every day, normally only on the weekends. However, when I do drink it is always to the point of being drunk. Also when I add cocaine into the mix, the session goes on through the night and into a second day and (at 45) takes me several days to recover only to be followed by rinse and repeat.
I am feeling very demoralized today after being on such a session on Thursday night / Friday.
My relationship of 12 years came to an end early this year and the above played a considerable part in this which is adding to my feeling of immense guilt and shock that I have allowed this happen to me.
I will leave it at that but I am starting to feel it is time to come off the fence and face the facts with where this is going.
Thanks,
Aidan
I have been lurking on the forum for 1+ years but have only signed up today.
I have a growing problem with the misuse of alcohol and cocaine and I'm starting to realise how out of control this has become for me.
I never saw myself as being an alcoholic because I don't drink every day, normally only on the weekends. However, when I do drink it is always to the point of being drunk. Also when I add cocaine into the mix, the session goes on through the night and into a second day and (at 45) takes me several days to recover only to be followed by rinse and repeat.
I am feeling very demoralized today after being on such a session on Thursday night / Friday.
My relationship of 12 years came to an end early this year and the above played a considerable part in this which is adding to my feeling of immense guilt and shock that I have allowed this happen to me.
I will leave it at that but I am starting to feel it is time to come off the fence and face the facts with where this is going.
Thanks,
Aidan
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,358
Nice job, Aidan, to sign up and ask for support! It really helps to not do it alone. It's been years since I used coke - maybe 35 or 40 - but I remember how forlorn I felt for a while when I quit. As if I was "empty". It gets so much better!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 33
Hello there,
"I never saw myself as being an alcoholic because I don't drink every day"
I said that many times myself. I was an industrial strength binge drinker who would drink as much as possible as quickly as possible every night that I wasn't on call. Through being honest with myself I came to see that I didn't relate to alcoholics in drinking pattern but I definitely related in the fact that both them and I drank to excess.
I appreciate the amount of honesty in your post and I welcome you to this forum.
I wish you well in the struggle
"I never saw myself as being an alcoholic because I don't drink every day"
I said that many times myself. I was an industrial strength binge drinker who would drink as much as possible as quickly as possible every night that I wasn't on call. Through being honest with myself I came to see that I didn't relate to alcoholics in drinking pattern but I definitely related in the fact that both them and I drank to excess.
I appreciate the amount of honesty in your post and I welcome you to this forum.
I wish you well in the struggle
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome Aidan! You've come to a great place for encouragement and friendship. We all understand what you're going through. Not being alone with your feelings really helps.
Once I finally realized drinking only made my anxiety worse - I was able to let go of it. The idea that it was helping me cope was ridiculous, but I clung to it for too many years. This won't happen to you. Glad you are with us.
Once I finally realized drinking only made my anxiety worse - I was able to let go of it. The idea that it was helping me cope was ridiculous, but I clung to it for too many years. This won't happen to you. Glad you are with us.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: South Shore, MA
Posts: 348
Hi Aidan! I wasn't a coke user, but many friends were and I saw first hand the result of those benders. They have since stopped, one from AA and another from fear. You can do it. I am mid forties too and just loved my wine and vodka. It gets sooooooo tiring. There is so much else to do right now. Hang in there, there are so many here that get it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 10
Hello All,
Thank you all for your words of support and encouragement.
I specially relate to the comment about being like an industrial strength binge drinker, at least when I wake up on this Monday morning, I can feel like a captain of industry LOL if it wasn't so serious.
The coming weeks are going to be tough.
Why is it that the fear of loss of employment, income, friends and potentially loss of life itself takes second place to the dreaded fear of life without a drink?
I'm giving myself 3 months to rediscover life without booze etc and to return to the happiness that life once held without these things even with it's ups and downs.
I'm looking forward to talking to you over the coming weeks and months.
Take care,
Aidan
Thank you all for your words of support and encouragement.
I specially relate to the comment about being like an industrial strength binge drinker, at least when I wake up on this Monday morning, I can feel like a captain of industry LOL if it wasn't so serious.
The coming weeks are going to be tough.
Why is it that the fear of loss of employment, income, friends and potentially loss of life itself takes second place to the dreaded fear of life without a drink?
I'm giving myself 3 months to rediscover life without booze etc and to return to the happiness that life once held without these things even with it's ups and downs.
I'm looking forward to talking to you over the coming weeks and months.
Take care,
Aidan
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