amandasue

My divorce from AH will be final in three weeks. We will have been married for 27 years. I feel no sadness, no regrets, no twinges of mourning. Am i cold? Why am i so unemotional about this? Normally i am over the top sentimental about every little thing! Thank god for this site. It has helped me so much throughout the years and i have learned uch valuable information! I guess i am ready to move on and start a new and healthy life and the craving for that over rides everything else....well that and working three jobs ! I have found a new love, a healthy love at this late stage of my life and i feel very blessed! I put in herclean efforts to help my AH but when i realized all my efforts were for naught , i threw in the towel. Unfortunately my kids were treated like crap from their father because they are an extension of me in his eyes.

hopeful4

I just got divorced and was just the same way. I realized that I grieved my marriage a long time ago, this was just the final chapter and ending.

Hugs...

unsureoffuture

I am the same. I am finalizing the paperwork tommorow for my divorce and I feel happy. Even with the stress of divorce, moving and starting over, I am so much happier and more "alive" now than I ever was. It's very surreal. It took me years to get to this point so I believe I grieved my marriage long ago too. This site helped me as well. I never would have gotten to the point I am at without the support and guidance of these wonderful people here. Good luck

lillamy

That. Exactly.

A friend of mine was struggling big time with her mother remarrying just a year after her father died from liver failure -- he was a lifelong alcoholic. He asked me "how can my mom just forget dad like that -- it hasn't even been a year?"

I told him exactly what Hopeful said: That when you're married to an alcoholic, by the time they die (or you divorce them), most of the time, you've already done your grieving.

I actually thought I would be happy and dancing in the streets after my divorce was final. I had been telling my friends that "the day I get that signature from the judge, I'm buying expensive champagne and making my favorite food for dinner!" I was almost shocked at how little I felt. I wasn't happy. I wasn't sad. I was just emotionless. And my therapist kept saying "allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling -- even if it's nothing."