four812

I am ducking up in all areas of my life now.

It's time to let go. I want to cry and to scream and to hide in bed for a long time. But life must go on and I don't want what I've been doing any more. I am afraid

Dee74

I really hope you can make this the final turning point Four. It only gets worse from here if you continue using, man.

D

MIRecovery

There is a way out. It is called sobriety and is done a day at a time

brian810

These people are right four listen to them I was a mess ladt week st this time I'm still a mess but a clean mess if that makes sense lol

Mamahawk

You can do this Four. I'm here for you. You can save yourself. Despair doesn't have to rule your life. Do whatever it takes. Take your life back from this monster. It's time.

four812

Thanks all

I think deep down I have to learn to love myself and to believe I am worthy.

I've been making myself unloveable much of my life. This seems to be part of the root of my dis-ease. Along with the fear that others wouldn't accept/like me if they knew me.

anattaboy

Congrats on making the decision!

Mamahawk

Not feeling worthy kept me sick for a long time Four. I know exactly what you mean by that. I hope you can realize you are worthy before it's to late my friend. You are a precious soul. You are here for a reason.

OpioPhobe

Four - what's up with the mentor/sponsor you got in touch with before? Have you been able to reach out to him consistently?

I wish you the best man. Keep fighting.

four812

Yes Ive been in daily contact with him despite my using. He hasn't given up on me and won't (same with my therapist). Its the first like aa person who has stuck with me through relapses....thankful for that ....so today is day 2...sobriety date 9-11-14

brian810

Like me if u fall get right back up and try again

Change4good

Fall down 10 times, get back up 11. Personally, getting back up, going through hell, and then arriving at a better place is one of the great joys of sobriety. You can do this. Say it with me, "You can DO THIS."

four812

My sponsor sent me this today and it's a morning thought in the right direction

"You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart...and you're gonna find that you're as beautiful as you feel. "

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w4DFsw0N-c

four812

"We can do this"!