Ashamedof

Today I am 30 days clean from oxycodone! It feels like just yesterday I stopped this month has actually flown by, well I would say the past 2 weeks have. The first 2 weeks felt like I was watching a never ending bad B movie.

Today I also cut my suboxone dose Down, I normally take 4mg in the am and I only took 2mg. I'm going to try and stick with just 8mg for a week and drop again depending on how I feel. I've realized that the suboxone is giving me pretty severe anxiety and I just don't like how I feel on it. I'm bloated and feel swollen? I'm not sure if this a common feeling but I'm hoping lowering the dose will help.

I just pray the intense cravings do not come back! That is the one thing the subs really help me with. I can't handle the other stuff that comes with PAWS or withdrawels, in fact I enjoy the emptying part (tmi) because I just feel light and like I'm removing toxins. I just can't ever say NO to the darn cravings.

I pray all of you are staying strong and making it another day drug free.

:-)

brian810

That's awesome congratulations I fell but back on my feet thanks for postings helping me out tremendously

mkintexas

Congrats. I am on sub now due to oxy. Cravings still get to me no matter how much sub I take. Been all the way up to 14mg a day. Now between 6-8mg. Since it does not seem sub does much for cravings (for me) I am going to try to get down as low as I can go to keep withdrawal away. At son point work on a taper as I don't want to be on this stuff either. But I have to put some time between oxy and taper. Just no clue how much.

Ashamedof

Thank you Brian! You fell but you're here and standing back up, that's what matters! It's a long road but it can be won, just look at the people with 10-20 years clean time, it gives me hope. A sober life can be a wonderful life, it's up to us to make it beautiful. As I look back on where I was a month ago, so much has changed in such a short time.
I've regained some confidence and actually feel proud of myself . I have not had this feeling in a very long time. I have not lied this month .I have not thought about what I'm going to come up with as to why this or that Bill wasn't being paid. I'm no longer looking at my cell phone every two seconds waiting for a text back on where to meet..living life high isn't really living at all. We're just existing in this never ending black hole. It only seems to grow and get worse the more we feed it.

What day are you on Brian? You CAN do this!

Ashamedof

I'm sorry it doesn't help you with cravings Mk, it's probably the one positive I get from subs. Can I ask how long you've been on it for? I know the first week was crazy for me and I still had pretty severe cravings. It got better week 2 and so on. I know tapering subs is best from what I'm reading. It can be done. Like you, I just want off this stuff and hoping wds are not too long or terrible.
Are you working with a dr for them? The doctors want to keep you on high doses it seems. Most people taper on their own.
Thinking of you.