Fury...what to do with it?
Mamahawk
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,034
Fury...what to do with it?
Anger is a huge trigger of mine. Before when I got angry at family members of course my first reaction was to run and get pills. It was the ONLy way to calm down. I am feeling so angry, so mad right now I feel as if I could just blow up. Of course I can't go get pills so what do I do??? My STUPID brother has given my 19 year old son a motorcycle. But it's not just any motorcycle. This thing is for experienced riders. It goes to 60 mph in FIRST GEAR. My son has never even ridden. My brother has years of experience riding. What in Sam Hill is wrong with him. And now I can't talk ANY sense into my son who just thinks he going to be coolest baddest sucker that ever walked the earth. I swear if I can't calm down I do not think this motorcycle is going to survive the night. I have the worst feeling it's going to end my sons life or change it forever. Why?? Why?? Why would he think this a good idea? I have not felt rage like this in so long.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
I empathise mama. I think I would rather sell the bike than let any kids of mine ride one.
I also agree that bike is ridiculous for a novice rider.
He's not likely to give it away tho.
I think the best thing to do is to insist your son enrol in what they call defensive driving courses here....something that teaches him how to be a responsible bike rider
It's the best way to make sure he knows how to ride properly and how to deal with other drivers, cars, and dangerous situations.
Pills won;t help. Running away from this will not help you or your son.
What does your husband think?
D
I also agree that bike is ridiculous for a novice rider.
He's not likely to give it away tho.
I think the best thing to do is to insist your son enrol in what they call defensive driving courses here....something that teaches him how to be a responsible bike rider
It's the best way to make sure he knows how to ride properly and how to deal with other drivers, cars, and dangerous situations.
Pills won;t help. Running away from this will not help you or your son.
What does your husband think?
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
Try not to damage the bike Mama - it will not only drive a wedge between you guys, it'll just make him more determined to ride the damn thing.
I hope you hear from more parents on this - it's a really tough thing to let go.
D
I hope you hear from more parents on this - it's a really tough thing to let go.
D
Guest
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 675
You could go to your brother and ask him what possessed him and maybe you could work out some kind of plan with his help to gradually introduce the thing. He is 19 after all and legal age to function without his mother.
I had such a bike when I was 19 and also had a 400 HP car to drive that was my dad's. I had always been a science nerd but became intensely cool with muscle power like that. I was one wild MF'r but survived. Survived a lot of drugs as well.
So far.
I had such a bike when I was 19 and also had a 400 HP car to drive that was my dad's. I had always been a science nerd but became intensely cool with muscle power like that. I was one wild MF'r but survived. Survived a lot of drugs as well.
So far.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 598
I agree that this is completely thoughtless as a gift. It's like giving someone else a pet. There are just certain things that those outside the home have no right to do in my opinion.
I have always wanted a motorcycle. Years and years ago when I got my first ride on the back of a friend's bike I returned home to my mother on the front porch with tears in her eyes. She knew. She knew once I had experienced it the first words out of my mouth were going to be "I want one". And she was right.
Coming from England, where bikes are also very common, she had known too many friends that had lost their lives due to motorcycle accidents. The pain in her eyes was too much for me. I never pursued it.
Then after beating my battle with cancer, my first thought was I needed to do something - it was my second chance at life and wanted to grab on to a dream. I told her (and others) at a dinner that I wanted to enroll in class and get my motorcycle license. The pain on her face was still there. She did not try to stop me. But I knew I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't put her through that. I couldn't break her heart.
Talk to him. Be honest. Share your feelings without anger. And perhaps, he will also make the right decision. If not for himself, for you. You might be surprised.
I have always wanted a motorcycle. Years and years ago when I got my first ride on the back of a friend's bike I returned home to my mother on the front porch with tears in her eyes. She knew. She knew once I had experienced it the first words out of my mouth were going to be "I want one". And she was right.
Coming from England, where bikes are also very common, she had known too many friends that had lost their lives due to motorcycle accidents. The pain in her eyes was too much for me. I never pursued it.
Then after beating my battle with cancer, my first thought was I needed to do something - it was my second chance at life and wanted to grab on to a dream. I told her (and others) at a dinner that I wanted to enroll in class and get my motorcycle license. The pain on her face was still there. She did not try to stop me. But I knew I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't put her through that. I couldn't break her heart.
Talk to him. Be honest. Share your feelings without anger. And perhaps, he will also make the right decision. If not for himself, for you. You might be surprised.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
Mama - have you spoken to your brother directly on this topic in the past? I must admit that is seems strange to just come out of the blue though. Has your son had his eyes on bikes for a while?
Is there a Note on the bike or did he buy it cash? If so, who is going to be paying the Note?
Is there a Note on the bike or did he buy it cash? If so, who is going to be paying the Note?
Mamahawk
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,034
Opio, my brother only owes 2,000 on the bike. My son has been saving for a car and my brother is having a baby and wants to get rid of his payment so his solution was to give it to my son. He gave it to him without consulting me or my husband. His response when I asked him why he didn't ask us is "Brennan is a grown man". Brennan never had his eye in a bike before this. I guess the fact my brother is 38 and is just having his first baby and has just been a big kid all his life so far factors into this.
Eyes I have tried talking to him. My husband has tried. My mom has tried. Even his sixteen yr old brother has tried. So far the only thing that has surprised me is my sin actually thinks this is a good idea. This is a racing bike. It goes to 60 in first gear. I'm just in shock.
Eyes I have tried talking to him. My husband has tried. My mom has tried. Even his sixteen yr old brother has tried. So far the only thing that has surprised me is my sin actually thinks this is a good idea. This is a racing bike. It goes to 60 in first gear. I'm just in shock.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,548
Hmm. I would be annoyed with my brother too Mama, but then I would need to move on.
Dee is right; insist your son enrols in a course so he can be a safe rider.
Other than that my love....I hear you on the anger issue.
This is a very big trigger for me too.
Sounds like you could benefit from a punching bag...I know I would have one if I had my own house.
You will get through this love, and so will your son. Boys and bikes huh...that will never change I guess.
Love and hugs and please know I'm here for you!!!!
V xx ♥
Dee is right; insist your son enrols in a course so he can be a safe rider.
Other than that my love....I hear you on the anger issue.
This is a very big trigger for me too.
Sounds like you could benefit from a punching bag...I know I would have one if I had my own house.
You will get through this love, and so will your son. Boys and bikes huh...that will never change I guess.
Love and hugs and please know I'm here for you!!!!
V xx ♥
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