Am I wrong?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Rockford IL
Posts: 8
Am I wrong?
Just the basics: husband just home from detox for third time. No beds in treatment available. He asks for the car to go to a meeting. I offer to drop him off. He goes to bed, way early, no meeting. Did I do wrong? Should I have trusted him and give. Him the keys to our only car? WhT should I do/say next time?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi godlyma
to me it doesn't seem like it's your fault he didn't go - you didn't want him to have the car.(which I think is perfectly reasonable)...you offered him a lift, he declined that option...he made no effort to make alternative arrangements...why would it be your fault?
D
to me it doesn't seem like it's your fault he didn't go - you didn't want him to have the car.(which I think is perfectly reasonable)...you offered him a lift, he declined that option...he made no effort to make alternative arrangements...why would it be your fault?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Rockford IL
Posts: 8
Thanks everyone. I want to be loving, but it's not being made easy. I thought third time was the charm lol. I think detox made him worse this time, not better. At least the other two times he came out and tried, both to be nice to the family and to maintain calmness and sobriety. Crap. I just realized the chance I missed. I am starting to wish now that I had refused to let him come home!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by godlyma 
Thanks everyone. I want to be loving, but it's not being made easy. I thought third time was the charm lol. I think detox made him worse this time, not better. At least the other two times he came out and tried, both to be nice to the family and to maintain calmness and sobriety. Crap. I just realized the chance I missed. I am starting to wish now that I had refused to let him come home!
Hi. I think you made the right choice considering the situation.
Personally I would also read on this site the Friends and Families forum and strongly suggest attending the black belt professional world wide group, (I truly love them but they don’t mess around!” of Alanon.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
You did everything right in my opinion! Just keep being supportive. Sounds to me like you are a caring loving person, that doesn't want to grant access to a vehicle to an addict, can't blame you there one bit.
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