eliza24

I was on this site not too long ago with a good two weeks of sobriety under my belt and feeling really good about myself, so good that I let that thought of "maybe I can drink normally" take over. I drank here and there for a couple weeks, never getting too out of control but still knowing zero alcohol is my best bet. Last week I had TWO crazy bad nights, drinking from one afternoon well into the next day not remembering how I even got more alcohol. I was able to stay semi under the radar but still had that horrible feeling of guilt and anxiety for a few days. Then on Saturday I got so drunk that I fell asleep and my dad had to come get my son out of his swing cause I didn't wake up when he did and my dad even took a video of me passed out like a fool to show me how severe things are. Well, I somehow woke up and went upstairs to socialize with people who all knew I was drunk and moronic. So not only did I show the world my true colors but I was a bad mom for my baby by not being there for him, I also was suppose to take my boyfriend to work cause he doesn't have a license but I was too drunk to drive so he decided to take the car that's not in our name yet and under my dad's insurance and he got the car impounded. (He was sober but he rear ended someone and didn't want to flea the scene) so, now after paying for their car to get out of impound and having my dad so disgusted with me that he won't even look at me, I have to go tomorrow morning with my son for a 6 hour flight, alone... I've been so nervous about this flight cause it's one of my biggest fears and I'm going knowing I've disappointed the only people who haven't really cut me off... Yet.

I wanted to wait a few days to write on here cause I know the day after a night like that it's always a lot harder to truly take someone's advice. I know I can't drink anymore. I've known for years and I'm ready to give it up for good. I wish I had a sponsor, how do you go about getting one?.

Pondlady

I hope you get some help to stop drinking, so you can take care of your son, as he can't take care of himself. If you're looking for a sponsor, you need to get to a meeting. If you're flying six hours away, there are lists of meetings in other cities.

least

Go to meetings and find someone whose sobriety you admire. Ask them to be your sponsor.

I hope you can find the support, both here and in AA, to stop drinking for good.

ultradad

eliza,

I've been checking on you now and then and was worried. I'm really glad that it ONLY took this to bring you back! Some people never make it back. You're going to be okay and so will your son, but you have and I mean HAVE to take action! Go to an AA meeting wherever you're at and ask for a temporary sponsor. That'll give you someone to at least get started with and then once you meet some people you can get a permanent one.

That voice/craving will eventually come back until we start recovering from this disease. And I promise you one thing, it only gets worse! PLEASE, pick your head up and know that you're not a bad person, you have an illness and then take the action to get the help you need!!!

YOU can do this and I believe in you!

ScottFromWI

If AA is your path and you want a sponsor, go to a meeting and ask. I would bet you could find several yet tonight. There is help and hope if you are serious about this.

It probably goes without saying, but passing out when you have an infant in your care is about as serious as it can get. You have a choice to do the right thing today....that choice ( and your child ) may not be in your control next time around.

PurpleKnight

Go at it again, you'll get there!!

For me I really needed to accept that a period of abstinence doesn't in any way fix or cure me, how could it? the 1st drink will lead to the same place!!

DoubleDragons

I am almost ten months sober. Last night I dreamt that I was at a wedding and I was grossly drunk and vomiting everywhere. I didn't remember anything and my father and my husband were furious at me. I cannot tell you the relief I felt when I woke up. That fact that I never have to drink alcohol again feels so good!! Give yourself the relief you deserve.