lilac0721

I had just a few days without booze then went out to dinner with my husband and drank a couple mixed drinks. And then I drank vodka every night since. I feel groggy and my stomach is very displeased.

As many times as I've tried to quit alcohol for good, I go back to it. But I keep getting back and trying again.

I will do a cost-benefit analysis tonight (A Smart recovery tool, and something that I often use with my clients who are stuck and reluctant to change). That will be done with a cup of herbal tea, not a vodka tonic.

I am very grateful for SR.

HeadLump

I'm so sorry you're struggling, lilac, but you're not right back at the beginning - you'll have learnt more than you appreciate.

A cost benefit analysis will be a good exercise. Remember to include how helpless you feel now. With a reasonable run of sobriety, that will change.

Stick closely to SR and maybe try some additional help. You can do this and we're all rooting for you

27cougar

Keep trying! You can do this!

ccam1973

Lilac, great job on coming back. Do what ever it takes to succeed this time. Use this relapse as a learning tool for the future. remember why you quit in the first place.

Chilledice started a thread this morning titled "Why". Posting there and reading helped me remember exactly why I quit and exactly why I can never return to my past drinking days!

Realize where you stumbled and alter your path next time the same situation arises... Have a plan.

Good luck, we are here for you.

PurpleKnight

Go at things again!! Does your husband know of your decision to be Sober?

You can do this!!

ScottFromWI

Glad you are back lilac. Perhaps the problem isn't that you aren't trying hard enough, rather maybe you aren't doing the right things? Do you follow any formal method of recovery? If not maybe this time you should...you can learn a lot about them here.

happyfree2525

I am in the same boat as Lilac, I went 2 days without drinking and then fell off the wagon with the same result as always. Black out, hungover and hating myself! I want to be sober, why can't I get it right! I am very proud and envious of old friends that I here have lasting sobriety. Why can't I? Why do I keep doing this! If I know where taking the first drink leads me why don't I just not do it anymore!! Going to try again,

lilac0721

Thanks all! I haven't told my husband. But I will. It's tough because he goes to the bar nearly every night lately and I drink at home instead of spending money at the bar.

I've gained a lot of weight and am having recurrent GI issues. I felt pretty crappy all day today. Right now I am sipping on peppermint tea. Hoping I can get through today and sleep well tonight.

ultradad

This disease SUCKS Lilac! I've missed you and glad you're back!

Altoids

Wishing you the best this time around. You can do it. The c/b analysis will help a lot. Also, as CCAM said Reading that made my foundation a bit stronger today.

Hevyn

Hi lilac.

We have to be ready. It sounds like you've learned something & really want it this time. Good to see you - and we know you can do this.

dwtbd

I had to get rid of the baggage that thoughts like "here I am trying again" or "back to day 1" brought with them. My AV was pretty adept at picking up on the guilt I carried for past attempts at quitting.
I had to adopt a different strategy, to proactively disarm my AV , I acknowledged that the past was just that , past. 'This' was the beginning, the first last, this was different. When the AV showed up and tried to remind of the past , I just answered that was 'then' but this is 'Now' and there are new rules. 'Agains' no longer count.

Dee74

Welcome back Lilac
I agree with Scott - maybe you need to change your approach?

I think it must be next to impossible to stay sober without letting your husband in on the deal, for example.

Maybe it's time to look at your lifestyle and see what needs to change? what's not conducive to recovery?

A cost benefit analysis is great - but what about supoort? do you have enough? are you using the support you have effectively?

If you can grill yourself a little like this, I think, with a few tweaks of your plan, you could really see a change Lilac

D

Altoids

Love this!!! A guy in a meeting the other day talked about his "shame buttons being pressed." I knew exactly what he meant. Whether it is the guilt from the past, or the stigma that sometimes comes with disease that we get from others, when those "shame buttons" get pressed, we have to just shut it down. I like this "NEW RULES!!!"

PurpleKnight

Your husband not knowing is a huge factor when going out for dinner, as if he's oblivious to your commitment to Sobriety, the end result could have been predicted before even arriving at the restaurant, were you seriously going to say you weren't drinking?

It was far too easy to slip taking everything into consideration!!

But you can turn this around!!