hez1979

I've been off drink a while now with one or 2 slip ups... I was positive alcohol lead to my low mood... Still in no doubt that it did however I'm feeling hopeless right now... I've 2 boys on my own and I'm struggling to get through the days. I resent there father who has a wife and therefore help and only takes them 2 days max a week. I feel so isolated and I know I drank for these reasons to block the sadness.. I don't want to drink but life is very very hard.

Soberwolf

I felt like this and I've come to realise its not the way we are only hurting ourselves and we become not ourselves

Hang in there dig deep and keep on posting your not alone at least not in here

mecanix

Hey Hez ,
I'm sorry your feeling hopeless . Certainly for me giving up drinking helped but it also took a lot of "self work" to change my way of viewing the world .

I felt burdened by the future i thought i could see and burdened by my past , if i carried on drinking i did know my future … an early, sad and painful death .

Nowadays i don't know my future , there are lots of things i don't know about , you can meet someone in the street and your whole life can change …

I live my life one day at a time , i work on what i've heard referred to as an attitude of gratitude .

I don't know what will happen tomorrow , if i stay sober it has a better chance of being something good . I try to build my support network of friends and soberists .

I hope you keep on , get help if you think depression might be knocking at the door ,

Bestwishes, m

GotGrace

Maybe you need to talk to your doctor. There is no shame in feeling overwhelmed by what life is serving up to you. Hopeless is not how you must go through life.

ghostdad

Hi Hez - I am new to this site but it has already shown me that I am not alone in this journey. Six weeks sober and I have no plans to go back to alcohol ever. There are so many supportive people here.

You know alcohol only compounds your troubles. You need to be the strong mom for your boys. My children are mostly in their teens and grew up with a drunk dad - unfortunately. Time I can't get back but they have been super supportive and forgiving. I can't seem to forgive myself however. How stupid I was all of those years. I actually thought I had it together and could function normally and still be a heavy drinker. I was dead wrong and it just about killed me.

Your blessed to have your children and they deserve to have happy memories of their childhood. I don't know how old they are but make each day count. I feel blessed and have been given another chance and I am not going to screw it up.

You are not alone. Come here as often as you need and get the help you need to stay off the alcohol.

hez1979

Thanks for replies... Perhaps alcohol isn't the issue I need medical help I think. Again thank you

NorMar

You said it very well, you drank to "block the sadness." Lots of us have. But it is only a temporary block to a situation, that will be there when you sober up. But now you have to deal with it, plus the depression and physical ills of drinking. Best of luck, and yes, live is very, very hard...with or without alcohol.

MythOfSisyphus

Alcohol is a depressant, hez1979. Many of started out using booze to self medicate and it maybe does offer a little relief at first; but over time it actually makes things worse. It's hard to change while you're still drinking but hard to stop drinking when you're hurting. It's a vicious cycle.

The good news is there is hope! No one should feel like there isn't hope. You can make a change in your life, save your life. It can get better.

Hang in there, hez1979!

AlcoholFree66

Thoroughly agree - alcohol has always been a depressant for me. I think the guilt and remorse attached to my drinking just leads to the cycle of depression.