Anon1969

I don't know where to begin. I tried quitting about a year ago. Came to this site and read some posts and posted myself and it really seemed to help. I relapsed and thought I could "control" it, you know, have a couple and stop. But it always ends up with bingeing until 4:00 in the morning. I don't know why I can't control it. I never used to be like this. The horrible thing is since I went back to drinking a year ago, I went from bingeing on the weekends to drinking almost every single night. I'm spiraling out of control. If I don't stop, I know it's going to end up killing me. I fell down one night and broke 2 of my fingers and that didn't even stop me. My wife already hates me now and wants to kick me out. I've tried rehab and it just wasn't for me. It made me feel like an even bigger loser. The worst part of all this is that I'm writing this now because I binged again last night and stayed out until 5:00 in the morning and feel awful and depressed and never ever want to feel like this again. But I know that when tomorrow rolls around, I'm going to want to drink again, and probably will. I don't know what else to do. It's part of my life.

If anybody can offer any advise, I would be truly grateful. Thank you.

Coldfusion

I would suggest doing something completely different from your routine in order to get sober. Have you ever been to any support group meetings? How about volunteering to help the homeless?

Inchworm

Welcome back, Anon. I hope you stay with us, post more often, and decide that alcohol is just masquerading as part of your life.

Fly N Buy

Sobriety doesn't fall from the sky. You have to reach a point that you desire sobriety more than wanting to drink. It's a choice.


When you reach your bottom there is help. Until such time it's pointless.

A desire to quit to quit my friend is needed.

Soberwolf

There is a great 24 h thread to help you deal with what your specifically going through right now

Welcome nice to meet you

Good luck

Thepatman

Coming back to SR was a brilliant idea. Most of us had that going back to see if we can control it experience. But for me once I had crossed the line into addiction I only continued to progress for the worst.

Realizing that you cannot ever control your drinking would be a great step. I will elevate some weight off your shoulders. Like Coldfusion mentioned maybe you can try something new and some meetings?

LonelyShadow

It's going to begin with making a decision to stop drinking and to get sober, just DECIDE. It's making you utterly miserable that comes across in your post. Get out of the cycle, decide to get sober no matter what it takes. You can do this. Many, many people have been in the same terrible cycle and broken out of it.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

24hrsAday

i was one who had to be BADLY Beaten by this Affliction before i Trully Surrendered. maybe you are now ready. Really Ready? AA saved my life Anon..

leviathan

keep reaching out. let spouse know. be honest with self and others. picture yourself one year from now, dealing with the same crap. picture yourself a year from now, feeling pretty darn good about things.

Anon1969

Thank you everyone for your comments. It helps just to know there are a lot of other people going through the same thing and that I am not alone. I do want to quit more than anything. I have definitely hit bottom. I can't see getting any lower than I am right now. I think this time whenever I get the urge to drink I need to come to this site and read the posts. Reading some of the posts today has been really inspiring. I just have to tell myself I can do it this time. I really need to find other things to do with my time.

soberclover

The control drinking thing never does seem to work for anyone but being the classic alcoholics that we all are, we have to figure that out ourselves. That is how it was for me! So glad you are back! You are right in that you need to keep yourself busy. Get all the alcohol out of your house. Make your house your safe alcohol free zone. Go to meetings, get some counseling, find some type of support that fits with you. Be brutally honest with yourself about your drinking. And spend lots of time on SR....very cool place

TSDD

I'll one up that and say that you'll need to reach a point where you desire sobriety enough to actually be wiling to stop drinking.

TSDD

I found my answers in the AA fellowship. You might try to investigate that.

A very practical trick is to eat a ton of ice cream. I have yet to meet the man or woman that'll throw down a 12 pack on top of a half gallon of chocolate ice cream.

It's do-able. The secret is to not take the first drink.

bunnezjp

The more you try to control your drinking, the more out of control you will become. Your whole life will revolve around drinking and how to "control" it, if it hasn't already. That's alot of time you could be spending somewhere else, like time with your spouse. Think it through. We're here for you

Bunnez

Dee74

Welcome back Anon

There's a lot of support and good advice here...and a lot of different methods to investigate

Coming here when you get the urge is good, but being a regular visitor here, even when you're not in trouble, is better, IMO.

SR helped focus me on my recovery and its fundamental importance.

Take a few minutes out of your day to check in, read around - maybe look up some of the methods others are using?

D