Mamahawk

For twenty years I stayed on the highway. Ninety miles an hour in the fast lane. I could see straight ahead, no stops, no turns, no hills to climb. I didn't want anything to slow me down so I slowly began tossing all I valued out the window. I littered the roadway with my heart, my truth, my soul. I didn't need much with me, just the voice in my head. Well everybody knows you can't go that fast without having a crash. I slam on my brakes just before it's to late. In front of me lies a path. It's secluded, so hard to see. I'm scared to leave what I know, what I think I need. I take one step, then another and slowly realize I kind of like this pace. It's harder to navigate but I follow the twists and the turns determined to find my way. I trudge up the hills even though I'm tired and feel like I can't go on. Along the way I find the things I tossed away. I pick up my heart and put it back where it belongs. I stop and get on my knees and cry and ask for help. My soul comes awake. As I walk in my truth I hold faiths hand , I realize I will never leave this path. I'm going to stay here on this road less traveled.

liv1ce

Nicely stated. I was looking for a little inspiration this morning.

Mamahawk

Thanks Liv. Sometimes I get all inspired and have to get it out. I'm coming up on four months clean this week.

Mamahawk

Thursday I think. I have to look to be sure. I lose count of the days now. Funny I counted minutes, then hours and days. Now I have to look to remember.

Mamahawk

You have all the inspiration you need. Just look in the mirror. See that face. It's WORTH saving Liv. And you can do it! I did so I know you can.

brian810

Mama believe me you are an inspiration to us who are trying to break this demon thank you especially spending your free time on here trying to help addicted people like me some way some how it will come back to you I promise

SeekingGrowth

Beautiful metaphor, Mamahawk. Congratulations on four months. That's a great accomplishment!

brian810

Yes thank what a great team here all you guys working together to help us newbies

Mrrryah1

I love it

liv1ce

Thanks for the encouragement Mama. I find it hard to say that due to the fact that I am probably 100 years older than you but you do have the lead on me relative to sobriety. I believe that at this time in my life I have more years sober than not but staying that way seems to be difficult for me.

I am now 7 days sober and it seems less stressful this time around. I don't think I was quite as far gone for nearly as long this time. Really only a few short months but if I hadn't stopped - been stopped - I would have gotten to the usual point.

Last time it took 3 months to start sleeping again and this time I am already sleeping, albeit fitfully.

I have the best wife in the world who knew something was wrong and brought me back. rather than distancing herself at times like this she comes closer because she knows I need some support and help and that my life needs to be better off drugs than I thought it was on them.

Clean sober and honest is far better than the sneaking, thieving bastard I become went doing and/or hunting for a high.

Dee74

Congratulations on 4 months Mama

D

Mamahawk

Liv 7 days is great. I'm really proud for you. I'm so glad you have the support of your wife. I could not have done it without my husband. I'm glad you are sleeping even if it's fitful at least it's something. You have done this before and you can do it now! I know it's cliche and so simple but one thing I've seen over and over is you just have to make up your mind that you don't do that anymore. And stick with it. Do whatever it takes I'm rooting for you!

Mamahawk

Liv I love having a clear conscious and the guts to walk away from anything that is not in my best interest. It is so freeing. I'm still high on being clean and knowing I am always doing the right thing. I feel so inspired. To live, love, laugh and grow. It is empowering to take control of your life and leave the negative in your past. No more lies, no more deceit! Just freedom. Nothing is going to stop me or bring me down!